Day 241 ~ ...When I Grew Up...

Friday, October 13, 2006

Me....    "Calley...  when I was a little girl, I would let anyone who asked know that all I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy."

Calley...    "You didn't want to be a princess?"

Me...    "Being a princess did not matter.  Having a beautiful family and living happily ever after did."

Calley...    "Mommy... you didn't want to be a princess?"

Me...    "No, honey.  Being a princess did not matter to me.  Loving you, Addison and Logan is all that matters to me.  All I ever wanted was to be a mommy, having you, taking care of you, watching you grow, and having you call me mommy.  That's what makes me happy.  and... If I get a chance to wear a beautiful dress and look like a princess... well that's a bonus."

Friday, November 25, 2011

Calley...    "But, mommy... you look like a princess...

Me...    "I love you more than life."

Calley...    "You are my princess."

Me...    "I am blessed."

Calley...    "Mommy, I am blessed too." 

I can not wait to see the woman Calley grows into.  If the person she is at the age of five is any indication... she will grow into an amazing woman.  I am truly blessed.  ~  Carla Barila Karam

  

Blessings to all!!

124 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Images property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own... all copyright laws apply.

Day 237 ~ I Forgave Him Because I Had To

ON OFF ON OFF ON OFF... I have literally been staring at a blinking cursor for the last two hours.  I have been sitting in a trans just thinking about my sons.  They are grown up.  24, and in twenty-three days my youngest of my two will be 21.  Boy do I miss them.  

It's been a while since I have reminisced about my boys of when they were little.  We were inseparable up until my eldest son turned six.  Breaks my heart to even think about the years we struggled to be together, while their father manipulated and calculated ... that's when all hell broke loose in my marriage to their father.  That's all I'll say right now.  Ouch.  Still is very painful, even after all this time.

I forgave myself a long time ago for my part in it all.  I do want to say, that even though I hate what their father did to me and I rip on "that" marriage, I did love that man once.  I was in love with him.

There were good times... and then there were bad times.  Regardless, I took our marriage serious and was true to him, and our marriage until the end.  There's so much a person can take.

My funny Valentine'  ~ February 1994

There were many things that went wrong with it... but when trust went out the window, that was it.  We both failed.  Sad thing is that we failed our sons above all.  He failed for keeping them from their mother.  I failed for allowing it all to happen.

Never the less... that marriage ended December of 1993, eighteen years ago and "that" man still can't let it go.  He has never encouraged a relationship between my sons and me... actually quite the opposite.  


It may seem as if I can not let it go, not true.  I let go a long time ago.  I wished him happiness a long time ago.  I had to start my life over again, a long time ago.  I found new love, a long time ago.  

I am not writing this to bash him.  After all he is the father of my sons.  But, that is where is stops.  I no longer consider him (and this will be the one and only time you will hear me say it) "my ex-husband".  That will be the last time you read that in print.  He is nothing to "me" now.  I forgave him, because I had to as a good Christian and that's it.  I know I am being harsh or hostile toward him, and that in itself is not Christian... but I am working on it.  

Nevertheless, I miss my sons so much.   The past is the past, and must remain there.  We can't do anything about it.

Tomorrow?  Well tomorrow, I will always be here for you.  and... Tomorrow will be awesome!  


I trust in you God.

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  John 15:7 (NIV)

Blessings to all!!

128 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Image(s) courtesy of google images.

Day 225 ~ Vulnerability & My Family

vul·ner·a·ble    adj      \ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl, ˈvəl-nər-bəl\

Definition 

1

: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded

2

: open to attack or damage : assailable <vulnerable to criticism>

I feel that out of all the emotions a human is capable of feeling, vulnerability is one that I do not like.  Granted, there are others as well... aggression, anxiety, boredom, contempt, depression, doubt, embarrassment, envy, frustration, grief, guilt, hatred, horror, hostility, homesickness, hunger, hysteria, loneliness, paranoia, rage, regret, sadness, shame, and suffering.  Nonetheless, vulnerability takes the cake!


To avoid feeling vulnerable, I put walls up.  I'll admit it.  Especially when it came to my sister.  As I mentioned in Day 186 and Day 188, there is an unhealthy history here.  Do I blame it on my parents?  I do.   


A Parent's main responsibility is to love and keep their children safe, additionally we are to teach and mold our children to be respectable, good adults.  We want our children to be good.  Do good.  However, when the foundation of that family, the relationship of the parents themselves is not healthy in itself... well, let's just say that it is a recipe for disaster.


Most of my life, I found myself defending myself.  Defending myself against my sister.  I was the quiet one, and she ..  she always had and wanted to be the center of attention and since a toddler, was always in trouble.


I am not saying that I was a complete angel.  However, I did not start to get into trouble until I was in high school... and that only lasted a few years.   Not to mention that I ended up moving out when I was fifteen.  Yes fifteen.  It was more like running away... but any way you look at it, I was on my own (for the most part.)


I lived with different friends, finding family love and normalcy in their homes.  I had many parents, many friends, many homes.  More later on this.


Through the years, my sister and my relationship was NOT healthy.  The people that were mostly at the center of it all, were my parents.  I am not saying that it is their fault 100%... maybe more like 97%.  After all, as a parent you are to instill love into your children and teach them how to get along... as opposed to using them as pawns in your own relationship mishaps.


As time went on, I learned to protect myself.  How? I hardened my heart.  I would put walls up.  I would stay away.  Yes, I stayed away from my family.  Actually, from my sister.  If she was somewhere, I did not go.  If she showed up somewhere, I would eventually leave.  I did not give her the opportunity to hurt me.  The few times I tried to open up, I got burned.  Then when my children were born... I kept away more.  I just did not want them to see a dysfunctional family.


Fast forward to today.  I am disappointed once more.  Our visit started really nice.  As time went on, I saw how she had changed.  Or rather the person she has become.  Oh how I wanted to help her.  Make things better for her.  Then a week into our time together, she found out she had to leave just days after Christmas.  The original plan was for her to stay until February.


When I first found out, I was furious, hurt and upset.  She told me that our mother had informed her that she needed to be back home for an appeal regarding her medical disability, which had been moved up.  Funny, just as I was writing this, I realized that I have no proof of this other than her word.  What is even more funnier, is that just the day before she wanted to go back home to be with our mother because she was going to be alone on Christmas!  (This is a grown woman, not a little girl.)


What I really think that happened...  I think she got tired of my rules and wanted to go home.  RULES?!?!  In my opinion my sister has a problem with prescription drugs.  This is remnant from her being in the hospital one year earlier, and almost dying from lung embolisms and blood clots in her legs.  So... yes I did get mad at her for drinking, even smoking cigarettes!  Wouldn't you if your sister almost died a year earlier?


Then the creme de la creme happened Christmas Eve.  I was trying to put together a gift as a favor to my mother in law, my mom, and was having major computer problems.  My husband Dean, had already left for dinner two hours earlier.  I was really trying desperately to get to Christmas Eve dinner.  Calley and I were ready, as was my sister.  


While I was troubleshooting my problem, my sister started calling all of her friends etc., wishing them a Happy Christmas Eve.  Then out of no where she comes into my office and sticks her phone in my face so I can talk to her daughter.  I told her that I could not talk...  Well... ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!


I have never been this mad EVER!!  I completely lost it!!  It was as if all the anger of all the years of abuse, frustration, and our history all surfaced and took over me.  It was if I became possessed.  And, I am so sad to say that my daughter witnessed it all.  I even threw her out of my home (not to worry, after some time I asked Dean to bring her back.)  I had to re-coop, suck it all up, and be a good role model for my daughter.


When it was all said and done.. my daughter and I missed Christmas Eve dinner with our family.  Not to mention that it ended up being Dean's grandmother's last Christmas, being that she passed away New Year's eve.


All I did was pray and pray that night.  I even apologized to my sister.  We both said some pretty horrific things- I went against every fiber in my being with my behavior that night.  I encouraged us both to work through this, to strengthen our relationship.  If we were to get through this and survive, I think we could have really turned our relationship around.


Since she left, she has bee aloof.  Telling me she'd call me back and not doing so.  She has not answered any of my texts.  


I really tried.  


The crappy part of all of this, is that now my daughter does not have an aunt.  Bare in mind that I did not tell my daughter about my having a sister, until last June.  I really thought things would be different this time around.


I hate being vulnerable.  It never fails.  When you finally decided to break down, open up and let someone in... and then it backfires... not cool!  Not cool at all!  Especially since now my five year old daughter is aware of it all.


Before my sister left, with my mother in law's encouragement, I prayed for her.  I asked her to please take care of herself.  Dean and I even pleaded with her that if she continued on her same path, that we were afraid she was not going to be around long.   That we would be getting a call soon.


The only thing I can say to her now... if you love us, your children, grandchildren, and others you say you love... then why do you not love yourself enough to take care of yourself?


Lesson learned... you can not help someone that does not want to be helped.  

You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit.  ~David Ryan

As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our way.  ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Blessings to all!!

140 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Day 205 ~ Out With the Old * A Look Back At 2011

SO here we are... at the end of another year.  As I sit here and look back at the entire year, only one word comes to mind... PHEW!

Seriously now, I am going to say that this year has definitely ended on a great note!!  It may have started out as a continuation of prior years, but at about half way through I made a decision that ended up changing my life forever!  Come with me and take a look see at my "condensed" life in 2011.

As I look back my January started a little rough.  I was still working at my daughter's school and had been put in several uncomfortable situations there.  The staff at the school was awesome, a couple of wrinkles here and there, but all in all I worked with some pretty great people.  Our boss on the other hand... how do they say it in the south with that naughty southern twang... God Bless her.  That is all I will say.

Our February here in El Paso started off in a cold freeze.  Our city shut down, lost power and water due to freezing temperatures.  We were in the teens for several days.  That was a real experience.  Pipes were frozen all over the city causing mayhem at local hardware stores.  Bottle water was no where to be found.  We were lucky there... when it first was starting to dip in temperature, I ran out and bought around six or seven cases.  We were set.

March, April and May went by fast being that I was buried at school.  I was extremely busy with putting out the year book, along with other presentations I had to put together for end of year activities.  And it did not help any that my year at school ended on a sour note due to issues there.  I had made it a rule of thumb not to work for another woman in prior years, what made me think this would end any different. 

Low and behold June came around.  By the time June arrived I was at a very low point, and was looking forward to our trip to Los Angeles at the end of July.  The only thing that had kept my spirits up for the past year when I was down was popping in Julie & Julia in my dvd player. 

The movie had some sort of pull on me.  I think it was the slight connection to Julie, being that I wanted to write a book (for nearly 20 years now) and she wanted to be published.  I know that wanting to write a book and wanting to be published are not exactly alike, however I felt a similarity and a pull.  

This is where unbeknownst to me at the time, I would make a decision that would turn my life around!  I decided to blog.  Although very intimidating at first, I was soothed at the thought that I would commit to doing it for a year as Julie did in the movie.

I had issues.  Unresolved issues.  Many of them.  About forty-eight years worth to be exact.  Not only that but the lack of both my sons' presence in my life has affected me as well.  I thought that by writing my blog I could somehow show my sons (Calley, other family members, and friends too) who I was.  Tell them of our past, my past, explaining who I was so they would know me one day.  At first, as I look back, I started angry.  I was hurt.  

As time went on I started to notice that there started to be a difference in how I was feeling all the way around.  I was getting all this garbage off of my chest, being fair and honest to everyone involved, but I was getting it off my chest!  It was like going to therapy everyday.  There would be a day or two I would unload and then I would feel for elated for the next few days afterwards.

in July I challenged myself to prepare for my 30 year high school reunion by writing My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge where I "extreme" dieted for 21 days. I exercised my butt off and ate healthy for three weeks and blogged about it.  I only wish I would have started it earlier.  Why?  The last week of my diet was the first week of my vacation.  Not a great ending.  I only met half of my goal.


Returning from Los Angeles in August, left me expressing my feelings about where we live, wanting to leave the area within a year.  Yet, through blogging I have also learned to communicate with my husband better.  Don't ask me how, but yes it happen.  In doing so I discovered that my husband loves it here in El Paso.  You see he did not grow up with his father or brothers... and to live here now, a handful of miles away from them... he's happy.  It's a wonderful thing to have a great family.


Following the death of our Nana August 28th, I have grown even more closer to my mom (mother in law) and dad (father in law), let alone my brother in laws... Let's just say that we are not thinking of moving any time soon. (big smile)  I have decided to permanently shelf the idea.  Having a wonderful family can be a negative, just as much as it can be a positive.  I wish I could move and take care of us all!  

This past fall has been a whirlwind.  Our family has undertaken the responsibility of getting Nana's estate taken care of, including the sale of her house and all it's contents.  This in itself was a learning experience.  Let's just say that when it comes to shopping, I always ask myself "Want or Need?"  If it's a need, we will buy the best to be able to pass it down to our children.



Since July, I had not been feeling satisfied about not reaching my goal on My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge.  It prompted me to rethink the whole dieting thing and the fact that I was not in my 20s, let alone 30's and was almost done with my 40s.  I do not have a need for being completely skinny minny, but I do want to feel and look good.  SOOooo, on the first of December I started My LifeStyle ReDesign.  A healthier approach to dieting.  Actually, it's not a diet in itself.  I have to modify the way I live a bit, get on the right track, to be the person I want to be.  Eat and live how I want and look good too.  Body, mind, soul and spirit.  



For the first time in my life, I have gotten to know who I am... and I like myself.  I have forgiven myself for mistakes I have made in my life, as I have even forgiven others as well.  This has been an enriching and enlightening experience.  I am looking forward to see what the next six months has in store for me.

Dean and Grandma Betty ~ March 2004

*** At approximately 3:15 mountain standard time on Saturday December 31st our family's matriarch, Dean's grandmother Betty Karam, became on of Jesus' angels and was reunited with our dear grandfather, her beloved Ted Karam.  God Bless you Grandma.  We will always carry you in our hearts.



2011 is the year I took back my life and am making it my own!  

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

~  Dale Evans Rogers

Blessings to all!!

160 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... first two images are property of Bing images, third property of Sony Pictures and last four are property of Carla Barila Karam, Taking Back My Life - Making It my own, My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge, My LifeStyle ReDesign.  All Copyright Laws apply.

Day 196 ~ From Our Home To Yours

In tonight's post, I would like to share with you how my family has been spending this Christmas season.  From our home to yours we wish you the best this Christmas and all year long.  For our love ones no longer with us, we will always hold you in our hearts and minds.  

God bless us everyone ...

I think we, Calley and I, pretty much started baking the day after Thanksgiving, and it has been bliss ever since!  Above we were baking our famous Oatmeal/Raisin/Pecan cookies... one word ... N-U-M-M-Y!  Below, our Christmas sugar cookies.. mm..mm..good!

While decorating our family Christmas tree, we stopped for a quick kodak moment, I should actually say, for a Cyber-shot moment..  (wink, wink)  

I am in BIG trouble!  I must say that Calley can be really bossy.  She knows how she likes things... down to where the ornaments should go!  Not a good sign.  Note to self... nip Calley's take charge attitude in the butt immediately (well maybe just a little, I do want her to be a leader-  we'll have to work on this one)!!

WOW!!  My baby is growing up!  (so sad.)  Well, she certainly is fun!  She was so happy to see Santa.  She asked him if she could tell him what she wanted for Jesus' birthday.  That's my girl!   

Calley has certainly made Christmas very special this year.  At five years old, she is very involved and wants to help with everything.  She is always showing us what she can do, and asks if we are proud of her, which of course we are.  She really is an amazing little girl, even if she is hard to keep up with half of the time.  (wink, wink) 

                                                               

              

Calley has had a hand in everything.  She was having such fun that she put the stockings on for shoes, Santa's beard and hat. (above left)  Calley even helped folding the hand towels in her bathroom, and placing them just so.  

When it came to making our Christmas wreath, I really enjoyed her reaction.  We first lined up all of our pieces we needed for the project, teaching her what everything was as we went along.  First, I took the ribbon and wrapped it around the wreath, then added the pines and glued the ornaments on.  Calley was in awe as she watched it come together.  Finally... this was really cute... as I picked up the ribbon, I twisted it, looped it, and twisted it, over and over again.  I repeated the twisting and looping several times... until.... VioLa!  With a couple of little snips on the ends, I had a beautiful bow.  All the while Calley was saying...  "ooo... oh wait... ooo... wait...oooooo mommmy.  WOW!"   

Nothing like a day at the park... I love to watch Calley run all over and get her "energy" out of her system.  This time, I was able to relax and take pictures while my sister did all the chasing.  She could not keep up with Calley!  (lol)  We returned all tuckered out, even me.  (big smile)

When Calley and I cook, we have our little routine.  Calley helps me collect the ingredients for the Creamy Cilantro dip for my 1st Annual Karam Family Christmas Spa Day, we line them up and prep them according to quantity needed.  And... VioLa!  

From here on out we'll be making lots of holiday treats, dishes and etc... we'll share some of the recipes, and some are just special for our family.  I'm sure you understand.  

A Christmas Prayer 

Loving Father, help us to remember the birth of Jesus, that we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and the worship of the wise men. 

Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world.  Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting.  Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts. 

May the Christmas morning make us happy to be Thy children, and the Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake. Amen!   

~ Robert Louis Stevenson

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing
...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans, 

...   our little girl we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

169 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.

Day 195 ~ A Family of Beauties!

Today was quite a treat.  My wonderful mother-in-law, Gene, whom I lovingly refer to as Mom, treated me to a special day.  And... what a great afternoon it was!

Karam Family Tree.  Seated on the couch is my mom Gene, me, Hailey, Aunt Nora (Lindsey's mother-in-law); on the right, seated above one another is cousin Kenya (Hailey's mom,) Aunt Sue (Kenya, Salena and Keturah's mom,) cousin Salena; seated in front is cousin Keturah, and front right is cousin Lindsey.

All the women in our family, actually- we were shy my awesome sister-in-law Kim (who lives in Austin and is not arriving until the wee hours of the 24th,) beautiful cousin Leta (who lives in New Mexico, who sadly will not be joining us this Christmas,) beautiful cousin Beverly and Heidi (who live in Phoenix, and sadly will not be here this Christmas,) and our family matriarch, Dean's grandmother Betty (Grandma is in quite the delicate state now-a-days and is not able to leave the house,) had our First Annual Karam Family Christmas Spa Day!  

Many thanks to one of our wonderful family's Event Coordinators, our wonderful cousin Salena, [who by day, as a top local attorney, fights for the rights of good citizens against corrupt corporate villains, and on her spare time has a passion for fun; participating in 5k runs (Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trots;) sometimes while walking is Fighting against Alzheimer's disease; Scavenger Hunts for all causes; most times she is accompanied by her two companions, Dojee and the infamous PD (don't ask about the name, and I hope I got the spelling right,) all the whilst making sure all animals are loved in a warm home and well taken care of.  Thank you Salena for once again coordinating such a great event for our family... another wonderful moment to be cherished as a great Karam Family memory.

We were all asked to bring a snack to share.  I chose to cut up a variety of fresh veggies, accompanied by a Creamy Cilantro Dip.  Needless to say we had so much delicious food; from sandwiches, to meat and cheese trays, delicious caprese salad appetizer, cookies and Wine!  So funny, because we all watch what we eat, yet we all brought tooo much food!  too funny!  But it was good!!

We all were treated to facials, pedis and a half hour massage!!  We were all in heaven!!  A big shout out goes to Christine for a fabulous pedicure (I just know you did great on your final!,) Denise for a massage that was out of this world (I want to book a massage party!,) and Jesse for a facial that left me glowing!!, all of N Dulge in El Paso.  Thank you!  You all made me feel like a princess today!  

This place is awesome, they have a private floor where our party gathered, laughed, ate and drank wine in between our wonderful treats!  Go by on a Tuesday for a manicure and pedicure special!  Tell them I sent you.  They will even greet you for your appointment, at the door with a glass of wine!

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~  Unknow author

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.  ~Joyce Brothers 

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.  ~ Barbara Bush 

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 
...   seven days of singing
...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans, 

...   our little girl we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

170 days weeks to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.

Day 186 ~ It Will Happen!

Calley my li'l helper,
always on my left 

I feel very blessed that I have Dean and Calley in my life.  I feel blessed that each day gives me the opportunity to show them how much I love them.  Sure I tell them as often as I can that I love them... but what better way to tell your family that you love them than by cleaning their home, doing their laundry, making cookies, and preparing their meals.

I'd say they mean the world to me!  Especially, when I can eventually sit back and admire the fruits of my labor.  (wink, wink)

For as much as I am trying to hold back, I am starting to get excited because I will be having house-guest come stay for the holidays, and then some.  It's not that I do not want to tell you who it is... it is just that I am afraid that if I do tell you, it may not happen.

I know this sounds so weird.  Unfortunately, when it comes to things in my life that I really want to happen and... whether (insert sarcastic tone now) "I put it out there" or not something seems to happen... something spoils it.  After all my "house-guest" has been promising to visit for some time now, and if it wasn't for one thing, it was another, why the visit has not yet happen!  HOWEVER...  Things seem to happen for a reason.  (wink, wink)

The last six months of my life... my life seems to have started to turn around for me.  Either that, or I am just looking at it in a more positive light.  So with that in mind... I am going to allow myself to get a little excited... still holding back the name of my "house guest" as a surprise for all.  A surprise for myself included, because then i can blog about it! ...and it will get interesting!   (wink, wink- hopefully I have not "winked" at you to death!  LOL!) 

courtesy of Bing images

So keeping the last paragraph in mind... in preparation for the possibility of a "future" house-guest... I have been working on my home for the last couple of months- painting, replacing light fixtures, completing small unfinished projects and what not... and in the past week, I have really started cleaning my home from top to bottom, and now with the last minute chores to do and the finishing touches to put in place in the next thirty-eight hours... I am hoping that everything will be just right for my special "house guest."  Keeping in mind that if something does not go the way "I planned it"... it will be okay!   (I am trying to deal with control issues, lol!)


Be careful what you "will" for.  I hope I do not regret this ever.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.  ~Burton Hillis

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.  ~W.T. Ellis 

Blessings to all!!

179 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.