Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Day 434 ~ #26 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 26: Have you ever thought of giving up on life? If so, when?...

The darkest time of my life was when I was fighting for my children.  My sons.

There were many dark times.

There were many sad times.

There were many, many lonely times too.

There were many times that for a half of a nano second the thought of not being around would be so much easier... 

I did say a nano second right? Yes a nano second. 
nanosecond (ns) is one billionth of a second (10−9 or 1/1,000,000,000 s). One nanosecond is to one second as one second is to 31.7 years.
So basically, as soon as I felt so low that giving up barely {and I mean barely} entered my thoughts... more like one syllable barely touching my lips... well I knew that basically this is not and will never be an option! 

Fighting for my sons, as I still continue to fight for a healthy relationship today, is and always will be a reason for me to live!  Always will be.

I will never stop wanting my sons by my side... I will never stop until God himself tells me it is my last breath.  I will never stop.  Never.  DId you get that I would NEVER stop?  wink, wink.

With God's will, I will continue to live... I will continue to love {my sons}... I will continue to live for {my sons}... I will continue to breathe because of {my sons}.  Of course, it goes without saying that I will do the same for my daughter, she is not excluded from any of this.

With God's will.
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.  ~Psalm 127:3 (NIV)
Where I've been and where I'm going next...  
Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 
Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : Write a letter to a hero that has let you down.
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life. 
Day 24 : Make a playlist for someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
 Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.


Claire Jennings said...

Knowing what I know of your fight for your sons, I was curious what you would say to this question. I agree with you, being there and fighting for a child is so much more important than anything else I have been asked to do in this life. I know you will always be there for your sons and daughter, and you will always be there for them.

mail4rosey said...

I don't know the story behind your post, but it sounds like you went through a very heavy personal battle/struggle. It also sounds like you made it through, so hurrah!

Anonymous said...

Wow, Carla, I have so much respect for you, laying your life out in your posts but for being such a passionate mother too and for having such great faith!! You inspire me with your blog. It takes courage to look at yourself that deeply and you, lady are just plain courageous with a capital C.

Czjai Reyes-Ocampo said...

I too, have the same reason for living - my son. :)

Have a great week, Carla!

Making Our Life Matter said...

Wow, what a strong person you are to have gone through that! And it's great that you are blogging about it!

Army of Moms said...

The thought of not having my sons breaks my heart. I can't imagine what it must be like for you. Keep fighting sister.