Day 408 ~ #1 of My 30 Days of Truth...

SO here goes Day 1 of my 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Wow... So, I have been thinking about this all day... What do I hate about myself?  hmmmm...


After much thought and consideration, I would have to say that there are two things that I hate about myself... I just couldn't make up my mind between the two.


Can I say dislike?  "Hate" is such a strong word.


Anyhooo.... 


First thing I hate about myself is that I am not confident enough about myself.  I second guess myself, always have.  Unsure if I am saying the right thing or doing the right thing.  I think this is part of wanting to please others .  You know, not wanting to ruffle anyone's feathers and all.


Tied for first is the fact that I get intimidated very easily.  I really do not like this about myself.  I pretty much can stand on my own, and believe very strongly in all that I believe in...  But get me around someone with a very strong personality, a man no less... and I coward down like a baby.  This I know for sure I can thank my father for.  He was very threatening to me, plus it didn't help that I had witnessed him hit my mother several times as a child... 


Okay.. make it three things I don't like about myself... because as I sat here writing this I realized that along with a lack of self esteem/confidence and intimidation.. is my quick anger.  It has come out more so in recent years (the beginnings of menopause for sure!) and I am not liking it.  I will blow up at something... and then after the fact ask myself where the heck that came from.  Was that my evil twin sister or what?!  My husband says its okay because at least I am aware about it and realize it... and I am trying to work on it and snip it at the bud.  So... I guess he does have a point... after all I could be a bitch and not care about it at all!  HAHAHA   Thank God that's not the case.


So there you have it... not one, not two, but three things I do not like about myself.

what's next? ...

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Soo...  here goes another challenge and by the looks of this one... well I have a feeling I may get more out of this than just a 30 day challenge.

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to my 30 Days of Truth challenge!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 405 ~ Do You Have Life's Tools?

All I can say is ... WHAT A DAY!!

Funny how life happens... you can have your day planned.. you can even have your week planned... but then right when you think things are flowing... Life happens.

All it takes is for one phone call or a text and WHAM-O!  TA DAAA!!  

Hello... this is life... and just in case you thought everything was fine... well ... here I am!

Can you guess this is what happened to me?  Yup.  It did.  The last couple of days.

All that needs to happen is for me to get is a phone call, text, a cry for help... and I drop everything for my loved one.

Doesn't matter if you are a friend or blood relation... I will move heaven and earth to help you.

My heart literally aches, at knowing that one of my loved ones is in trouble.  I always have to refrain myself from giving advice and focus on the situation at hand.  However no matter what... my goal is to help my loved one out,  get them out of harm's way and into happy bliss.

NOW... to those people that love to harm others.. who actually go out of their way to hurt people... who feel that they need to act on their thoughts or frustrations... who behave like complete idiots...  well... WHAT THE H3LL is wrong with you?

I know that misery loves company... but this is ridiculous!!

I just don't get it.  Why do people hurt other people... people who they claimed to have loved (for crying out loud... you actually told these people YOU loved them!)... people who you broke bread with... people who were supposedly such good friends that you considered them your family... Why?

It is said that there is a fine line between love and hate.  Really?  It is also said that it has to do with intensity, emotion and passion... no different that there being a fine line between pleasure and pain.

I don't know.  Maybe it's all part of human nature?

I am not saying that I am a perfect specimen of a human being... YEAH RIGHT!  LOL!  After all Lord knows that I too have loved someone so much that when there has been a disagreement, fight or falling out... well... I too have thought or rather have felt that anger.  BUT... I have never acted on it.. at least not on purpose.  

I'll be the first to admit that I have said ugly things (derived from you hurt me, now I am going to hurt you...) but after the dust settled... I have felt horrible about what was said.

All I would like to say is that if you have loved someone at one point in your life and they have disappointed or hurt you... it is not necessary to HURT them back.  Just let it go.  If they insist on being ugly... well that's on them... don't lower yourself to their level of non-intelligence.  Let it go.

OH I KNOW... it is easier said than done.  

However... do remember this... we all have been born, raised and have experienced different things in our lives... even within your own family.  

Not only that, but we all have different types of family support... some are caring... and some that could care less... some are encouraging and supportive... others, abusive, demeaning and full of hatred...

{and} When we co-mingle, date or even get married... we are joining our pasts and upbringing together.  It can be healthy... and then... well... we ... should have ... ran the other way!  ;)

Those of you who have been raised in a loving environment,... understand that you have been given better tools than those of us (yes I am included in this bunch) that were raised in the opposing environment.  

With that said... fortunately or unfortunately... depending on how you look at it...  those of you that were blessed with the proper tools have to decide on whether or not you will extend those tools, or rather,  the "love" to those who need it... or regress into the dark side.

Personally... I have been blessed with a husband that was blessed to have been raised in a loving environment.  {and} I feel sooo blessed that my husband loves me enough to share his tools with me.  [He is patient with me and walks away when I have had {for lack of a better description} a temper tantrum.]

I feel so blessed that my husband understands where I came from... he is patient and understanding... he also knows that I want what he wants... a healthy upbringing for our daughter- the most important person in our lives together.

One day Calley will join with her loved one and create a family of her own... We need to do our best so that one day she will be her best.

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.