I would like to start off by saying that by no means, by my sharing my "story", my feelings, thoughts and experiences, am I doing so to have people feel sorry for me. I am not insinuating that anyone has either. wink, wink.
My feelings and what I go through is due to things that were set in motion many years ago, by choices I made. This is why we should not take having children lightly... meaning think things through... plan them out before you carry your decisions out.
I am not saying that I regret any of my decisions... I am saying I would have handle things a little bit different. Bite the bullet so to speak.
I've shared with you before, and it is also on my "About my Blog" page, I share all of me for when the day comes that my sons or daughter, family or friends, want to know me a little more or are trying to understand why I tick the way I do... well here's my handbook! Hahaha!
Yeah! I'm so complicated that I need a handbook! Hysterical! I never thought about it that way. Hahaha still can't stop laughing...
No... but seriously... I just wanted to leave my kids "my side of the story"... for whenever they were ready to learn about me.
Also... If I can help someone feel less alone... if my experiences help them in any way... or if they need a friend... well I sincerely hope I can help. I felt so alone going through a lot of my life, especially with my parents not really being around.
I won't lie to you... I am still picking myself up from my "down time" hahaha - that's a new way of looking at it. and it is not easy... but I am doing it.
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I am not claiming that I am some super hero, although I have been told most of my life that I looked like Wonder Woman ~ Linda Carter. Not saying that I did or anything, but there was a resemblance- I too am a brunette with blue eyes, so I'm sure that's part of it... you decide.
I know it's not the best picture of me to compare it with Linda Carter/Wonder Woman... but you get the idea ;) wink, wink. (This is a picture of me in beauty school circa 1982- I can't believe that its been thirty years!)
As I was saying, it's not that I am a Wonder Woman (hee, hee)... I know that I have dealt with depression most, if not all of my life (I can remember dealing with sadness as early as six and seven years old anyways), I have gone to therapy and been on anti-depressants...
However I personally feel that I would like to handle this naturally, and have chosen to deal with my issues and get over them. Ha! If only it was as easy as I made it sound.
Oh and by the way... I am not saying that everyone, anyone, you or anyone you know should handle grief, sadness or issues the way I am. Not a psychiatrist, therapist or anything.
I read, watch Oprah (hahaha sounds silly but I have learned a lot from her), read some more, talk to my besties and my family, use logic and my faith in God. Oh and how can I forget, I blog too.
All these things are my tools for healing and living a meaningful life. A life I will be proud of. A woman my husband, children, family and friends would be proud of.
I want to leave my children knowledge, compassion, honesty, integrity, tenderness and love.
I want to help someone not have to ever feel even one tenth of the pain I have felt in my life.
I want to help put a smile on someone's heart.
This is why I share my life.
A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.
~Denis Waitley
(here's to you finding your...)
Peace,
21 days to go... {I can't believe it, really I can't}
... for a, l & c. You are my sunshine(s).
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