Day 330 ~ Finding My Purpose

I have so much to say tonight and am having trouble trying to figure out where to start.  Chuckle.  No Seriously.  How about at the beginning?  lol!  {humor/sarcasm- joking? lol-- whatever!!!} haha 

I started tonight's post like any other night by "typing" the day in the title... "Day 3-3-0"...

[okay... that's it!... do we say  "I am typing?", "I am keyboarding?" or "is it a keyboard we are typing on?" ]

I'm not green at computers either.  I've had a computer, worked with computers, been around computers, build... fixed... sold computers... I have had computers all over the place... used them as desks for my kids... used them as lunch tables for my kids... I, have even eaten meals on computers... all since the mid 80s... all thanks to my father.  Come to think of it, in all those years never have we referred to "it" as "keyboarding"... maybe "data entry", which my "typing", "stroking of the keys" or "hitting the keys"... is not.  I am not doing data entry, I am trying to put out a decent thought.  (attempt at humor, sarcasm, or a combination of both, lol!) Whatever... I am "typing".  I am going to call it "typing" because I am just that old (haha)... besides it flows better.  There.  That's that.  lol

"Day 3-3-0"... WOW!  I have to share with you that I just had the last 330 days flash before me.  Honestly... I feel unbelievable!  I feel I have grown so much... granted I have so much more to go... but...


It's like all my "aha" moments have come together similar to a choir singing "Hallelujah!"  

I have really been applying and repeating to myself all that I have learned, and continue to learn on Oprah's LifeClass... as I shared with you on Day 326, which you can read about it here.

The flash was about all I have shared here... my good days... my bad days... memories... experiences... love... anger... hurt... deception... I even had some dark days too.  Huh!  I even stopped talking to "certain" family or people... lol!  It's done.  It's over.  It's in the past.

Today, I think about everything that has hurt me... my trials and tribulations and I accept it all.  YES, I accept it.  The pain that I have endured throughout my life has shown me that if I did not love so much... care so much... then I would not be capable of loving so much.  

[In other words, if I am not complicating things to much here by elaborating that I must love a whole lot, and I must care so much... because otherwise it would not have hurt so much!]

Instead of telling the same story over and over again, I am going to change it around a bit. Because of the hurt, experience and knowledge I have gained from my "experiences"... I will use this to help other families get through their troubled times.

So... as I look at "Day 3-3-0" I think of how I have grown as a person.  I think of the faith that has grown inside of me... I think of how grateful I am for being who and where I am.

I am here for a purpose... and it's time to put it to use!  wink, wink.

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.

~Dalai Lama

The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly. The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.

~Dalai Lama

Blessings...

35 days to go...  

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.  U.S Copyright laws apply.  © 2012

Day 171 ~ Are You Ready for My Help?

courtesy of Bing images

Sitting here looking back on my day wondering how and what I am going to share with you in tonight's post... well, let me share of the amazing AHA moment I have just experienced... 

you know of that happy family life that I continuously strive to have with my mother, sister and even my brother... 

two things... 

first off, I realized and agree, that I have been not only a great daughter but a good sister too.  I have made myself available time after time again, willing to help, assist and or support.  More importantly I have made effort to communicate better, understand, and above all do my best not to judge... however, strangely enough, somehow I feel that I have failed.  I failed because I am NOT helping.  I feel as if I am witnessing separate train wrecks about to happen, and I can not get the conductor to realize it.  I feel helpless to help, if that makes any sense. 

I also realized that I can not force myself, or my help onto someone else.  They have to want to be helped.  All I wanted to do is be able to really help my sister, brother as well, of course including my mother.  Each one of them are going through a bad time, and I feel as if my hands are tied.

how this affects me is that they are my blood, my family, and I do not like to see them hurt - it hurts me too.  I love them.  I miss them.  I even really wanted to spend time with my sister.  I am hurt and disappointed, however I more or less understand.  If they really wanted my help, I would be helping them.  right?

The finale to my AHA moment...  well, you know of that family I so desperately seek... I ALREADY HAVE IT!!  

As I rewound today's events, and looked on to my day, I realized that my husband's family, my family... yes my family... they were there for me and regardless of what may come out of my mouth, love me unconditionally! 

The love of a family is life's greatest blessing.    ~ author unknown

At the risk of sounding redundant, I am thankful for being a part of such a wonderful family.

Blessings to all!!

194 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 140 ~ My AHA Moment

I'm so happy I could
jump on Oprah's couch!

Today I experience an "AHA!" moment that unquestionably made me feel good about myself... I believed in myself.

As the title of my blog suggests... for the first time ever... in my life... I felt as if I was owning my life.  I felt/feel like I am "taking back my life, and making it my own."  Seriously.  I had a moment where my past was where it belonged, and I was accepting it for what it was.  I felt, without a doubt that all I wanted to do and obtain, was and is doable.  I had/have no second thoughts, uneasy feelings nor did I question myself.  All my plans (dreams) will come true.

Right now I feel as if I could do or conquer anything...

Oh, how I wish you could feel this same amazing feeling.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.   ~Abraham Lincoln

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.   ~Dalai Lama 

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.  ~Doug Larson

 Blessings to all!!

225 days / 32 weeks to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.