Day 437 ~ #29 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself, and why...

For the past 437 days my focus has been on bettering myself, my life, as well as the quality of life for my family.

After all as my father-in-law quotes...

A happy wife is a happy life.

Not to say that I am a horrible person, because I am not... however I have allowed my life's trials and tribulations, my past, and all the horrible things that have been done to me by none the less "mean" people, affect my {quality of} life.  It made me a very bitter, grouchy person.

437 days ago I set out on a journey that was to be a year long... and has inadvertently blossomed into my continued growth, which in turn has kept me blogging.

I am a work in progress and accept that.  I now also accept the things that have happened to me, and have forgiven many as well.

I feel that I am on the right road. 

Sure, I understand that going through one of life's changes, {peri-}menopause, has had an adverse affect on my and I will have grouchy moments.  But the fact is that I am aware of it and am working on it.  Which includes some apologizing on my behalf for uncontrollable outbursts of grouchyness.  LOL!

The important thing here is that I am aware of it and am working on myself... 

Bottom line.. I wouldn't change a thing.  Everything that I have gone through... all that I have seen... all that I have experienced... has made me who I am.  {and} I wouldn't change a single thing!

With God's grace.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ~1 Corinthians 10:31 (NIV)

Where I've been and where I'm going next...  

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.

Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 : Write a letter to a hero that has let you down.

Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.

Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life. 

Day 24 : Make a playlist for someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.

Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. 

Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

 Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]
Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 395 ~ Not Giving Up

Second day in a row that I didn't get my next I Am Second video (#16 and now #17)... nor have I received a response from my email yesterday either... hmmmmm.

Sooo... I've decided to go with it.  Take it all in some more.  Rethink what's been going on with my challenge.

My challenge in itself is awesome.  It has really taught me and given me some great things and people to think about.

However... funny thing, during my challenge, life has continued to happen.  I had a really rough week the week before last... which kinda overflowed into this week.  Actually my thoughts are what's been overflowing.

HOLD ON A SECOND... bare with me and follow my thoughts here.  Check this out...

Here I have been taking a challenge to get closer to God, Christ, Jesus Himself... and some negative things have happened.

Hmmmmm... could it possibly be 'the enemy" at work... trying to discourage me... trying to block my vision... trying to sabotage me and my relationship with God?

The reason I say this is because... here I am in the process of letting go, letting God... taking His word in... reading His word... feeling His word... and I was presented with several challenging life situations...

In one situation, well you can say I allowed my thoughts to get away with me, however well justified... but a little too much at that.  You shouldn't worry about something that hasn't happened, even if it has happened in the past (this is tough).  

In another situation I behaved like a complete idiot!  Completely against all I am trying to complete here.  I handled a situation horribly.  In other words I lost it, as opposed to being a little more in control of my actions or reactions.  Or rather getting the same point across in a nicer, loving and smarter way.

{and} Finally, another situation presented itself where I was really proud of how I handled it.  The "old" me would have completely lost it and told someone off... maybe even have thrown a grown-up temper tantrum... BUT I DID NOT!!!  I remained calm... I acted as if all was okay... I prayed about it... I processed it... and gave it to God.  {and} More importantly I did not give it another thought.

Seems as if my faith was being given a run for it's money... and I did not give up on it.  

I did not give up on my Faith.  I turned to it.  I let my worries go.  I allowed God to take over.

It's not easy... but most definitely worth it.

We are Second when we put Jesus First. Seconds are bold to lift up Jesus and tell others. Are you ready to become a stronger Second?

I challenge YOU to take the I Am Second [22] Day Challenge... Can you spare maybe fifteen minutes in a day?

Do not worry. Learn to pray about everything. Give thanks to God as you ask Him for what you need. ⁷ The peace of God is much greater than the human mind can understand. This peace will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  ~ Philippians 4:6-7 (NLV)

I AM SECOND.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 388 ~ I Am Second Challenge Day 11 of 22

This is Day 11 of my challenge... {and} my eleventh video...

... Shannon Culpepper's father moved out of Shannon's family home when she was seven, leaving her and her mother behind.  As she grew into a young woman she did not stop seeking the approval of her father all those years... eventually she found herself in a relationship with an older man when she was a senior in high school.  For as much as she loved her fiance, she learned with time that Christ is first.

Shannon Culpepper: I am Second

I too experienced exactly the same as Shannon... a few differences though... I was nine when my father left; while being only ten miles away, might as well have been 600; and my 'fiance' was only a year older than me and I did marry him.


Another difference Shannon and I have is that It has taken me much longer to realize the importance of God in my life, and putting Him first.


I am starting to get the hang of it [putting Him first that is]... however leading a Christian life or rather 'Jesus' like (as in What would Jesus do?} behavior isn't all that easy.  You'd have to be perfect.


As an example... living by the golden rule {treat others as you would want to be treated}, loving your neighbor, for another... being kind and non-judgmental... and of course being forgiving.


NOW... If that's the case... then I have broken every rule this week.


I allowed everything and everyone get to me this week.  Not only that... but I reacted to it all... and nastily!


What I can say for myself is... I do not regret what points I was trying to make ('trying' being the operative word) ... however it was how I reacted and said things.  I was an ass as far as that is concerned. 


Maybe it was a test to see if I could control myself? HA! If that's the case... then I failed!  LOL!  At this point all I can do is laugh.  It is what it is.  Just a reminder that I most definitely am not perfect.


BUT... I do respect myself enough to stand up how I want to be treated... I just have to be nicer about it {that's all}.


{and} as Shannon learned, Christ is the only one that will always love you... always be there for you... always pick you up.


Because, He is First... I am Second.

We are Second when we put Jesus First. Seconds are bold to lift up Jesus and tell others. Are you ready to become a stronger Second?

I challenge YOU to take the I Am Second [22] Day Challenge... Can you spare maybe fifteen minutes in a day?

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.  ~Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)

I AM SECOND.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright laws apply.   

Day 384 ~ I Am Second Challenge Day 7 of 22

This is Day 7 of my challenge... {and} my seventh video...

... Wayne Huizenga Jr., heir to Waste Management, Blockbuster Video, Auto Nation, Professional Sports teams, hotels, a resort and not to mention yachts, planes and automobiles...  

Wayne Huizenga: I am Second

Before watching this video, I thought to myself... "what on earth does he have trouble with?  He has everything!"  How could I conjure up sentiments for someone that I could not feel sorry for?  What could he possibly need?  After all he has everything!

Everything that is, but a relationship with God.

Not having God in his life, made Jr. feel empty even with all his accomplishments and treasures.

As I mentioned earlier, I am really having a hard time relating... after all we are even not in the same tax bracket!  However... the emptiness that Jr. (as he is called by all who know him) talks about feeling, well I can relate.

I've been working hard for a very long time, years that is, to get ahead.  Coming up with ideas after ideas that fizz out before ever hitting the drawing board due to discouragement, and basically not believing in myself.  

It hasn't been all that long that I have given myself to God, as a matter of fact I was baptized nearly three years ago.  Even though I have had Christ in my life for most of it, I have not led a Christian life.  I was more or less going through the motions.

Since moving to Texas I have attended more church (willingly) than I had all of my life.  I say willingly because I went to a Catholic school growing up and had to go to Church seven days a week... and honestly never got anything out of it.  Kind of hard when the service was in Latin!

About three months ago, I decided that I really wanted to be closer to God.  I decided that up until now I was not getting out of life what I wanted.  Was it because I did not truly have Jesus in my heart?  As I thought about it more I came to the conclusion that I needed to have Him in my life.

Making the decision to really go to church was very easy.  Actually my daughter (5 y/o) made it very easy for me.  She loves church and was always disappointed when we would not go.  I saw how much love she had for Jesus and I decided to help her grow her relationship with Christ by leading by example.  I would show her the love I have for Him myself, and live by His word.

Since then, I have become a "formal" member of our church, and attend classes {through our Church} to do more.

Today I do not have all the answers, or the riches that Jr. has... however with Jesus by my side I am growing stronger each day... and you never know... maybe I too one day will enjoy the fruits of my labor.

He is First... I am Second. 

We are Second when we put Jesus First. Seconds are bold to lift up Jesus and tell others. Are you ready to become a stronger Second?

I challenge YOU to take the I Am Second [22] Day Challenge... Can you spare maybe fifteen minutes in a day?

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.~Romans 10:9 (NIV)

I AM SECOND.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright laws apply.   

Day 355 ~ "Kiss" {and} "Love"

What I Learned About Me... from A to Z

What have I learned about myself this past year {blogging}..?  hmmmm... First off... I would like to make sure you know up front... I never had blogged before until I started this blog 349 days ago.  Secondly... I never intended on learning anything.  HAHA! LOL!  No but seriously... It wasn't my intention...   Check out what my intention(s) were/are here.

So here goes... What I Learned About Me... from A to Z

"K" is for...  Kiss  {Keep it Simple Stupid}     

HA! Me keep it simple?  This is rich!

If you were to ask my husband or father in law they would laugh as well. 

Reason being while in the process of answering a question they insist for me to get to the point.  I guess they don't need detail. lol!  {and} I guess I do.

Each and every time I tell them... "well I'm so sorry... this is how my brain works... in detail. "

However... through blogging I have learned to give detail when needed, and get to the point when detail is not required.

I try to stay on point, and I warn you if I get off subject that there's a reason behind it and to bare with me.

So this is me keeping it simple for my letter "K".

"L" is for...  Love      

The love that I have learned about me through blogging is not an ordinary one... 


I am not talking about that of a love of a partner, or the love of a child, a brother, family or a friend..


The love that I speak of is the love of oneself.  


I can't say that I am totally in love with myself... but I sure am trying to. 


I feel that the secret to this would be to be happy with oneself first... no regrets... no resentment...  


{although I have read some quotes that say that if you love yourself first, everything else comes easy..}  


Today I felt a little resentment towards myself resurface... which honestly I thought I had handled...


BUT NOOOO-OOOO...


Just goes to show that it is not that easy to forgive oneself for past mistakes.  I think it was remembering a moment in time that did it.  {having to do with my sons}


I have to be able to remember that moment in future moments and be able to brush it off without getting {even the tiniest bit} upset.  This is where acceptance comes into play.  


I {must not forget to} accept the past for what it is.  Forgive myself... so that I may truly love who I am!  {seems like it's so easy... that last step... complete forgiveness... for true love}  


Sounds like a work in progress... maybe I should look at it like alcoholism? ... one day at a time. Big smile.

To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don't wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.

~Alan Cohen

If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.

~Kristin Chenoweth

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

~Lucille Ball

Tomorrow...  What I Learned About Me... from A to Z ... the letter(s) "M". 

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

10 days to go... {I really can't believe this...}

read about this count down in my "About my Blog" page

... for a, l & c.  you are my sunshine(s).

Images are courtesy of either google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barilá Karam and of this blog- Taking Back My Life ~ Making it My Own.  US Copyright law apply  ©

Day 348 ~ Learned "Acceptance" from "Blogging"

I had to get all mouthy and challenge myself again.. now, didn't I?!  LOL!!  

Last night I got all clever and gave myself one last challenge for these last 18 days...  

What I Learned About Me... from A to Z

What have I learned about myself this past year {blogging}..?  hmmmm... First off... I never had blogged before until I started this blog 348 days ago.  Secondly... I never intended on learning anything.  HAHA! LOL!  No but seriously... It wasn't my intention.  Check out what my intention(s) were and are here.

So here goes... What I Learned About Me... from A to Z

"A" is for...

Acceptance!  Yes!  I have learned to accept my life for what it is.  Everything that has happened to me... everything I experienced.  Planned or not.

Wouldn't it have been nice if I would have had "the" perfect childhood?  (sarcasm...lol!  no, really, I was trying to be funny.. or joke about it.. anyways...)  Or the perfect {first} marriage? etc.. etc...

Good... bad... or ugly... my fault or not...

It doesn't matter.  It's all in the past.  {you nor I... we...} Can't do anything about it.  It is what it is.  

Exactly.

Besides... I wouldn't be who I am if it hadn't been for....

{and} That my dear(s) is acceptance.

"B" is for...

Blogging.  Of course.  After all, in the last 347 days blogging has changed my life.  

As I stated at the beginning of this post... not only did I not plan on learning anything from this experience ... or rather... it never came to thought... 

I also did not think... nor did it ever come to mind... or did I dream that I would have grown so much from blogging.    Quite honestly, reliving some experiences left me drained... but they're behind me now... filled them in a balloon and let them go! (click on the link to the left of this to read the back story)

Blogging has reminded me how much I love writing, journaling... just putting thoughts down on paper or in blogging's case, I typed my words and watched them come to life in my daily posts.

{and} Just so you know... in my heart blogging will forever live.

Tomorrow...  What I Learned About Me... from A to Z ... and the letter "C".

Blogging is an art, same as any other method of self-expression.  Some are better at it than others.  

~Hugh MacLeod

(here's to you finding your...)

 Peace,  

17 days to go...  {humbled.}  

read about this count down in my "About my Blog" page

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.  U.S Copyright laws apply.  © 2012