Day 205 ~ Out With the Old * A Look Back At 2011

SO here we are... at the end of another year.  As I sit here and look back at the entire year, only one word comes to mind... PHEW!

Seriously now, I am going to say that this year has definitely ended on a great note!!  It may have started out as a continuation of prior years, but at about half way through I made a decision that ended up changing my life forever!  Come with me and take a look see at my "condensed" life in 2011.

As I look back my January started a little rough.  I was still working at my daughter's school and had been put in several uncomfortable situations there.  The staff at the school was awesome, a couple of wrinkles here and there, but all in all I worked with some pretty great people.  Our boss on the other hand... how do they say it in the south with that naughty southern twang... God Bless her.  That is all I will say.

Our February here in El Paso started off in a cold freeze.  Our city shut down, lost power and water due to freezing temperatures.  We were in the teens for several days.  That was a real experience.  Pipes were frozen all over the city causing mayhem at local hardware stores.  Bottle water was no where to be found.  We were lucky there... when it first was starting to dip in temperature, I ran out and bought around six or seven cases.  We were set.

March, April and May went by fast being that I was buried at school.  I was extremely busy with putting out the year book, along with other presentations I had to put together for end of year activities.  And it did not help any that my year at school ended on a sour note due to issues there.  I had made it a rule of thumb not to work for another woman in prior years, what made me think this would end any different. 

Low and behold June came around.  By the time June arrived I was at a very low point, and was looking forward to our trip to Los Angeles at the end of July.  The only thing that had kept my spirits up for the past year when I was down was popping in Julie & Julia in my dvd player. 

The movie had some sort of pull on me.  I think it was the slight connection to Julie, being that I wanted to write a book (for nearly 20 years now) and she wanted to be published.  I know that wanting to write a book and wanting to be published are not exactly alike, however I felt a similarity and a pull.  

This is where unbeknownst to me at the time, I would make a decision that would turn my life around!  I decided to blog.  Although very intimidating at first, I was soothed at the thought that I would commit to doing it for a year as Julie did in the movie.

I had issues.  Unresolved issues.  Many of them.  About forty-eight years worth to be exact.  Not only that but the lack of both my sons' presence in my life has affected me as well.  I thought that by writing my blog I could somehow show my sons (Calley, other family members, and friends too) who I was.  Tell them of our past, my past, explaining who I was so they would know me one day.  At first, as I look back, I started angry.  I was hurt.  

As time went on I started to notice that there started to be a difference in how I was feeling all the way around.  I was getting all this garbage off of my chest, being fair and honest to everyone involved, but I was getting it off my chest!  It was like going to therapy everyday.  There would be a day or two I would unload and then I would feel for elated for the next few days afterwards.

in July I challenged myself to prepare for my 30 year high school reunion by writing My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge where I "extreme" dieted for 21 days. I exercised my butt off and ate healthy for three weeks and blogged about it.  I only wish I would have started it earlier.  Why?  The last week of my diet was the first week of my vacation.  Not a great ending.  I only met half of my goal.


Returning from Los Angeles in August, left me expressing my feelings about where we live, wanting to leave the area within a year.  Yet, through blogging I have also learned to communicate with my husband better.  Don't ask me how, but yes it happen.  In doing so I discovered that my husband loves it here in El Paso.  You see he did not grow up with his father or brothers... and to live here now, a handful of miles away from them... he's happy.  It's a wonderful thing to have a great family.


Following the death of our Nana August 28th, I have grown even more closer to my mom (mother in law) and dad (father in law), let alone my brother in laws... Let's just say that we are not thinking of moving any time soon. (big smile)  I have decided to permanently shelf the idea.  Having a wonderful family can be a negative, just as much as it can be a positive.  I wish I could move and take care of us all!  

This past fall has been a whirlwind.  Our family has undertaken the responsibility of getting Nana's estate taken care of, including the sale of her house and all it's contents.  This in itself was a learning experience.  Let's just say that when it comes to shopping, I always ask myself "Want or Need?"  If it's a need, we will buy the best to be able to pass it down to our children.



Since July, I had not been feeling satisfied about not reaching my goal on My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge.  It prompted me to rethink the whole dieting thing and the fact that I was not in my 20s, let alone 30's and was almost done with my 40s.  I do not have a need for being completely skinny minny, but I do want to feel and look good.  SOOooo, on the first of December I started My LifeStyle ReDesign.  A healthier approach to dieting.  Actually, it's not a diet in itself.  I have to modify the way I live a bit, get on the right track, to be the person I want to be.  Eat and live how I want and look good too.  Body, mind, soul and spirit.  



For the first time in my life, I have gotten to know who I am... and I like myself.  I have forgiven myself for mistakes I have made in my life, as I have even forgiven others as well.  This has been an enriching and enlightening experience.  I am looking forward to see what the next six months has in store for me.

Dean and Grandma Betty ~ March 2004

*** At approximately 3:15 mountain standard time on Saturday December 31st our family's matriarch, Dean's grandmother Betty Karam, became on of Jesus' angels and was reunited with our dear grandfather, her beloved Ted Karam.  God Bless you Grandma.  We will always carry you in our hearts.



2011 is the year I took back my life and am making it my own!  

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

~  Dale Evans Rogers

Blessings to all!!

160 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... first two images are property of Bing images, third property of Sony Pictures and last four are property of Carla Barila Karam, Taking Back My Life - Making It my own, My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge, My LifeStyle ReDesign.  All Copyright Laws apply.

Day 14! ~ [Learning to] Letting the Chips Fall Where They May!

Today I took the let the chips fall where they may approach and left EVERYTHING in God's hands.  I learned a long, long time ago that I can not "control" the actions of others.  However, there is nothing wrong with fighting for what is yours, what you believe in or WHAT IS RIGHT!!  

I know, I was getting just a little obsessive with teaching a twenty-three year old the meaning of respecting the property of others.  However, as the day progressed the messages were coming in, slowly but surely...  and from her own family and friends.  As I read each one, the message was more or less the same... she will not give me the phone back, she did what she wanted, and no one stopped her.  

I do want to say that my efforts yesterday did not go unwarranted!  Out of the forty-nine (yes, forty-nine!) people that I contacted, I received responses from five people!  I can say that my faith in people continues to grow!  These people felt bad that their friend/family member had done what she did.  One person even told me that she would speak to her.  Well, we'll see... I won't hold my breath.  

Several of my friends suggested that I leave it to the police... I could have, they're right... BUT I had to do something about it!  Honestly, I didn't even think twice about it!  The next thing I knew I was really finding things out... it was all falling into my lap!

Then again, maybe you do not agree with what I am doing... Well.. Let me share something with you... 

Nearly three years ago, my husband and I, after seeing that the job market in Los Angeles was not panning out, we decided it would be best to start over in El Paso, Texas  [where his dad and his family lives- YES, babysitters!! just kidding ;) ]. after loosing his twenty-six year job, and needless to say its been tough getting to where we are today;  I am a [part-time] computer teacher at a small school, who is now on summer break (no pay).  and...we Thank God we were able to manage with my only working part-time.  


As things went on, my little girl missed sixty-two days of school this year because of asthma and respiratory problems due to environmental allergies (this year worse than last);  my husband, Thank God was also hired by the same school that employs me and teaches Calley~ kinda nice arrangement, huh?...  are you kidding?  No, that's not what I mean, It's cool all of us being there at one time or another.  But, seriously, life s a constant struggle... but who's complaining  ;)

With all that "said"... I also want to share with you that it took me nearly ten months to save for my phone!! Which also has a cool cover and a 8gb micro-sd card in it!  $350!! worth of savings down the toilet! NOT!!... so somehow I am compelled to get it back.

courtesy of Bing images

As I sit back and read what I have written so far... I have found IRONY in all of this... Irony?  you ask?... well the irony is that here I am basically fighting to get my phone back, and trying to teach a twenty-three year old a lesson in life ... and here I can't even have a relationship with my own son who is twenty-three years old, let alone teach him a lesson in life.

Irony, I tell you, Irony!

Did someone say something about chips or Leaving it to God?  I think that's a wonderful idea... as always I say a prayer for my sons and once again I will leave my relationship with my boys in His hands.  

By the way... IT'S BEEN FOURTEEN DAYS!!!  Love this "blogging" thing!

Blessings to all!

351 days / 50 weeks to go!!    

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 10 ~ Hmmm... I Think I May Be On to Something Here (?)

There's been a couple of times that I have mentioned that I (kinda) liked - wink, wink - blogging.  I don't know, maybe I'm onto something here?

I just realized that I have not told you what I do for a living... and please bare with me because it will make sense in the end.

Where do I start?  I just finished my second school year at a small [private] Christian school in western Texas (we moved here almost four years ago - another story, another day) and am out for summer vacation...I taught computers to 1st through 8th grade students.  

I'm pretty computer savvy... ~ thanks to working under the tutelage of my father for nearly a decade at his computer stores, "The Computer Supply" (Van Nuys and Newhall, CA) which doors closed back in 1996 more or less...  I can put together a computer system, troubleshoot it (I did sales and etc there), and love to work with software.  I am a freelance Graphic Designer and Computer Consultant, and pretty darn good with Microsoft Office.  Altogether I've been dancing with computers for twenty-six years.

But that's not all!  I have remodeled homes, done interior design work, bar-tending paid for my divorce and custody law suit, I have worked at a world famous gym among personal trainers, famous body builders, fitness models, actors and athletes, and I can run anyone's office (like nobody's business!) whether an architect, engineer, hair stylist or travel agent!  I am very organized and as mentioned in earlier posts (Day 7,) I "plan" everything.  

Above all, I am very artistic- While ceramics is my thing (here's a picture of my newest piece in progress), I also love to paint and I enjoy great gourmet food and even grow my own herbs and fruits/vegetables...~ as a result, the love of cooking has grown not only within myself, but in my four and a half year old daughter as well.

One constant I have always had in my life was writing~ even though I had taken what some would call a "long hiatus" (as described in Day 2), I have always done well at writing... and writing has been good to me.  I don't know, some would even say that they have noticed a "skip" in my step, and have even caught me humming a tune or two...

In the past week I have increasingly been researching all to do with blogging.  I now have a copyright on my blog and belong to a blogger's website.  Oh, Laws - Oh yes laws, because Bret and Kevin (who I have already mentioned in earlier blogs) would be more than happy to team up (another story, another day) against me... I am NOT as naive as I once was! I can not be held libel nor can I be accused of slander (ok, I can be accused, but I will also fight for the truth,) ... when I am writing the truth.

Therefore I will take this opportunity to re-state that fact that I will only write the facts and truths in my blog.  Even if I make myself to be the idiot~ it will be the truth.

In the last couple of days I have also been playing with the formatting of my blog, learning a little bit about the designing of blogs if you will. [This is where my experience comes in.] You may have noticed a different look, background photograph (taken by ME) of one of my favorite corners ;) and even a new title.

Did I mention that I (kinda) liked blogging?   ;)

Blessings to all.  

355 days to go.


All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 7 ~ Filled A Balloon... and I Let it Go!!

When I woke up this morning I had goals.  After all it was Day 7.. my first week of blogging! My desire was that Calley and I get our chores done early after breakfast, then have lunch, I could research whilst she napped and when she woke we would play with clay again.  I almost had every minute of the day planned.  Boy, was I set straight! 

For some reason I feel as if I took a step back today.  Nothing with Calley was going my way.  At one point my little four year old sassed me as if she was thirteen and I - I felt so defeated.  I went to pour myself a glass of lemonade, and the next thing I knew, I was thinking about how I always felt like "odd man out" or the "third wheel" all throughout school.  

Fame by David Bowie was the number one song playing on am radio (yes, "am" I think it was KJR am) in September of 1975 when I had started 7th grade.  The dust was settling after the four-year court battle my father had put my mother through.  I remember it being a big deal because my father kept telling us that he had been the thirteenth man in the state of California that had won sole custody of his children.  I'll all say about it right now is that he did whatever it took to get us from my mother, and was not nice about it.  Even if it meant marrying a former call girl to do so.

Then the "bomb" was dropped!  We were moving to the San Fernando Valley.  Oh sure it was beautiful there, orange groves for miles. "My" dilemma was that we would be moving during Christmas break, and I would start at my new school in January.  As if it wasn't bad enough moving, AGAIN, but in the middle of the school year!  As a matter of fact, by the time I started high school, I had gone to thirteen different schools.  Yes, thirteen!  Always the new girl.  Heck, by the time I finally made a friend, [because it didn't help that I had an Italian name and spoke Spanish,] we were moving again.

The first time we moved I remember feeling alone, not having a single friend.  It wasn't easy making friends where friendships were already established.  And we all know that kids aren't the nicest of the human species.. they can be downright mean!  If it wasn't my weight, it was that I was shy or my clothes, etc..  

The teasing and bullying got worse as I got older.  Especially this one girl, she tortured me every chance she got from the time I arrived in 7th grade, all the way through the last day of 9th grade.  My self-esteem did not exist by the time she was done.  For the first time in my life, I was grateful I was going to a new school in the fall... high school.  

courtesy of Bing images

When I realized I had zoned out right in the middle of this argument with my four year old, and re-lived the anxiety I felt in school, I could not allow myself to go back there anymore.  That was a long, long time ago, and there are better times to think about.  Then something my sister-in-law said to me yesterday clicked!  "...put it in a balloon and let it go... no need to think about it again..."

So, those bad times I went through.  Times I walked onto a new school campus not knowing a soul, the stares I would get or the horrible things that were said to me.  The anxiety of trying to fit in, not being one of the "popular" girls in the "cool" click or better yet being ridiculed by one of them.  Or just simply not having had a "best friends" for years.  The times I felt so alone... 

I just put it all in a balloon and I let it go!  

Blessings to all!!

358 days / 51 weeks to go.


All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied without written permission from Carla B Karam- please just ask.  All views and feelings are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.