Day 500 ~ Time & Intimacy (XIII)

Day 13 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"I belong to mybeloved, and his desire is for me ." (Song of Solomon 7:10) 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

The sexual relationship. It's one of those elements—along with money and children—that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond.

Let's get practical here. Is your husband a "good lover"? Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.

In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you . . . his desire is toward you.

Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways. 

Day 13 ! . . .    

I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

I could not agree more that this is a sensitive area for most... sensitive and a little akward for most to speak of openly.- myself included.

I know this is getting a little personal... just a little - wink, wink.

I will say this... I need to make more time for my husband and make the effort to be on the same page with him.

What I mean is that I am going, going and going all day long.  I take Calley to school, then pick her up and all that's in between having to do with The Blessed Spoon.

{and}. . . 

My hubby is up at dawn and off to work before we even get out of bed; works for four to five hours; then goes and works a second job; and then back for another four hours or so... and gets home anywhere from 7:30 to 8:30 each evening.  The man gets home exhausted!!  

Calley's in bed by 7:30; I do my nightly blog writing and finish and Blessed Spoon business; and hit the sack by 9:00p

Hubby on the other hand needs un-winding time, a little time at the guitar and music mixer (he's always creating music- his second love ... wink, wink.); and then if there's a MMA or UFC fight you can find him glued to his tv chair! -  {and} really I do not blame him one bit for wanting to kick back in the evenings.  

SOOOooo . . .  as I said the hubby and I need to get on the same page or just spend a litle "exhausting" time together!!  BIG SMILE!!

On another note... I just wanted to do a little celebrating here... DAY 500!!!  WOW!! I can't believe what a great milestone!!!  YUP-PEE!!!!  

Here's to 500 more!!  

What a fabulous growing experience this has been and continues to be.  Not to mention all the wonderful people that are crossing my path.  Thank you for being a part of such a wonderful journey.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 498 ~ Vulnerability = Surrendering (XI)

Day 11 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22) 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission.

Men respond to women who respect them.  What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority.  Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership.  Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks.  Place your hand in his as you walk together.

If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership . . ."as to the Lord." 

Hereeee's day 11 ...   

I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

I will be very honest.  Ever since my divorce to my son's father, I really have a problem with this one.  (Poor Dino, always paying for what others have done to me.  sad face)

My poor husband.  

Anyways. . .  After giving yourself 100% to a man and then having him more or less kick you to the curb, mother of his children and all!!

Well... it's hard to open up 100% ... it's like you're always walking around protecting yourself.  

I mean... if the father of your sons can do "this" to you . . . who's to stop anyone else from doing the same... me.

TO forgive a person for bringing harm to you is one thing, but then to "forget" what was done is another.

So as I said... my poor husband.

Time is nearing our 10th anniversary... and I am starting to feel comfortable... meaning... he's sticking around.. thick and thin... richer or pooer... sad and happy... he's a not going anywhere!!

Maybe it's time to surrender a bit more... become vulnerable.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 492 ~ Praise Him (VI)

Day 6 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"...whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God."  (1 Corinthians 10:31b)

To refresh your memory, here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge for the next 30 days:

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God.

Is your husband the "creative" type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special "knack" he has? Affirm him for his handiwork - a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn't measure up to your standards, praise his efforts. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent.

If you have a hard time finding his "creative side," understand that men's creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work . . . and let him know that you have noticed.

Make his day . . . Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.   

Here's day 6 ...   
I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

Once again, if you have not been reading everyday I just wanted to let you know that my husband does not know I am doing this challenge.  After all if he did know, this challenge would not work.

I have always praised and continue to praise my husband for his talents.  He is an artist... he can draw like there's no tomorrow... and has an eye for matching and mixing colors that amazes me.  

Then to top it all off... my Dino is an amazing musician!  He plays a number of instruments... and has an ear for music that can pick an off beat note instantaneously.  He can listen to a song and within thirty minutes he is playing it.  SO impressive.  

So as I mentioned before... I have no problem praising my hubby.  He makes it very easy for me to praise him.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 479 ~ One Word- "Relax"

“Don’t tell God how big your Storm is.

Tell the storm how big your God is.”

I have never read such powerful words before in my life.  This is such a sincere example of faith and love of God.

I just read this quote on a {blogging} friend's blog... just moments ago as a matter of fact.  Since I met Kenya, I have always and continue to be a fan of her works.  

In am at a loss for words.  I am still trying to really process and soak in this strong quote.  One thing's for sure... I have never been taken aback by a quote as I have with the quote above.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 478 ~ All It Takes Is Faith

I've been really busy lately with all the preparations for my BIG Reveal (17 days and counting)...  making sure my vision is translated into reality... crossing all "t"'s and dotting all my "i"'s... laying out all my plans... setting up my objectivity... and most importantly... getting my {supporting} team together.

You see I want to do this right.  I want the foundation of my idea to be solid, so that anything we build on it will be very well supported.  

I do not want to make any mistakes and more importantly I do not want anything to go wrong.  I do not want anything to rain on my parade.  But above all... I do not want to fail.

After mentioning to {another one of} my friend{s} that I "didn't want to jinx anything," she too had some enlightening words for me that went hand in hand with what Kristen had said to me just days earlier.

"What gives you uncertainty?"  "Why do you have doubt?" Alysia asked me.

"Every time I have had something good going on for me, something has come up or someone has let me down and ruined it all. ... Plus, I do not want to fail"

"If something was to happen, something came up, could we not just change direction.  Do something differently?  Redirect?" 

As I processed her question and thought about it, I almost felt like an idiot when the answer was obviously so simple...  "Yes, we could."  I finally answered.

"Okay.  So if something comes up, we figure it out and keep going.  We are going to do this.  All you need is a little faith."

She left me at a loss for words. 

After I finished my conversation with Alysia it seemed as if the cloud that had been lingering over my head, following me everywhere {for what seemed to be an eternity} just vanished.  The sun appeared brighter than I have ever seen before!!

"FAITH."

She hit the nail on the head.

Funny how one word... one five letter word can light up your world.

Alysia hit the bull's eye on center!  She could not have been more right even if she tried.  The answer could not have been more simple if I had imagined it myself!  Having been knocked down so many times in my life... well I have to be honest... faith has been hard to come by.

faith noun \ˈfāth\

1a : allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty

b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions

2a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust

3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction;especially : a system of religious beliefs

I honestly think know that faith has been "the" missing ingredient in my life for quite some time now.  I don't know if it's my controlling nature (I learned this as a survival technique when I discovered that I had no one to help me with anything) or the diminished trust I have for others.

My problem is that I have to cut the purse strings.  Meaning... I need to trust God.  I need to completely let go and let God.  Surrender.

After all, how can anything go wrong when you have God on your side?  

Surrender to God All-Powerful! You will find peace and prosperity. ~Job 22:21

With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. 6Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 468 ~ Letting Go...

Today has been an unsettling day for me.  Going back to what happened on Sunday... (you can catch up on the drama here) ... well let's just say that not much else has been on my mind.  It's like a bad movie playing over and over again, without an end in sight.

Well I did come to one conclusion today...

After giving this (so) much thought... I figured out that much of my hurt stems from being bullied and humiliated for most of my life (especially as an adult,) by my own father and my (younger) sister, in my own home.  That, and witnessing lie after lie coming from both of their mouths.  It's like they weren't happy with their lives that they felt a need to fabricate most, if not all of their accomplishments.

So... fast forward to today... I do not do well when others lie.  I find a need to call them out on it.  Not to mention the bullying... well let's say that I am sensitive to that.

Therefore... you can definitely say that I do not do well with other people's $#!+.  I do not do well when people are not forthright.  I do not do well with people who are not honest.  I definitely do not do well when people are mean, ugly and gold-diggers! (both male and female alike!)  {and} Needless to say, I DO NOT LIKE BULLIES and WILL PROTECT my love ones and myself from them.  

I would just rather stay away from it all (period).

SO that's where I'm at.  My feelings hurt.  My defense up.  (and) A little sad.

What I am suppose to be doing is praying.  At least that is what my passionate anger class states.  Pray, leave it to God and if needed talk to the people who hurt you in a loving manner.  Therefore... tonight... I am praying and leaving it to God.  Tomorrow... talking.  Maybe.

Lord, you know what has happened.  You know how hurt I am, how angry I feel.  But I really believe that the best thing for me to do in this situation is to accept the wrong and turn the person over to you.

You know not only his or her actions, but his or her motives.  I know that You are a righteous God and so I trust You to do what is right by that person.  I also release my anger to You.  This anger stimulated me to think through the situation and I am taking the steps I believe to be best.  Therefore, the matter is over.

My anger has served its purpose and I release it to You.  Help me not to be controlled by any residual thoughts and feelings that may come to me over the next few days.  I want to use my life constructively and not be hindered by this event.  Thank you that I am your child and that You will take care of me.

Amen. 

I hope this works.  Don't want to be angry anymore and waste my precious time thinking about this.

 

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 433 ~ #25 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 25: The reason you believe you are still alive today...

There is no question about it... there are two reasons four reasons I believe I am alive today... no questions about it!

1. God
2. My first born
3. My second born
4. My third born

I have to be honest... there have been times in my life... okay I'll give you an example... wink, wink...

How about the time... it was the summer of 1978, just shortly after all the publicity of the Hillside Stranglers. They were killing women of all ages left and right in Southern California... I and another fifteen year old girl decided to hitchhike from the San Fernando Valley (a suburb just north of Los Angeles) to Yosemite... a 310 mile voyage...  All I can say is OH MY G!!  Not only that, but we hitchhiked back too.  My family clueless... 

All I have to say is that God had to have been watching over me! and I hope not to be as clueless as my parents were with me, with my own daughter.

As the years passed I have been faced with many other difficulties and I have to say that all three of my children have watched over me without their knowledge... I would have to definitely say that they have saved my life on more than one occasion.

There have been many difficult circumstances in my life, some that have put me in fetal position too! which have included the loss of my sons by my side.  However... the thought of my children... the visions of their little faces have given me unknown strength to move on and to better myself.

As I sit here and look back at all the crazy things I have done, all I can say is that I am so grateful to still be alive, watch my children grow into wonderful human beings and be able to make a difference.

That's right... I still have to make a difference... help someone in need...


Why are you still alive today?

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. ~Unknown

Where I've been and where I'm going next...  

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.

Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 : Write a letter to a hero that has let you down.

Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.

Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life. 

Day 24 : Make a playlist for someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

 Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]
Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 403 ~ I Am Second, An Afterthought

One thing is for sure... twenty-three days ago when I decided to do the I Am Second 22 Day Challenge.. I was prepared with an open mind, as well as an open heart for Christ.  I knew that if this challenge was anything like the two inspirational videos I had already seen at church... well... I was ready.

I had already been trying to get close to my faith, yet felt something was still missing... even so.. I was not going to stop seeking Him. 

Starting this challenge I really did not know what effect this would have on me, if any... listen, I knew that the experience could not be bad... at least no worse than what I was doing on my own- which was nothing.

Twenty-two days later... I have learned of some twenty-two inspiring people.  Some strong people... some very humble... and others brave.  All of them Second.

Each person's story, very much different then the next, reiterated to me the same message... one must have faith.

It all happened very quickly ... I now realize it... my faith was growing each day more and more...  

I feel a bit more at peace.  I have surrendered to Him.  I am trying not to worry about things. really releasing them to Him.  I am really trying to love my neighbor... not pass judgments... as I said I do feel a bit more peaceful...

I am NOT saying that it is all EASY!  I am here to tell you that it is NOT!  

It is In those times of trouble(s) that I have been turning more to God and praying my heart out!

wink, wink.

I would recommend it to anyone to do the 22 Day Challenge... especially if you question or are looking for a relationship with Him.

I have complete faith in God... He knows what He is doing and I am willing to listen and follow. 

I can wholeheartedly say...


I am second. 

We are Second when we put Jesus First.  Seconds are bold to lift up Jesus and tell others.  Are you ready to become a stronger Second?

I challenge YOU to take the I Am Second [22] Day Challenge... Can you spare maybe fifteen minutes in a day?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds,³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  ~James 1:2-4 (NIV)

I AM SECOND.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.