Day 289 ~ I Choose Happiness

My lesson today was how to rise above it all!  

Let me see... "my point" at the end of last night's post was, "how we choose to handle situations that come at us is what can make or break our day."  

So today I had a few choices... 

1. cry at the sight of my new hair cut, 
2. go to another hair salon and have my hair reshaped, +number (1), 
3. spend all day trying to curl my hair, roll it and twist it until something made sense, +number (1), or 
4. as my husband suggested, be patient, hang in there, wait a couple of weeks and revisit the situation, "your hair really looks cute, besides I never told you I liked short hair...", my husband continued,  +number (1) and (3)

There were times today that number (1) felt like the only thing I could do, although at one point today I jokingly contemplated covering ALL the mirrors in the house!  As funny as that sounds, I actually entertained the idea.  However, I finally decided to play around with my hair more and take the wait and see approach, which was (3) and (4), with a touch of (1) and being very grateful for hair growing fast!... 

A few times today, I caught myself missing my hair.  It was a little bitter sweet... but I guess I must admit no regrets in my deciding to take the high road, once again.

I'll share pictures down the road... right now, it's still a little too painful to share.  lol.

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.   ~Ayn Rand  

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.   ~Norman Vincent Peale  

Blessings to all!!

76 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

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Day 286 ~ New Furniture, New Motivation! Who Knew?

Nothing like getting new furniture to get you motivated to clean up a bit!

Funny... here I've been in a nasty slump that it even made it difficult for me to get my daily chores done... then at the news of getting a new dinning set, I end up cleaning my dining room, kitchen, living room, dusted, got a couple of loads of laundry done and washed the floors!!  It was as if someone let the energizer bunny loose!

Boy if I knew that's all it would take to get me going... I would have gone out and bought new furniture sooner!  Love this endorphin like feeling!

I tell you the human brain never ceases to amaze me.  Funny how the most unsuspected things in life can trigger motivation, as if it was a much needed drug.  If I ever get into a slump again (I will avoid it all costs!), I will be sure to have my doctor prescribe me new furniture!!

Notice my clean white floors!

Once the set was in it's new home... it was like placing the cherry on top of a sundae.  It was such a nice feeling having accomplished so much in one day.  

I started to slow down a bit, looking for something else to clean yet taking into consideration how long it would take to accomplish the task.  Then my attention was taken away by Calley's Minnie Mouse voice (and yes, she does sound like Minnie Mouse)... "Mommy could we please snuggle and watch a movie ?" ... That's all it took for me to finish for the day.  

Once in snuggling position, we set to watch Hook with Robin WIlliams.  I thought it would be a great movie for Calley to see, however we needed to wait 25 minutes for it to start.  Next thing I knew I had slept through the end of the one movie, and then most of Hook.  I guess I was due for a much needed nap, or better yet a re-boost... because then Calley and I whipped up a delicious dinner.  Steak, basmati rice and a lovely salad.  

I guess you could say that my last Tuesday as a 48 year old was a good one.  

You are the embodiment of the information you choose to accept and act upon. To change your circumstances you need to change your thinking and subsequent actions.   ~Adlin Sinclair

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity.  ~ Bo Bennett 

Blessings to all!!

79 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

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Day 285 ~ YES! ... She's Ba-aack

Today is the last Monday I will ever be 48 ! 

YES!!  She's Ba-ack!  

After a month or so, okay maybe two or three (wink, wink) months, [I have to be honest here] of being taken over by my crazy twin (Kinda like Vicky and Nicky on One Life to Live or Jess and Tess... exactly!I  OR one better... Kate and Connie on General Hospital).  Seems like D.I.D is popular in daytime Soaps.  

Actually I probably should not joke about this.  Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D), originally known as Multiple Personality Disorder, is a serious mental disorder.  After doing a quick search on this disorder, and 40,000,000 results later...  I would have to say that this is no joking matter.  Mental Disorders are no laughing matter.  The fact that my mother has had O.C.D for the past forty+ years, and my sister is Bi-Polar... and I am not able to have healthy relationships with them....   Well I would have to say, that I am blessed to have the mind that I do!!

Today was a very productive day.  I think the trick behind it all, for me was... DO NOT SIT DOWN ONCE YOU START!  Basically don't think about being busy, just do it.

I made it a point last night that when I woke up this morning, I was to change what I have been doing (the last several months).  I have to !   Otherwise... nothing will change. 

Sooo... that's what I did today.  I gave myself about a half an hour of waking up time, another forty-five minutes for checking me email, comments, stats, blog hopping and that was it.  I was off and running!  Having Calley feeling better, made it easy to get us up and going.  

Having Calley sick most of the last month and a half had us snuggling first thing in the morning for a longer than usual.  We like watching the end of Good Morning America (which gives us the weather for the day.)  When Calley is sick, she wants to be held and cuddled.  It makes her feel better.  

As I have mentioned in earlier posts, my Calley is a very unique, curious, and a "hands on" little girl.   If I do not snuggle and hang out with her, as she starts feeling better she'll start getting into trouble.   My baby girl is nothing like her brothers... we have to be doing something together at all times.  Let me put it to you this way, if all of a sudden I notice that she's not around AND it's quiet... well I can guarantee you that she is into something!

I must finish tonight's post by thanking you (YES AGAIN!)... my friends, fellow blog hoppers and frequent readers for all your wonderful comments.  Your words left a wonderful impression on me.  They were loving, supportive, encouraging, and best of all ... thought provoking.  Your words were inspiring and above all.... M O T I V A T I N G ! ! ! 

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! 

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.  ~Jean Baptiste Massieu, translated from French

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.  ~Confucius 

Blessings to all!!

80 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Some images courtesy of google and bing images.  U.S Copyright laws may apply.  ©

Day 280 ~ No Sugar Coating Here!

I wish there was something to dig me out of this pit I have dug for myself.  Somehow, don't ask me how because I don't know how... but, I manage to hide it from Calley... however, I know that things all the way around, could be better.

I'm in what some people say, a "slump".  Do I want to be in this "slump"?  No, I do not!  However, I am having a horrible time trying to even connect.  I've been doing a minimal amount of housework, laundry, dishes, meals, and even minimal social networking!  I have hardly promoted my blog this week.

No, my house is not a complete disaster.  But, it's not at its normal and usual sparkly self.  I guess that's one good thing... at least I am still keeping up with daily chores, minimal (lol) of course, and I make it a point of keeping my sink clean and making my bed each day is a must!

What have I been doing, beside feeling sorry for myself?   because I am just not getting "it"... I have been using Calley as an excuse.  I have been spending a lot of one on one time with her.  Coloring, watching classic Disney movies, schooling, and taking care of her while she has been sick.  Quite honestly, she is loving all the attention.

Another thing that has been a constant, a way of release, self-therapy if you will, something to look forward to... has been my blogging.  I refuse to quit on this.  It is not an option not to write my daily post.  Even if I was not in the "mood", like tonight, I forced myself to write at least one line.  Funny, I always end up with more than one line.  wink, wink.

At the beginning, I gave you all my word that I would be honest and not sugar coat anything... well this is me being a little depressed, somewhat disappointed, having a desire of wanting more to life, and my realizing that I want a purpose!  That's It !!  I want a purpose!   

I want to feel a passion for something... I want that to be my purpose... I want this purpose to be like my dream come true.  I want to feel that desire... the fire in me.  As if I am trying to create "the" perfect masterpiece.  Is that too much to ask?

I think not!  I will not give up!  I have to set an example for my daughter, for my children.  I leave it in your hands, my Lord.  Amen.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.   ~ Matthew 7:7  (NIV)

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  ~ 1 John 5:14 (NIV) 

Blessings to all!!

85 days / 12 weeks to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Some images courtesy of google and bing images.  U.S Copyright laws may apply.  ©

Day 279 ~ Something's Gotta Give

After a deep sigh and a good roll of my eyeballs, I finally am able to start... I was going to say typing away because it seems so natural to say so (at least for me) ... but I guess keyboarding away would be more appropriate now-a-days?  For some reason it just doesn't roll off the tongue as naturally... to me anyways.

Today was a day of reflection for me.  Reflecting upon myself that is.

What prompted this?

I watched Something's Gotta Give, with Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Keanu Reeves and Amanda Pete... as well as other greats.  As the movie began and I began to learn who the characters were being portrayed and their accomplishments... I was forced to look at myself [in the mirror] and be 100% honest with myself.  

Diane Keaton is an all time favorite of mine.  Actress, and woman of many accomplishments in her own right!  Her character, Erica Barry, in this movie was an accomplished writer, with an adult daughter, portrayed by Amanda Pete, who also was a successful woman herself.

As I honestly was forced to look at myself, first off I can tell you that my best accomplishments are my three children.  I am truly blessed.  No matter what.  Other than that, I have a list of accomplishments (or rather jobs) that I have under my belt... yet I am master of none.  I'm really down on myself because i can not decide on what "dream" to follow.

I don't know if you understand.  I don't know if it's my not being motivated...(let's call it what it is)... or if it's not believing in myself in order to follow through on my ideas?  I am dumbfounded.  I just do not understand what is holding me back.  What is it that I am I allowing to keep me from getting motivated?  

I feel as if my candle has been blown out.  I don't know what other better way of explaining the emptiness I feel.  I want to be driven to do the things I am suppose to be doing.  I want to be driven, period.

To be very honest with you, the fact that my birthday is a little over a week away... well let's just say... I am not welcoming "my" special day with the same open arms of years gone by.  Why?... well... (as I take a big swallow) ... I turning forty-nine... which then begins the count down to the BIG FIVE-O!

Having the half of century milestone around the corner, has me examining my life... and my accomplishments...

I need to get out of this rut I am in.  I need to think of something big to do.  This is for myself.  I need to have something positive to look forward to... to take the focus off of "the" approaching milestone.

I just do not want to have another gloomy day tomorrow as I did today.  I don't know that I will become the play-write that Diane Keaton's character is portrayed to be... however.... I need to look for my "own" fire.

I do not want to openly profess that I am going to do something... even though I really want to do something.  However... I am going to toss this idea around and see if I can come up with something by my birthday, an idea that will turn my engine on and get me going!  As the title implies... Something's gotta give!   

Marin: Are you crying? 
Erica Barry: Yeah. It's my new thing. I've gotten abnormally brilliant at it. 
Marin: Why? What is it? 
Erica Barry: I'm in love. Ain't it great? Seems like I gotta learn how to that... love-them-and-leave-them stuff, you know? 
Marin: Oh mom, I hate this. Now do you get my theory about all this? You gotta self-protect. 
Erica Barry: You don't really buy this stuff you say, do you? You don't actually think that you can outsmart getting hurt? 
Marin: I think it's worth trying. 
Erica Barry: Listen to me. You can't hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out... maybe you'll become unglued? It's just not a way to live. 
Marin: Are you telling me this is good? What's happened to you? 
Erica Barry: I think you should consider the possibility that you and I are more alike than you realize. I let someone in, and I had the time of my life. 
Marin: I've never had the time of my life. 
Erica Barry: I know, baby. And I say this from the deepest part of my heart. What are you waiting for? 

Scene from "Something's Gotta Give" 

Blessings to all!!

86 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Some images courtesy of google and bing images.  U.S Copyright laws may apply.  ©

Day 236 ~ Paying It Forward

My day started no different from any other, grabbing my tea, getting Calley all set with her breakfast, and then off to check my daily email and such.  

My "and such" consists of checking facebook and my blogs for comments.  Having said that, today's facebook messages were quite inspiring.  After reading what all my friends had to say, I sincerely felt blessed.  

I feel so blessed to have such insightful friends.  Friends, who are no different than me, that find comfort and motivation through words.  Thank you.

Needless to say... I had a fantabulous day!  Sooo... I would like to pass those same words that inspired my day... that gave me an "AHA!" moment... that made me feel so wonderful onto you, in hopes that your tomorrow will be as wonderful as my today was.

I believe everything happens for a reason!  People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right.  You believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no on but yourself, and sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.  ~  Marilyn Monroe

The struggles you are facing today is developing in you the strength you will need tomorrow.  ~ unknown author

Release from within you all bitterness and resentment.  Affirm that you are totally willing to freely forgive everyone.  If you think of anyone who may have harmed you in any way at any point in your life, you now bless them with love and release them.  Dissolving resentment is highly important.  Trust yourself.  You are safe.  You are motivated by love.  ~ Louise L Hay

You can sit there forever. lamenting about how bad you've been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past.  Forgive yourself, then move on.  ~ Dr. Wayne W Dyer

Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Trust is gained, and Loyalty is returned.  ~ unknown author

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.  ~ William Gibson

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life.  Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.  ~ author unknown

You can live in the past and may be miserable.  Or, you can live in the now and make it better than it ever was.  ~ Billie Jean King

Let God work on those around you, our task is to work on ourselves.  ~ Mark Brown

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.  ~ Wayne Dyer 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  ~ John 3:16 (NIV)

Blessings to all!!

129 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Image(s) courtesy of google images.

Day 143 ~ Three Must Haves

Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, set goals and charge after them in an unstoppable manner. ~ Les Brown

Successful people do all the things unsuccessful people don't want to do.  ~ John Paul Jones DeJoria

Be thankful what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.  ~ Oprah Winfrey

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.  ~ Colossians 3:15

Blessings to all!!

222 days to go...


All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 100 ~ Where is the Light Switch?

It's been one hundred days since I started blogging... I've taken a look back at my blog and seen how much it has evolved.  

A few days ago I was so excited and filled with anticipation...

However... because of the different things that have transpired in the past few days... I now find myself in a very dark place.


I find it so hard to believe, how for some people the sky can fall on top of them... but somehow they find the strength, courage and drive to move on with their lives.


As I sit here and cry while I write my post, I ask you .... How do you do it?  Where do you find the strength, even the courage to move forward?


I am really trying very hard to let go of my past... at least the parts of it that haunt me.  


As a start, I have to accept that my expectations of what my mother should be, are not only too high, but she is not capable of filling those shoes.  However, those shoes I will fill for my daughter and sons.  As for everything else to do with this... it is now in a balloon.

2003 ~ Seattle, Wa

Logan; oh my beautiful child... I pray that God will guide you to do the right things in life, and that maybe one day [soon] you will return to me.


I pray that I can find the strength and courage to walk out of this darkness I have become so accustomed to... 


I have desires, and goals I want to meet.  I just hope that something will happen soon, and my heart will light up once again.


One thing is for sure, I won't give up... I know somehow, somewhere and at some point I will find that darn light switch.

I know I am worth healing.   ~  Louise L. Hay

As I love and accept myself exactly as I am, right here and right now with all my so-called flaws and imperfections, I find it easier to accept others in the same way.  I am learning to release the  need to control others and allow them the freedom to be who they are.  I am learning to create peace within and am doing the best I can with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness that I have at this time.  ~ Louise L. Hay

 

Blessings to all!!


265 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.  

Day 93 ~ Perseverance...

So ... something my father-in-law, Ferris, said the other day in passing that has been popping in and out of my thoughts for the past few days... "you have to stick at something, give it a chance in order for it to work..." ... something to that effect...

Well... I just don't know... there are instances, that I'm sure you may find familiar, that have happened to me, such as... looking hindsight and realizing that you should have quit way back before things went a mock OR quitting something at the sign of trouble and then seeing if you would have stuck it out things could have been better.

So ... which way is it?  Do you quit while you're ahead... OR ... do you stick it out in hopes of a better tomorrow?  Is one way more optimistic than the other? ... OR ... are we looking at the glass half full here.

I think that either way, as long as you keep trying, moving forward... and you do not stop believing, you are ahead of the game.

I have had quite a few let downs in my life, but definitely not for lack of trying.  I may have slowed down a bit at times... maybe even gotten sidetracked... but my final goals have remained the same and all I've had to do is remind myself what it is I want out of life!  

Then before I know it... I'm back on track!

Perseverance is a great element of success.  If you knock enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.  ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.  ~Confucius

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.    ~ author unknown (1840)

Blessings to all!




272 days to go

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 73 ~ With Implementation There Are Goals...

I feel as I am on the right track now.

courtesy of Bing images

After a few changes, (I even dove into my Feng Shui books for a little placement assistance,) and I am feeling so much better.

I am starting to come to the determination that as long as I do not give something much thought, other than initial processing, acceptance, and implementation measures, and go for it!... this is the key with me.

The moment I start to think about something... it turns into dwelling on something...  I end up beating it to death and get nowhere!  and so far that has not worked for me.

One of my favorite Albert Einstein quotes comes to mind...

courtesy of Bing images

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

There's a reason as to how and why this quote hits home with many of us... maybe because it is proven absolutely correct by millions of people on a daily basis... 

Sooooo...

The buck stops here!!!  Crazy I'm not, and I am not stupid either!!

It's time to start putting a different twist to my life... as the ol' saying goes...

It's never too late to be who you might have been.  ~  George Eliot

Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive.   ~Lucy MacDonald

Blessings to all!!

292 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.