Day 416 ~ #9 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but drifted away.


I have two answers... 


... sure there are many friends, childhood friends, that I wish time would have stood still for... or better yet we remained as close as we used to be...


However...


Once again... after much thought and consideration... as mentioned... I have two answers...


My first answer is my parents... there was a day and time that I felt secure in their love, life was so innocent.  But starting with their separation and then their divorce... well... our family fell apart... grew apart... and was never the same again.  We definitely drifted away.


My second answer is my sons... with my sons... well there was a day and time that we were like peas and carrots... never apart... then came my separation from their father and then the divorce... well... our family fell apart... grew apart... and was never the same again.


The only difference from my parents and my sons, is unlike my parents and I... my sons and I still have a chance.  {and} I will do whatever it takes to one day have my boys back.


My parents and I... well my father passed March 31, 2006... and my mother... well she left me long ago or rather because of her OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and whatever other ailments, as well as her obsession with my sister, her bipolar behavior, her antics and ailments of her own... well let's just say that there isn't any room in her life for me, let alone my family.  So sad.


So sad indeed.  But the way I look at it is that she is the one missing out on some really good quality people- my children.


Although I am really doing my best to forgive both my parents {a constant work in progress}, my focus is and will always be my children... my sons and my daughter.


SO all the while my boys and I may be experiencing a little distance between us at the time... this is only temporary....


This too shall pass.

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. ~Psalm 127:3

what's next? ..

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 414 ~ #7 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 7: Someone who has made your life living for.

Having given this much thought... I would have to say my children. 


For many years my sons gave me strength... they were and still are my reasons to live.


However I have to add that in more recent years, five and a half to be exact... I have to say that my daughter Calley has been my saving grace.


Seems that my relationship with my sons has, for a lack of a better description- has seen its better days.  I constantly have to work at it and not give up on them.  I do want to say that my eldest and I are working on reconstruct... no not reconstruct, but rebuilding our relationship.


So as I was saying, Calley has been my saving grace... because without her I don't know how I would have managed my lack of a relationship with my sons.


Finally, with my husband at my side... well let's say anyone {else} in their right mind would have left me years ago!  LOL!  In all honesty Dean has had to see me go through a lot of pain... and I thank God everyday for him.


I thank God everyday for my husband and my children.

what's next? ...

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to my 30 Days of Truth challenge!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 258 ~ Finding "Good" in the Past

Today I spent most of my day on an emotional roller coaster... some brief moments of sadness and other moments filled with gratitude.  I mean very brief moments of sadness... the moment something would come to mind, you would find me shaking it off the next.

My youngest son has been on my mind lately, more so than just being in my daily prayers... in two days, Thursday, the 23rd of February, will be his twenty-first birthday.  

Needless to say, "my life" of twenty-one years ago was on my mind today.

In his twenty- one years, my son has been through an emotional roller coaster himself.  All the unnecessary trials and tribulations that his father's divorce from me was putting our family through, were not ones that a child needs to witness.  Which is not what I wanted his childhood to be about.  

What certainly does not help how I feel is that for the past nine months, and nearly two years before that... my son and my relationship has not been what it should be...  I will not give up on how I want my life to be... which includes all my children in it... never.

So... the moment a memory would come to mind, a sad thought, I would think of a positive counter-thought... and that would be the end of that.

I needed to remind myself that was the past.  And what about the "past'?!  We can not do anything about it.  It is in the past!  Rather than turning my back on the past and completely putting it out of mind, I find the good in it, learn from it, and realize that those experiences have made me... and made me stronger.

Though twenty-one years ago I was going through some trials and tribulations myself, (marriage was already very unsteady and rocky) God literally blessed me with my son... and for that I will climb the highest mountains... go through trials and tribulations... I would do it all over again!

I love you son... to the moon and stars above!

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.  ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Blessings to all!!

107 days to go...

PS... for a, l and c.  You are my sunshine(s).

Some images courtesy of google images.  Others are marked accordingly, and are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back Life ~ Making It My Own, this blog.   All U.S Copyright laws apply.   ©

Day 232 ~ Choosing Your Battles

Back on the lighter side of life... well lighter that yesterday's subject anyway... marriage.

Yes I said  m-a-r-r-i-a-g-e.  I know and realize that for some, this may not be a lighter subject.  Could be a sore subject at that.  I know there was a day that I used to feel this way... many, many, many moons ago (first marriage).  Almost seems like a lifetime ago... geez, it was a lifetime ago!   

My first marriage was so... so militant.  Strict, could be another word.  Quite uneasy at times, and always under the gun.  Each day at about quarter to five in the evening, I would stop what I was doing and would rush to pick up the house.  Otherwise, hell was sure to break loose.

Don't get me wrong, I loved having a clean house.  My house was clean, believe me is was.  But no matter what, something would always stand out and not meet "his" standards.  

I have always been of the thought "there's a place for everything and everything has its place".  However, "he" took it took a whole new level.  

Venice, California

Fast forward to today.  

Today, I am married to my best friend.  I have never felt so at ease with anyone in my life.  Never at a loss for words.  No need to sensor myself.  There isn't a moment in the day that I do not feel that I can not be myself around Dean.

You guessed it!  Dean is the complete polar opposite of "him".  Dino, as I lovingly call him, is so laid back.  If anything, I find myself being too orderly around him.  Needless to say, that with the years together, I have toned it down quite a bit.  Even so, I still love a clean house. 

With all that said, there are days that I wonder why my wonderful husband can't put the bread back, or actually make the hamper once in a while.  My life is not as orderly as it used to be, but having lived and seen the "dark side" ... I would not have it any other way.

March 22, 2003  ~  Malibu, California

After eleven years, of which we have been married for nearly nine years, I have almost mastered the art of "choosing my battles".  Instead of getting upset each and every time something is not put away, I may make a crack about it on the tenth time or so.  

In recent years, I have taken a page out of my mother-in-law's life... just take care of it.  After all she is living with three, YES THREE men... my father-in-law and my two brother-in-laws... and she wholeheartedly takes care of all three of them without a complaint.  That's three men she is picking up after and taking care of.  I once commented to her that both my brother-in-laws were old enough to make their own beds, sorry guys.  Mom explained to me that the boys do so much for her and dad, that that's the least she could do.  Enough said.  Understood.

After some thought, you can say that I have it easy.  Especially since Calley, our five year little girl, loves taking care of her daddy too.  She really is starting to be a BIG help around the house.

My husband comes home to Calley and me every night, he is honest and caring, a hard worker with integrity and a sense of humor that doesn't stop.  He is my best friend and the love of my life.  He has always brought out the best in me.  I wouldn't trade him for the world!

So, when I see the mayonnaise left out or Dino forgot to take the trash out... I snicker and put the mayo in the fridge and I take the trash out myself.  I pick my battles.

You see there are worse things to fight about.  

A happy wife, is a happy life.  ~ many attributions for this quote

A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.  ~ author unknown 

We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck.  But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.  ~ Ellen Goodman

Blessings to all!!

133 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Images belong to Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own, and are protected by US Copyright Laws.

Day 225 ~ Vulnerability & My Family

vul·ner·a·ble    adj      \ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl, ˈvəl-nər-bəl\

Definition 

1

: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded

2

: open to attack or damage : assailable <vulnerable to criticism>

I feel that out of all the emotions a human is capable of feeling, vulnerability is one that I do not like.  Granted, there are others as well... aggression, anxiety, boredom, contempt, depression, doubt, embarrassment, envy, frustration, grief, guilt, hatred, horror, hostility, homesickness, hunger, hysteria, loneliness, paranoia, rage, regret, sadness, shame, and suffering.  Nonetheless, vulnerability takes the cake!


To avoid feeling vulnerable, I put walls up.  I'll admit it.  Especially when it came to my sister.  As I mentioned in Day 186 and Day 188, there is an unhealthy history here.  Do I blame it on my parents?  I do.   


A Parent's main responsibility is to love and keep their children safe, additionally we are to teach and mold our children to be respectable, good adults.  We want our children to be good.  Do good.  However, when the foundation of that family, the relationship of the parents themselves is not healthy in itself... well, let's just say that it is a recipe for disaster.


Most of my life, I found myself defending myself.  Defending myself against my sister.  I was the quiet one, and she ..  she always had and wanted to be the center of attention and since a toddler, was always in trouble.


I am not saying that I was a complete angel.  However, I did not start to get into trouble until I was in high school... and that only lasted a few years.   Not to mention that I ended up moving out when I was fifteen.  Yes fifteen.  It was more like running away... but any way you look at it, I was on my own (for the most part.)


I lived with different friends, finding family love and normalcy in their homes.  I had many parents, many friends, many homes.  More later on this.


Through the years, my sister and my relationship was NOT healthy.  The people that were mostly at the center of it all, were my parents.  I am not saying that it is their fault 100%... maybe more like 97%.  After all, as a parent you are to instill love into your children and teach them how to get along... as opposed to using them as pawns in your own relationship mishaps.


As time went on, I learned to protect myself.  How? I hardened my heart.  I would put walls up.  I would stay away.  Yes, I stayed away from my family.  Actually, from my sister.  If she was somewhere, I did not go.  If she showed up somewhere, I would eventually leave.  I did not give her the opportunity to hurt me.  The few times I tried to open up, I got burned.  Then when my children were born... I kept away more.  I just did not want them to see a dysfunctional family.


Fast forward to today.  I am disappointed once more.  Our visit started really nice.  As time went on, I saw how she had changed.  Or rather the person she has become.  Oh how I wanted to help her.  Make things better for her.  Then a week into our time together, she found out she had to leave just days after Christmas.  The original plan was for her to stay until February.


When I first found out, I was furious, hurt and upset.  She told me that our mother had informed her that she needed to be back home for an appeal regarding her medical disability, which had been moved up.  Funny, just as I was writing this, I realized that I have no proof of this other than her word.  What is even more funnier, is that just the day before she wanted to go back home to be with our mother because she was going to be alone on Christmas!  (This is a grown woman, not a little girl.)


What I really think that happened...  I think she got tired of my rules and wanted to go home.  RULES?!?!  In my opinion my sister has a problem with prescription drugs.  This is remnant from her being in the hospital one year earlier, and almost dying from lung embolisms and blood clots in her legs.  So... yes I did get mad at her for drinking, even smoking cigarettes!  Wouldn't you if your sister almost died a year earlier?


Then the creme de la creme happened Christmas Eve.  I was trying to put together a gift as a favor to my mother in law, my mom, and was having major computer problems.  My husband Dean, had already left for dinner two hours earlier.  I was really trying desperately to get to Christmas Eve dinner.  Calley and I were ready, as was my sister.  


While I was troubleshooting my problem, my sister started calling all of her friends etc., wishing them a Happy Christmas Eve.  Then out of no where she comes into my office and sticks her phone in my face so I can talk to her daughter.  I told her that I could not talk...  Well... ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!


I have never been this mad EVER!!  I completely lost it!!  It was as if all the anger of all the years of abuse, frustration, and our history all surfaced and took over me.  It was if I became possessed.  And, I am so sad to say that my daughter witnessed it all.  I even threw her out of my home (not to worry, after some time I asked Dean to bring her back.)  I had to re-coop, suck it all up, and be a good role model for my daughter.


When it was all said and done.. my daughter and I missed Christmas Eve dinner with our family.  Not to mention that it ended up being Dean's grandmother's last Christmas, being that she passed away New Year's eve.


All I did was pray and pray that night.  I even apologized to my sister.  We both said some pretty horrific things- I went against every fiber in my being with my behavior that night.  I encouraged us both to work through this, to strengthen our relationship.  If we were to get through this and survive, I think we could have really turned our relationship around.


Since she left, she has bee aloof.  Telling me she'd call me back and not doing so.  She has not answered any of my texts.  


I really tried.  


The crappy part of all of this, is that now my daughter does not have an aunt.  Bare in mind that I did not tell my daughter about my having a sister, until last June.  I really thought things would be different this time around.


I hate being vulnerable.  It never fails.  When you finally decided to break down, open up and let someone in... and then it backfires... not cool!  Not cool at all!  Especially since now my five year old daughter is aware of it all.


Before my sister left, with my mother in law's encouragement, I prayed for her.  I asked her to please take care of herself.  Dean and I even pleaded with her that if she continued on her same path, that we were afraid she was not going to be around long.   That we would be getting a call soon.


The only thing I can say to her now... if you love us, your children, grandchildren, and others you say you love... then why do you not love yourself enough to take care of yourself?


Lesson learned... you can not help someone that does not want to be helped.  

You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit.  ~David Ryan

As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our way.  ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Blessings to all!!

140 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Day 221 ~ Open Mouth, Insert Foot!

I feel like the BIGGEST Jack Ass ever!  

THERE I SAID IT!  

(Up until now, I have kept my blog virtually Profanity-free... but in this case, as you will soon read... well, it merits it!)

I didn't mean for tonight's post to be once again [indirectly] about my Silver Sneakers class I took at the "Y" on Thursday... but it is!  To get the full story, read about it here.  Broken down in part one and part two.

On Sundays, after church, as I once mentioned, we (My father in law's family, his siblings and their children, etc) traditionally get together for brunch... at Dean's aunt's home.  It's BYOE!  Everyone brings their own eggs.  Bring breakfast.

Each one of the families take turns cooking up their eggs...  More or less eating together, as we inadvertently take shifts gathering around the big round table (it seats ten to twelve) ... all then  eventually getting together in the living room.

So today I thought I would share.  I was sooo eager, too.  Preparing my cousin for my story, making sure everyone would hear about my experience... I proceeded to tell my story.

I had wondered why they weren't laughing.  My cousin laughed a little at my experience... however, I really did not get the reaction I had expected.  I really did think I'd have them in stitches...  

It wasn't until after I had been home for a few hours that it had dawned on me. 

[Why didn't I think about it sooner?!?  That is the $1,000,000 question]. 

I was replaying the story in my head... "... the class was full of 70 to 75 year olds..."... 

B-I-N-G-O!!

Dean's aunts and uncles are not in their 70s, they still have LOTS of time before they wear Silver Sneakers!  My father in law, however is one week away from turning 70!

OH MY GOODNESS!!  I always manage to talk before I think, especially with him.  I have eaten more of my shoes... so much co that I have a permanent taste of leather in my mouth!!

Okay.  In my defense.  My father in law, Dad, Daddy... DOES NOT LOOK ANYWHERE NEAR 70!!   And the people my Silver Sneakers aerobics class were more like 80 and up!  I do not know what I was thinking!  I guess I was trying to be nice to the Silver Sneakers regarding their age?

Well... Good thing Dad is a wonderful, handsome, really, really, young and good looking, forgiving Christian, and he won't hold it against me too long!

I love you Dad!!

It won't hurt for me to make some of my famous monkey bread he LOVES, either! 

(Thanks Sara for turning me on to the recipe!  I've really made it my own with the addition of some little extra lovin') 

~  Pillsbury's Monkey bread  ~ 

Looking back on our family's Sundays... well let's just say that I am very blessed to be a part of this really special family.  Thank you Jesus!!

A single grateful thought toward heaven is the most perfect prayer.  ~ Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.  ~  Exodus 20:12  (NIV)  

Blessings to all!!

144 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Images are courtesy of Bing images.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Day 205 ~ Out With the Old * A Look Back At 2011

SO here we are... at the end of another year.  As I sit here and look back at the entire year, only one word comes to mind... PHEW!

Seriously now, I am going to say that this year has definitely ended on a great note!!  It may have started out as a continuation of prior years, but at about half way through I made a decision that ended up changing my life forever!  Come with me and take a look see at my "condensed" life in 2011.

As I look back my January started a little rough.  I was still working at my daughter's school and had been put in several uncomfortable situations there.  The staff at the school was awesome, a couple of wrinkles here and there, but all in all I worked with some pretty great people.  Our boss on the other hand... how do they say it in the south with that naughty southern twang... God Bless her.  That is all I will say.

Our February here in El Paso started off in a cold freeze.  Our city shut down, lost power and water due to freezing temperatures.  We were in the teens for several days.  That was a real experience.  Pipes were frozen all over the city causing mayhem at local hardware stores.  Bottle water was no where to be found.  We were lucky there... when it first was starting to dip in temperature, I ran out and bought around six or seven cases.  We were set.

March, April and May went by fast being that I was buried at school.  I was extremely busy with putting out the year book, along with other presentations I had to put together for end of year activities.  And it did not help any that my year at school ended on a sour note due to issues there.  I had made it a rule of thumb not to work for another woman in prior years, what made me think this would end any different. 

Low and behold June came around.  By the time June arrived I was at a very low point, and was looking forward to our trip to Los Angeles at the end of July.  The only thing that had kept my spirits up for the past year when I was down was popping in Julie & Julia in my dvd player. 

The movie had some sort of pull on me.  I think it was the slight connection to Julie, being that I wanted to write a book (for nearly 20 years now) and she wanted to be published.  I know that wanting to write a book and wanting to be published are not exactly alike, however I felt a similarity and a pull.  

This is where unbeknownst to me at the time, I would make a decision that would turn my life around!  I decided to blog.  Although very intimidating at first, I was soothed at the thought that I would commit to doing it for a year as Julie did in the movie.

I had issues.  Unresolved issues.  Many of them.  About forty-eight years worth to be exact.  Not only that but the lack of both my sons' presence in my life has affected me as well.  I thought that by writing my blog I could somehow show my sons (Calley, other family members, and friends too) who I was.  Tell them of our past, my past, explaining who I was so they would know me one day.  At first, as I look back, I started angry.  I was hurt.  

As time went on I started to notice that there started to be a difference in how I was feeling all the way around.  I was getting all this garbage off of my chest, being fair and honest to everyone involved, but I was getting it off my chest!  It was like going to therapy everyday.  There would be a day or two I would unload and then I would feel for elated for the next few days afterwards.

in July I challenged myself to prepare for my 30 year high school reunion by writing My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge where I "extreme" dieted for 21 days. I exercised my butt off and ate healthy for three weeks and blogged about it.  I only wish I would have started it earlier.  Why?  The last week of my diet was the first week of my vacation.  Not a great ending.  I only met half of my goal.


Returning from Los Angeles in August, left me expressing my feelings about where we live, wanting to leave the area within a year.  Yet, through blogging I have also learned to communicate with my husband better.  Don't ask me how, but yes it happen.  In doing so I discovered that my husband loves it here in El Paso.  You see he did not grow up with his father or brothers... and to live here now, a handful of miles away from them... he's happy.  It's a wonderful thing to have a great family.


Following the death of our Nana August 28th, I have grown even more closer to my mom (mother in law) and dad (father in law), let alone my brother in laws... Let's just say that we are not thinking of moving any time soon. (big smile)  I have decided to permanently shelf the idea.  Having a wonderful family can be a negative, just as much as it can be a positive.  I wish I could move and take care of us all!  

This past fall has been a whirlwind.  Our family has undertaken the responsibility of getting Nana's estate taken care of, including the sale of her house and all it's contents.  This in itself was a learning experience.  Let's just say that when it comes to shopping, I always ask myself "Want or Need?"  If it's a need, we will buy the best to be able to pass it down to our children.



Since July, I had not been feeling satisfied about not reaching my goal on My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge.  It prompted me to rethink the whole dieting thing and the fact that I was not in my 20s, let alone 30's and was almost done with my 40s.  I do not have a need for being completely skinny minny, but I do want to feel and look good.  SOOooo, on the first of December I started My LifeStyle ReDesign.  A healthier approach to dieting.  Actually, it's not a diet in itself.  I have to modify the way I live a bit, get on the right track, to be the person I want to be.  Eat and live how I want and look good too.  Body, mind, soul and spirit.  



For the first time in my life, I have gotten to know who I am... and I like myself.  I have forgiven myself for mistakes I have made in my life, as I have even forgiven others as well.  This has been an enriching and enlightening experience.  I am looking forward to see what the next six months has in store for me.

Dean and Grandma Betty ~ March 2004

*** At approximately 3:15 mountain standard time on Saturday December 31st our family's matriarch, Dean's grandmother Betty Karam, became on of Jesus' angels and was reunited with our dear grandfather, her beloved Ted Karam.  God Bless you Grandma.  We will always carry you in our hearts.



2011 is the year I took back my life and am making it my own!  

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

~  Dale Evans Rogers

Blessings to all!!

160 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... first two images are property of Bing images, third property of Sony Pictures and last four are property of Carla Barila Karam, Taking Back My Life - Making It my own, My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge, My LifeStyle ReDesign.  All Copyright Laws apply.