Day 535 ~ 'Tis the Season?

It's officially the "Christmas season" or as some may refer to it as the "Holiday season".  

We . . . my husband, daughter and I actually spent most of our day watching Christmas movies... thank you Hallmark channel.  wink, wink.  

The only thing I can say is that I wish Christmas miracles or the Christmas Spirit would happen just as they do in the movies.

As we sat back and watched the movies, my heart couldn't help but to get so full of love. . . let alone the feeling of hope, love, and dreams that overtakes me us all.  Funny, while I sit and get "into" the movie(s) and cry [of course] my husband teases me because my little chin quivers as I start to get emotional.  What a way to ruin the moment!  LOL!

As far as I am concerned, Dino can make fun of my little chin all he wants . . . I will continue to watch sweet movies and feel the moment . . . how else would one enjoy a good Christmas movie?  wink, wink.

BUT . . . 

We wouldn't have any of this . . .

We have to stop, look and think. . .  all the planning, shopping, cheer, giving, wishing, cooking and receiving did not come about just like that. . .  let's all remember the reason for this season . . .

I am thankful for a good Christmas movie!!


What's coming up?   Hmmm.... 
I think I see another challenge off in the near distance. . .

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 521 ~ Keeping Tradition Alive

Plimoth Plantation

When I was little (60s, 70s and even in the 80s) Halloween showed up in stores at the beginning of October each year... there were even neigborhood bar-be-ques (block parties) for Labor and Memorial Day. When Thanksgiving would come around, it was about being with family, very subtle at that... and Christmas/Holiday decor would go up the night of Thanksgiving.

2012... 
Halloween showed up while I was shopping for school supplies at the end of August... Thanksgiving is given a shelf or two ;) if at all! Except for Hobby Lobby where they really give us Thanksgiving! They have a beautiful collection for sale all of October through November.  {and} Christmas ... well with all it's decor and glory, including Christmas movies being shown on television, "Christmas" items showed up on shelves the moment Halloween did!


I guess the point I am trying to make is that the way holidays are being drawn out has been driven by the retailers.  After all do they ask us when we want the sales?  No.  As time has gone by they have stretched the dates more and more.  It is more about numbers than tradition to them.

As far as my childhood holiday traditions I acquired...  Those are my traditions and if they are that important to me, It is up to pass them on... I do not HAVE to follow the retailer's lead.

I am thankful for tradition!

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 225 ~ Vulnerability & My Family

vul·ner·a·ble    adj      \ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl, ˈvəl-nər-bəl\

Definition 

1

: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded

2

: open to attack or damage : assailable <vulnerable to criticism>

I feel that out of all the emotions a human is capable of feeling, vulnerability is one that I do not like.  Granted, there are others as well... aggression, anxiety, boredom, contempt, depression, doubt, embarrassment, envy, frustration, grief, guilt, hatred, horror, hostility, homesickness, hunger, hysteria, loneliness, paranoia, rage, regret, sadness, shame, and suffering.  Nonetheless, vulnerability takes the cake!


To avoid feeling vulnerable, I put walls up.  I'll admit it.  Especially when it came to my sister.  As I mentioned in Day 186 and Day 188, there is an unhealthy history here.  Do I blame it on my parents?  I do.   


A Parent's main responsibility is to love and keep their children safe, additionally we are to teach and mold our children to be respectable, good adults.  We want our children to be good.  Do good.  However, when the foundation of that family, the relationship of the parents themselves is not healthy in itself... well, let's just say that it is a recipe for disaster.


Most of my life, I found myself defending myself.  Defending myself against my sister.  I was the quiet one, and she ..  she always had and wanted to be the center of attention and since a toddler, was always in trouble.


I am not saying that I was a complete angel.  However, I did not start to get into trouble until I was in high school... and that only lasted a few years.   Not to mention that I ended up moving out when I was fifteen.  Yes fifteen.  It was more like running away... but any way you look at it, I was on my own (for the most part.)


I lived with different friends, finding family love and normalcy in their homes.  I had many parents, many friends, many homes.  More later on this.


Through the years, my sister and my relationship was NOT healthy.  The people that were mostly at the center of it all, were my parents.  I am not saying that it is their fault 100%... maybe more like 97%.  After all, as a parent you are to instill love into your children and teach them how to get along... as opposed to using them as pawns in your own relationship mishaps.


As time went on, I learned to protect myself.  How? I hardened my heart.  I would put walls up.  I would stay away.  Yes, I stayed away from my family.  Actually, from my sister.  If she was somewhere, I did not go.  If she showed up somewhere, I would eventually leave.  I did not give her the opportunity to hurt me.  The few times I tried to open up, I got burned.  Then when my children were born... I kept away more.  I just did not want them to see a dysfunctional family.


Fast forward to today.  I am disappointed once more.  Our visit started really nice.  As time went on, I saw how she had changed.  Or rather the person she has become.  Oh how I wanted to help her.  Make things better for her.  Then a week into our time together, she found out she had to leave just days after Christmas.  The original plan was for her to stay until February.


When I first found out, I was furious, hurt and upset.  She told me that our mother had informed her that she needed to be back home for an appeal regarding her medical disability, which had been moved up.  Funny, just as I was writing this, I realized that I have no proof of this other than her word.  What is even more funnier, is that just the day before she wanted to go back home to be with our mother because she was going to be alone on Christmas!  (This is a grown woman, not a little girl.)


What I really think that happened...  I think she got tired of my rules and wanted to go home.  RULES?!?!  In my opinion my sister has a problem with prescription drugs.  This is remnant from her being in the hospital one year earlier, and almost dying from lung embolisms and blood clots in her legs.  So... yes I did get mad at her for drinking, even smoking cigarettes!  Wouldn't you if your sister almost died a year earlier?


Then the creme de la creme happened Christmas Eve.  I was trying to put together a gift as a favor to my mother in law, my mom, and was having major computer problems.  My husband Dean, had already left for dinner two hours earlier.  I was really trying desperately to get to Christmas Eve dinner.  Calley and I were ready, as was my sister.  


While I was troubleshooting my problem, my sister started calling all of her friends etc., wishing them a Happy Christmas Eve.  Then out of no where she comes into my office and sticks her phone in my face so I can talk to her daughter.  I told her that I could not talk...  Well... ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!


I have never been this mad EVER!!  I completely lost it!!  It was as if all the anger of all the years of abuse, frustration, and our history all surfaced and took over me.  It was if I became possessed.  And, I am so sad to say that my daughter witnessed it all.  I even threw her out of my home (not to worry, after some time I asked Dean to bring her back.)  I had to re-coop, suck it all up, and be a good role model for my daughter.


When it was all said and done.. my daughter and I missed Christmas Eve dinner with our family.  Not to mention that it ended up being Dean's grandmother's last Christmas, being that she passed away New Year's eve.


All I did was pray and pray that night.  I even apologized to my sister.  We both said some pretty horrific things- I went against every fiber in my being with my behavior that night.  I encouraged us both to work through this, to strengthen our relationship.  If we were to get through this and survive, I think we could have really turned our relationship around.


Since she left, she has bee aloof.  Telling me she'd call me back and not doing so.  She has not answered any of my texts.  


I really tried.  


The crappy part of all of this, is that now my daughter does not have an aunt.  Bare in mind that I did not tell my daughter about my having a sister, until last June.  I really thought things would be different this time around.


I hate being vulnerable.  It never fails.  When you finally decided to break down, open up and let someone in... and then it backfires... not cool!  Not cool at all!  Especially since now my five year old daughter is aware of it all.


Before my sister left, with my mother in law's encouragement, I prayed for her.  I asked her to please take care of herself.  Dean and I even pleaded with her that if she continued on her same path, that we were afraid she was not going to be around long.   That we would be getting a call soon.


The only thing I can say to her now... if you love us, your children, grandchildren, and others you say you love... then why do you not love yourself enough to take care of yourself?


Lesson learned... you can not help someone that does not want to be helped.  

You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit.  ~David Ryan

As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our way.  ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Blessings to all!!

140 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Day 211 ~ Here We Go Again...

I have to tell you that I have had a slow start to 2012.  Oh do not get me wrong... I am ready to take the year by its horns and show it who is boss!  However... I have not been feeling 100%  Maybe it's the holiday blues?

You know the holiday blues?  It's once the holidays are all over with... you take a look around and see all that you have to clean up!  You get the overwhelming feeling that it will take for-e-ver to clean the house up.  You take a glance at all the holiday decorations, the gifts that have yet made it to their 'place' in our lives... because we all know that there's a place for everything and everything has it's place.  (wink, wink)  Then not to mention the existing laundry that has managed to pile up to be ironed!  

Oh my... I'm having trouble breathing again!  LOL!  

I do want to add, that even with the cleaning jitters fading in and out, I did manage to clean a little Christmas up today.  Calley was even helping.  She's is such a great kid when it comes to cleaning.  If she volunteers, I recruit her!  She especially loves to help with the laundry.  All the while I am thinking that one day Calley won't be so eager to help out around the house.

SO tomorrow the plan is to get out all the Christmas decoration storage boxes out, and hopefully that will set off a chain reaction to clean it all up!  And if not... well then we will clean a little bit and then relax a little bit... clean a little bit ... then relax a little bit... and so on .

So here's to putting away Christmas for three twenty-three days... and starting the cycle all over again...  Let's hear it for Valentine's Day!

You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.  ~author unknown

Blessings to all!!

154 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Day 201 ~ Christmas & The Day After

Awe.   The day after Christmas, always such a let down.  After such hustle and bustle, holiday cheer in the air... it was here and now it's gone.  (big sad face)  I always used to wish we could stretch the day out, you know add a few hours here and there-  just so it didn't seem like it went by in such a flash.  

Actually, I am sighing with relief!  Finally!  The rush to get everything "Christmas" perfect for everyone, you know the right gift, the right decorations, food, etc.. it's over.  Not to mention the actual "big" moment... the moment you actually start to cook your family's Christmas meal.

I cook the green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and onions and white sauce.  My mother and father in law take over the turkey and yams.  And our beautiful cousins bring the desert!  We've been doing it this way ever since Dean, Calley and I moved here, and we have gotten it to a point that it all flows so harmoniously.  Except this year we somehow forgot all about the gravy.  YES, the G-R-A-V-Y!  How the heck do you forget the gravy?  Especially when there are two people planning the meal!  Ai-ya-yai!  However...

Once again... our dinner... was (and the choir sings out) AWESOME!!

So, now what?

Well, there were the after Christmas sales.  For the first time in a long time, I didn't rush out early to grab something up.  Calley and I showed up late morning, around eleven, very curious to see what we would find.  I think between the first moment we walked through the doors at the local Target and walked out, we set a new record!  We were in and out within a half hour.  At one point I turned to Calley and said that there wasn't anything grabbing at me.  Nothing that I HAD TO HAVE.  A lady turned to me and chuckled in agreement... and I just said that I was at a point in my life that I ask myself... "Is it a want or a need?"  She could not agree more.

Now... for New Years!  ...

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.  ~ Abraham Lincoln (American 16th US President (1861-1865))

Oh... I have to point out "D-A-Y  2-0-1"   ...   Can I get a "WHOOP, WHOOP"!

Blessings to all!!

164 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are courtesy of Bing images.

Day 200 ~ Happy Birthday Jesus

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given, 

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

~Isaiah 9:6

Here's to you, hoping that your Christmas was spent with those you love and plenty of good food.  

May Christmas be in your lives all year long.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
...   twelve drummers dancing
...   eleven plumbers piping

...   ten years of music

...   nine cousins playing

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing

...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans 

...   our little girl, we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

165 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are courtesy of Bing images.

Day 199 ~ Happy Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas to my sons.   

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Clement Clarke Moore (1779 - 1863), excerpt from his famous poem Twas the Night Before Christmas

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

...   eleven plumber piping

...   ten years of music

...   nine cousins playing

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing

...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans 

...   our little girl, we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

166 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.  Copyright laws apply.

Day 198 ~ Enjoying My Snow Day

What a day! ... Just finished wrapping a ton of gifts.  Do not ask me how I ended up with a ton of them, because it wasn't like I did a bunch of shopping.  Okay, and money does come into play as well- not like we had a ton of it laying around either.  

Doesn't matter how you look at it, I feel blessed that we even have some gifts under our tree.

Then there's tomorrow... I just finished my plan on what I need to get done tomorrow... and it is not pretty!  

I have the line up of all the cookies Calley and I will be making tomorrow.  Comes out to be around fourteen dozen.  Yes I said fourteen!  But, I am only making about six or so different kinds... my famous oatmeal/raisin/pecan cookies, my signature cinnamon roll cookies (I will not be sharing this recipe, just sayin'), turtle cookie bars, and fudge.  I know fudge is not a cookie, however I am making it.  A Christmas time must.  I know there's one or two more, but I do not want to get up to get my to do list.

Why am I making so many?  Well, it's the ultimate gift this time of year.  Right up my alley.  Which means, that I will enjoy baking and cooking with Calley most the day; giving treats is easy on the pocket; and it spreads love and joy.  What a great way to give and spread cheer!  

Oh, and I haven't even mentioned what I am dreading to do on my list and have tried my best all week to avoid... going to the store tomorrow!  Y-I-K-E-S!!!  I discovered that I need just a few more stocking stuffers.. just a bit shy.  Darn Christmas stockings!  (don't want the stockings to be all skinny!)  Oh and I need just a tad more butter and sugar for the baking.

AY! That's not the half of it... We woke up to snow this morning, which does not happen every year in western Texas, let alone at Christmas time.  So Lord knows what the roads will be like in the morning.  Ideally, I would love to be at Target right when the doors open, and then hit Sam's on the way back home, stopping only for dog food.

Question of the hour... What will the weather bring us tonight?  How will it affect my morning?  (I know that was two questions, not like I'm in the 9 items or less line)  Goal is to be back home by 9am... What do you think?  Whatever way it goes, I will have fun and be safe.  After all it is Christmas Eve tomorrow, which only brings more festivities in the Karam family.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.    - Burton Hillis

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,

...   ten years of music

...   nine cousins playing

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing

...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans 

...   our little girl, we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

167 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images courtesy of Bing images.

Day 196 ~ From Our Home To Yours

In tonight's post, I would like to share with you how my family has been spending this Christmas season.  From our home to yours we wish you the best this Christmas and all year long.  For our love ones no longer with us, we will always hold you in our hearts and minds.  

God bless us everyone ...

I think we, Calley and I, pretty much started baking the day after Thanksgiving, and it has been bliss ever since!  Above we were baking our famous Oatmeal/Raisin/Pecan cookies... one word ... N-U-M-M-Y!  Below, our Christmas sugar cookies.. mm..mm..good!

While decorating our family Christmas tree, we stopped for a quick kodak moment, I should actually say, for a Cyber-shot moment..  (wink, wink)  

I am in BIG trouble!  I must say that Calley can be really bossy.  She knows how she likes things... down to where the ornaments should go!  Not a good sign.  Note to self... nip Calley's take charge attitude in the butt immediately (well maybe just a little, I do want her to be a leader-  we'll have to work on this one)!!

WOW!!  My baby is growing up!  (so sad.)  Well, she certainly is fun!  She was so happy to see Santa.  She asked him if she could tell him what she wanted for Jesus' birthday.  That's my girl!   

Calley has certainly made Christmas very special this year.  At five years old, she is very involved and wants to help with everything.  She is always showing us what she can do, and asks if we are proud of her, which of course we are.  She really is an amazing little girl, even if she is hard to keep up with half of the time.  (wink, wink) 

                                                               

              

Calley has had a hand in everything.  She was having such fun that she put the stockings on for shoes, Santa's beard and hat. (above left)  Calley even helped folding the hand towels in her bathroom, and placing them just so.  

When it came to making our Christmas wreath, I really enjoyed her reaction.  We first lined up all of our pieces we needed for the project, teaching her what everything was as we went along.  First, I took the ribbon and wrapped it around the wreath, then added the pines and glued the ornaments on.  Calley was in awe as she watched it come together.  Finally... this was really cute... as I picked up the ribbon, I twisted it, looped it, and twisted it, over and over again.  I repeated the twisting and looping several times... until.... VioLa!  With a couple of little snips on the ends, I had a beautiful bow.  All the while Calley was saying...  "ooo... oh wait... ooo... wait...oooooo mommmy.  WOW!"   

Nothing like a day at the park... I love to watch Calley run all over and get her "energy" out of her system.  This time, I was able to relax and take pictures while my sister did all the chasing.  She could not keep up with Calley!  (lol)  We returned all tuckered out, even me.  (big smile)

When Calley and I cook, we have our little routine.  Calley helps me collect the ingredients for the Creamy Cilantro dip for my 1st Annual Karam Family Christmas Spa Day, we line them up and prep them according to quantity needed.  And... VioLa!  

From here on out we'll be making lots of holiday treats, dishes and etc... we'll share some of the recipes, and some are just special for our family.  I'm sure you understand.  

A Christmas Prayer 

Loving Father, help us to remember the birth of Jesus, that we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and the worship of the wise men. 

Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world.  Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting.  Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts. 

May the Christmas morning make us happy to be Thy children, and the Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake. Amen!   

~ Robert Louis Stevenson

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing
...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans, 

...   our little girl we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

169 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.