Day 473 ~ Saying Good-Bye to a {Four-Legged} Family Member

Lola came into our lives April of 2002.  

Our dog Kelly had been in {near} seclusion for two months, which meant no play dates, after being hit by a car.  Kelly had to have hip surgery, and lost an eye.

Seeing that Kelly was not her playful self in quite sometime, Dean and I decided to get her a sister.  A permanent play date/mate if you will.  We rescued Lola from the animal shelter, as we did Kelly.

As we approached a kennel, we immediately saw her.  She was the sweetest looking dog.  As she approached us, another dog in the same kennel came along and bullied her into a corner.  Immediately we wanted to save her.

Fast-forward to today... Lola has not been doing well for almost two months.  After her appetite seemed to diminish and she would not even eat roast beef, we took her to the vet.

After x-rays, blood work, exams and the opinion of two vets {and $500 later}... there's nothing we can do.  Nothing was found in the x-rays or blood-work... however, a mass was felt around her kidneys.  Cancer?  We'll never know.  She has lost too much muscle mass, weight and the fact that she won't eat- surgery is out of the question.

As a family we gather... we reminisce... we look at pictures... we laugh... we tell stories... we cry.

We wait for the moment... for the look... where she will tell us how much she loves us... where she tells us good bye.

We are sad.  

However... 

We know that we have given her a wonderful life and when she does leave us...

We know that she will be going to a wonderful place... doggie heaven.

Where she will find rivers filled with milk... with biscuits everywhere... balls galore... and toys here and there.  

Best thing of all she will be reunited with all our other family fur-babies... Ranger, Hannah, Max, Alex, One, Blondie and Mikey...

~ An Homage to Lola ~

Lola and Kelly

Lola welcoming Pepper to the family

Kelly, Lola and Pepper

Lola, Kelly and Pepper

The girls taking over the sofa.

Dean & my engagement photo shoot;

including our girls in a few of the pictures 

Venice Beach, California

Lola- striking a pose

Mar Vista, California 

Our girls LOVE the park!

Venice Beach, California

Pepper, Kelly, Lola and a ball.

Lola got "the" ball.

Lola welcomes and tolerates Calley.

Calley growing up with Lola.

Lola welcomes Shelby to the family.

Lola tolerates Shelby (can you see it in her face?), along with Pepper and Kelly-

all taking over our bed!

Lola

 We are so blessed you chose us. 

We are so honored to have been your family.

We are so much better for loving you. 

~Dean, Carla and Calley Karam

Thank you for being such a wonderful sister. ~Kelly

Sorry we fought, but so happy we made up.  I love you. ~Pepper

Thank you for teaching me the ropes and for letting me snuggle with you. ~Shelby

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 453 ~ My Dreaded Little Secret...

The first time it happened I had been invited to happy hour with a friend ... when I had accepted the invite I was so gun-ho, and could not wait. 

As the day approached, I started wondering where I was going to get the money.  When I accepted the invite I figured I could afford it.  Honestly, I had even wondered if when my friend invited me if she had "invited" me or we were going to meet up and pay for our perspective tabs.

I can not tell you enough how much I hate that feeling.  Not being able to afford a simple invite... a coffee with a friend... or a cocktail at Happy Hour.  Let alone a present for a special someone's birthday... or return a kind gesture to a friend.

Needless to say, as each day got closer, my stomach started to get tight, get tense and knot up.

What did I do?  The "Friday" finally arrived... I called my friend and cancelled.  I told her I was not feeling well.

Over the summer Calley was invited to her "bestest" little friend's (and her sister's) birthday party. Although a year and a couple of months apart, her friends' parents decided to celebrate both girls birthday together.

Only problem was that it was hard enough {in our budget} for us to buy a gift for some"one", but two?  Now-a-days you can not buy a child a reasonable gift under $20-30 without it falling apart or looking cheap.

As the weeks went by and the days approached to Calley's friends' party... again my stomach started to get tight, get tense and knot up.

What do I do?  Do I let them know?  Do we show up without gifts?  Do I risk people looking at us a certain way and take a chance of Calley not being invited to parties in the future?  What a dilemma!  

What did I do?  Well, the ten days leading up to the party Calley was having "issues".  We were put in a position to tell her if she did not behave she was not going to go to her friends' party.

She didn't make the grade.

A couple of days after the party I received a text from her friends' mom... she was wondering if we were okay and if anything happened... they missed us there.  I went as far as asking when I could call and talk so that I may explain what happened... preparing myself to tell "mom" the truth.

I didn't make the call, but "mom" never text me back to let me know when I could call either.

A few weeks ago I met this really great gal at the "Y"... Calley and her children were in swimming lessons together.  

We hit it off!  She was and is an amazing gal- she's a retired Officer from the Navy, served for fifteen years.  Really impressive!! 

She invited Calley to her son's birthday party this past weekend {at a local family fun arcade/park} and then invited me to a girl's night out.

Well... knowing that our budget was very tight I hesitantly accepted the invite... sure I could have said we were busy... but I stumbled over my thoughts and words, and before I knew it I was saying how great it all sounded.

Honestly... I was somewhat hoping that I could confide in her my dreaded little secret...

... We're broke!

It didn't use to be this way.

It's been a "long row to hoe" for us ... trying to get back on our feet these past four years... and it has not been for a lack of effort either!

My husband works very hard at his job... and after he puts in 8 hours in a day there, he then is helping his parents with any repairs they need and trying to get a business with his brother off the ground.  He has at least twelve hour work days.

So... It's not for a lack of trying.

So tell me... what would you do?

For the most part people who are close to us know our predicament... so ... then end result... we don't get invited to many places... or ... the tab is paid for us.  Not a great feeling.  Not at all.  We're very grateful... but I would rather have money in my pockets and get treated out, than lint in them and get invited.  

Pride?  I don't know if it's pride... but it is a little embarrassing or sad having to explain how Dino lost his "great paying" job four years ago. 

However... I am the first to invite family and friends over to our house [in lieu of] and I will cook up a storm for them.  Somehow we can afford that.  Go figure.  Big smile.

I just don't want people to feel sorry for us.  I want to work as a team with people- anything to help... however I do not want them to pity us.

I don't want people to feel sorry for Calley either.  We do provide for her.  We have a sturdy roof over our heads, our utilities all paid, and even can pay for cable.

Calley's tummy is full... and we have manged to put together a beautiful bedroom for her with a closet full of beautiful dresses.

We cook a lot... we do a lot for our church together... and we do a lot for in-laws and spend a lot of time with them as well.  Not to mention that parks and sunsets are free.

So... do you tell people you can not afford to go?  Do you graciously decline and make up an excuse, tell them you're busy that night?  Do you get a "headache" at the last minute? OR...

Do you tell them your dreaded little secret... your budget will not allow for the expense... you're broke?

Tell me... what do you or would you tell them?  What would you like for me to tell you?  The truth?  Do I risk it?  Will you look at us differently?  

But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. ~ 1 Timothy 6:8 (NIV)

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 435 ~ #27 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 27: What's the best thing going for you right now?...

I would have to say that the best thing I have going for me right now is ...

      my family and my growing involvement in our church and community.

Seems like the more I do for my family, the more involved I get in church, the more at peace I feel.

I don't know what it is about doing for others... maybe its the feeling of gratitude from them... or the smiles on their faces when someone does something for them...  whatever it is it is making me feel AWESOOMMMMEE!!

For people that have known me for years, well, they are probably seeing a huge change in me... especially the part about being involved in church, going to church and my growing love for God.  Maybe they are even calling me a Jesus freak.  {and} That's okay with me.

I don't mean that in a snotty or snooty way... but it really is okay with me.  All I know is that I am a child of God and he loves me, forgives me, and accepts me for all my faults without scrutiny.

Besides it is such a great feeling being a part of a family that works together, hangs out together, cares for the community together and worships together.

With God's will.

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.  ~Galatians 6:10

Where I've been and where I'm going next...  

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.

Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 : Write a letter to a hero that has let you down.

Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.

Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life. 

Day 24 : Make a playlist for someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

 Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]
Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 416 ~ #9 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but drifted away.


I have two answers... 


... sure there are many friends, childhood friends, that I wish time would have stood still for... or better yet we remained as close as we used to be...


However...


Once again... after much thought and consideration... as mentioned... I have two answers...


My first answer is my parents... there was a day and time that I felt secure in their love, life was so innocent.  But starting with their separation and then their divorce... well... our family fell apart... grew apart... and was never the same again.  We definitely drifted away.


My second answer is my sons... with my sons... well there was a day and time that we were like peas and carrots... never apart... then came my separation from their father and then the divorce... well... our family fell apart... grew apart... and was never the same again.


The only difference from my parents and my sons, is unlike my parents and I... my sons and I still have a chance.  {and} I will do whatever it takes to one day have my boys back.


My parents and I... well my father passed March 31, 2006... and my mother... well she left me long ago or rather because of her OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and whatever other ailments, as well as her obsession with my sister, her bipolar behavior, her antics and ailments of her own... well let's just say that there isn't any room in her life for me, let alone my family.  So sad.


So sad indeed.  But the way I look at it is that she is the one missing out on some really good quality people- my children.


Although I am really doing my best to forgive both my parents {a constant work in progress}, my focus is and will always be my children... my sons and my daughter.


SO all the while my boys and I may be experiencing a little distance between us at the time... this is only temporary....


This too shall pass.

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. ~Psalm 127:3

what's next? ..

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 412 ~ #5 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

This is a no-brain-er!  


For as much as I think about what I would like to do in my life... well nothing else compares.

There are two things I hope to do in my life...


One... help others.  Just to be there for a fellow mom going through tough time... another woman who feels alone... to support someone in their time of need... to help another person unjustly treated... just to help one person feel better... be happier... feel loved... at least one person.


The second thing I would like to do in my life is to have all my children with me... to take a family vacation {at least a month long vacation} and spend a wonderful holiday with my sons, daughter and family.


I just can't think of a better thing to hope to do in my life...


Pure bliss.


Okay...I am going to sneak in a final thought here... about my last night's post- it does have something to do with tonight's post as well... I spoke of forgiveness.  Forgiving others to be exact.  I spoke quite generously about... point blank... forgiving all who had done me wrong.  


I would like to make this perfectly clear.  I am not doing this for "them"... I am doing this for me.  More so because I am tired of walking around having all this negativity within my soul.  I am doing this to free myself from all the wrong in the world.


I hope to be able to free myself from the "baggage" that has dragged me... the events that took the sparkle out of my eyes and took the soul out of my laughter.  


I truly hope I am able to do all these things in my life.

Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice. ~Psalm 112:5 (NIV)

what's next? ...

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to my 30 Days of Truth challenge!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.