Day 292 ~ I Married My Best Friend ... Part Deux

As our BIG day approached, all I kept hearing from Dean was ... don't forget we need to keep it small.  For ten months I heard... don't forget we need to keep it small.

All the usual things for a wedding, but with a relaxed twist.  The venue was easy, we were getting married by a long time family friend in Malibu.  What a great place to get married, after all we met near the beach, most of our relationship was spent at the beach, and we grew up near the beach... why not get married near the beach.  We were married at the Malibu Phoenix.

As far as the preparations went...I put all my talents to work with this wedding.  I designed and made the invitations.  The party favors, shoes, and our Titanium wedding bands (the strongest metal to represent how strong our love is for one another)... all purchased on eBay.  Table arrangements, and other decorations including paper goods, glasses and utensils purchased downtown Los Angeles from wholesale merchants.  Then a little of this here and a little of that there... and VIOLA!  Oh, my dress, it was given to me.  Finally, all the delicious Persian food was provided by my father-in-law's Persian friends.  Nummy!!  

Our photographer was perfect, and the flowers just right (I just had to have gardenias! ~ my favorite!)

   

When it came to the guest list... this was funny.  Yes, I still kept hearing ... don't forget we need to keep it small ...  However, Dean's mom was somehow oblivious to this.  I will say this... even though Dean's mother Sally had been divorced from Dean's father for well over thirty years, she had all the family addresses correct.  More announcements went out than invitations, by far. 

As we got closer, and closer, every so often Sally would call me up with some little story of bumping into a friend who we must add to the guest list.  or Better yet... Dean would tell me that he had bumped into an old friend, and that we needed to send them invite.  Then ten minutes later.. yes you got it... don't forget we need to keep it small.  

This would happen up until days before the wedding.

Now, that I think about this.  I feel so blessed to have had Sally help Dean and I with our wedding.  She was a major help!  We feel so blessed that she was a big part of our day... thank God she handled the food... truth be told, it wasn't until Sally told me that her husband and his friends were bringing (scrumptious) Persian food as their gift to us that I realized that I had forgotten all about food!  Big smile!  That was a close one!!

When our BIG day finally arrived, Dean's mother and father, and their respective families, as well as my uncle Jose Luis, aunt Graciela and cousin Alejandra, and my brother all scurried and helped put together a fabulous day for us with all the last minute preparations!

My family?  My mother was late, as usual.  We even held the wedding for nearly an hour and a half.  Finally, the rest of our guests were getting restless, and I had to make the call to start the wedding,  Oh, and my father was far too busy with his wife's grand-daughter.  Boy was that a slap in the face.  He barely put her down long enough to walk me down the aisle!  I was so embarrassed by my family's actions.  Here, Dean's family barely sat down... and my family...             ...     ...  exactly... par for the course.  

Had to get that last paragraph out of my system... and now that it's out... YES!  You got it!  It's in a balloon, tied tight and off it went!  To know more about this awesome reference in my Day 7 post, click here.  A must read.  wink, wink.

As our day went on, Dean kept on wanting to get and do last minute festivities.  He even wanted to go get a keg!  I could have strangled him... after all, what happened with... "don't forget we need to keep it small" ?   

 “And they...LIVED!  Life isn't always ‘Happily Ever After’, rather, loving FOREVER, regardless.”   ― Carmen DeSousa, She Belongs To Me

Blessings to all!!

73 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are property of Dean Karam, Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.  U.S Copyright laws apply.  ©

Day 291 ~ I Married My Best Friend

Nine years ago, on my 40th birthday, my best friend and I were married!

The more I analyze my life and the things I do, I have learned that I like to do things my way. It isn't that I go out of my way to be different than most, if it happens, it happens.  What I am saying is that I do things that I like, and not because others are doing so or to be like them.  

It isn't that I, or Dean for that matter, didn't want a traditional wedding.  Dean wanted a small, intimate wedding, HA [will explain later], and I had my traditional wedding with my sons' father.  So, as far as I was concerned, this was more for Dean since it was his one and only time down the aisle.

My 40th was about ten months away (which I had been planning a celebration for years,) when we decided to get married.  

Let me explain a little here.  chuckle, chuckle.  My wonderful husband, before I married him, and when I first started dating him. was a bachelor in every sense of the word.  

Sure Dean dated, but he wasn't a player and he didn't have a "need" to constantly have a girlfriend.  He was into playing ice hockey, league and pick up games, as well as his street hockey at Santa Monica beach every weekend; he was a man's man and hung out with his friends; friends of which he has had since childhood, junior high and high school combined; he spent most Christmases with his father and his family in El Paso, and other special holidays and family vacations with his mother and her family; at the age of thirty-seven, Dean brought his first girlfriend home for Christmas, to El Paso, to meet his family- that was me.

As we dated, and time went on, we were approaching my birthday.  Now, here are some reasons why Dean and I are good together.  I am a planner, for example I planned for years that when I turned forty I was going to have a party.  Dean on the other hand, God love him, doesn't think to think ahead on whether or not he should have a jacket for later in the day.  If that makes any sense to you.  So... since we started dating, it's become my job to remind him to take a jacket with him if he needs to.  

The subject of marriage came up soon there after... to this day Dean and I can't agree on how the subject came up... however as we got deeper and deeper into the subject... I proposed!  Well, I saw that Dean was going to take forever and ... well... my biological clock was ticking!!  

I did put a lot of thought into this beforehand.  I even asked for his mom's blessing, and went as far as getting my father's blessing as well (for whatever that's worth- okay, I'll be nice.)  I learned early on that if I wanted romance in mine and Dean's relationship... well I was going to have to be the one to orchestrate it.  That's okay.  Dean would not be my Dean, if he was a mushy romantic guy.

Soooooo... after a nice dinner one night, somehow "marriage" came up, I don't know how, but it did... wink, wink.  Then, my 40th birthday came up... and then before I knew it, forget all the laid out plans I had- they all went out the window when my nerves showed up!  Most importantly, when the thought of saving money and throwing "one" grand celebration came up, it was very appealing to the both of us... it was cool... it was different... plus Dean would only have ONE date to remember... so we decided to get married on my 40th!

1 Corinthians 13:4-13  (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Blessings to all!!

74 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Some images courtesy of google and bing images.  U.S Copyright laws may apply.  ©

Day 288 ~ Thank God Hair Grows Back!

What a Happy Birthday to me!!  

I know that my life is not perfect; my sons have their issues with me- I did get a Happy Birthday text from my eldest; my mother, who has her major issues as well won't talk to me- that's right you guessed it, she nor my sister called me for my birthday; my sister is in a world of her on living on borrowed time; and Lord knows that I have my issues with all of this...

Today... I did not even give it a second thought, let alone a first thought... I woke up knowing that this was going to be a wonderful day.  Who would have thought that Facebook would not only be this mega social network, but would also play a role in everyone's birthday by taking over what Hallmark used to do for everyone. 

At one point today, I think I became a little overwhelmed with all the birthday wishes that I received from all my Facebook family and friends, that I turned my phone off when I arrived for my hair cut appointment.  I felt bad at first, but it wasn't like I would be able to answer a call or even hear it for that matter..

Okay... so I mentioned that this was going to be a good day right?  First off, I wanted to drive around in a shiny clean car today, so I went to the car wash.  WRONG!!! SHUT UP! THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN?  For the second day in a row four different car washes had lines going down the street and around the corner!  Why? You ask.   After several days of high winds and rain my car was filty!  Well apparently I am not the only one that has this problem.  I've gone four different times within the last two days.

For a brief moment I felt myself getting upset at myself because I didn't get up early to go to the car wash (like I wanted too), knowing all too well that I was not able to go because I had to finish some other work.  Phew, that was a mouthful!  Just as fast as that thought entered my mind, I did an attitude adjustment and said oh well one more day driving a dirty car was not going to kill me.       

Save number one.

Oh, I mentioned my haircut... All I have to say is ... THANK God HAIR GROWS BACK!!  Oh my.  What just happened?  Right now, believe it or not... I am too embarrassed to post a picture of my hair.  But to give you an idea... Dean was calling me Dora the explorer by the end of the night! silly man!!  I do have to say that I think Dora's hair looks much better than mine.

One moment I am walking into the salon for my "free" haircut (I guess the operative word here is "free")... "Jerry" is asking me if he can do whatever he wants to my hair?  which frankly at this point my hair needs something done to it.  Then I am thinking... what do I have to loose?  After all it's my birthday!  Worse case, hair grows back.  

Next thing I am watching all my hair being cut off... which was okay... I was expecting at least six inches to be cut off... NOT EIGHT TO TEN inches in some places.  OH MY!  I don't think I have ever had my hair this short.

Funny thing... the outspoken person that I am sat there frozen and could not say a thing!  What the?!  I did not say a thing.  I could not bring myself to.  He kept on going ooo aaaa ... and continued cutting.. and I just sat there!

By the time I found myself sitting behind the steering wheel of my car, I was in complete utter shock!  I asked Calley what just happened? Kidding of course.  I looked in the mirror and couldn't help myself and bursted out that I hated my hair.  Calley immediately chimed in and said No Mommy, your hair looks beautiful!  I smiled and thought how sweet she was and immediately decided that I was going to remind myself that hair grows back and in about a month my hair should be okay.  I'll just wear a hat or scarf until then!  lol!

Save number two.

Finally... I am a little disappointed that some people that I hold dear to me, to my life, decided to "I will show her"  by not calling me, regardless of it being my birthday or not...  It hurts.  It is said that a child is a reflection of their parents, as they also say that a parent sees themselves in their children's actions... something along those lines anyways... 

HOWEVER... I am not buying it!  I can look at myself and know that I have done all that I can up to this point and that I do not merit or deserve in any way, shape or form this type of treatment... or rather non-treatment.  Knowing this I choose to not get sucked into their drama, so that I may live a solid, peaceful life within myself... and I continue to remind myself of the following quote:

If someone wants to be a part of your life they’ll make an effort to be in it. So don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay. Remember, there comes a point where you have to realize that you’ll never be good enough for some people, but that’s not your problem.  ~unknown author    

I know it comes across a little harsh... but you get the idea.  Honestly, I generally focus on the first sentence because for me, it reminds me that "I" can only do so much.  Be proud of what I do.  and Remember that other people have their own problems.  lol!  

Save number three!


Seriously, the message I am trying to put forth here is... how we choose to handle situations that come at us is what can make or break our day.  Big smile. 



Happy Birthday to me!!

Blessings to all!!

77 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Some images courtesy of google and bing images.  U.S Copyright laws may apply.  ©

Day 260 ~ Birthdays... My Favorite Days!

All my life I have loved birthdays!!  Be it mine, a family member's or even friends and acquaintances... I love celebrating birthdays!!  I'm really good at remembering birthdays... wink, wink.

Your birthday is your special day.  The one day a year that you should be allowed to do anything you like, or not.  The one day that you are queen for a day or princess, or you are treated like a king or one in training if that's the case.  You definitely should be able to have your favorite dishes for your meals, all in moderation of course.  All in all you should be able to do what you want (in moderation) and have your special day!

What I love to do as my special gift, is bake my family member or friend their favorite cake or dessert, from scratch of course.  I am merely motivated by the fact that it is their special day, that and I love watching them enjoy their birthday cake.  Big smile.

From Tres Leches to Cheese Cake, Red Velvet Cake, Triple Chocolate Cake and more!

At home, you will get your favorite meals all day long!  BIG SMILE!!  Along with red-carpet treatment!

As I've mentioned before, for some reason I am in the dog house with my youngest son.  (I have no clue whatsoever why I am not being spoken too... BIG SAD FACE! and Living more than 1,700 miles away from my sons doesn't help our situation any, either.)  Today was his twenty-first birthday.   I would have LOVED to have made him his favorite foods, cake, and giving him his special day!      

Today as heart wrenching as it was, I did have some insight and a new perspective at looking at life.  The quote... If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to do so.... hits too close to home!  And when you think about it and the person that doesn't want you in their life is your child... one word... O U C H ! ! ! !  

However, I also read a wonderful post today... and what great timing too!  The Mom Journal's post was so inspirational!  I discovered through her post that I have been behaving like a carrot lately and I need to be coffee beans!  I'm sure you are thinking I am crazy right about now, but if you can take a few minutes, five at most, and read her post.  It'll be the best five minutes ever.

I know I have to toughen up... it's been a tough journey doing so... and I know there is always room for improvement!  But seriously... when faced with adversity, there are times that I just buckle!  I weaken... and my sons are one of those times.  This is where I behave like a carrot... place it in boiling water and twenty minutes later you have soft carrots.

It's just been such a  fragile relationship with both my sons, always wanting to do the right thing.. questioning myself constantly, worried constantly on what is going on... not only has it been exhausting, but it has been a long row to hoe!  

All I have ever wanted and want, was and is the best for my sons, so much so that I have made what turned out to be bad decisions for all of us... BUT THAT IS ALL IN THE PAST!!  And what does that mean?  I can not do anything about it... However... I can do the best I can from here on out!

I'm going to start growing some beans and behave like coffee!  Yup!  After twenty minutes in boiling water... you get strong coffee!!  wink, wink.

Basically the moral of the story is that given the same bad situation, what matters is how you handle yourself in the face of adversity.  You can "soften" up or you can make "strong coffee"!  

In honor of mothers everywhere...

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:   ~  Proverbs 31:28  (NIV) 

Blessings to all!!

105 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  Happy Birthday Logan... I love you so much! 

Some images courtesy of google images.  Others are marked accordingly, and are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back Life ~ Making It My Own, this blog.   All U.S Copyright laws apply.   ©

Day 259 ~ The Night Before Becoming a Mommy

Today I spent most of my day enjoying my children.  I would absolutely love to tell you that I had them all together with me... but regretfully so, that wasn't the case.

Although I did not have my children with me physically today... mentally and spiritually my children are always with me.

I did not want to, nor did I allow myself to think about the fact that my sons are not with me...

Instead, I thought about the first time I saw each one of them for the very first time... making sure that all their fingers and toes were accounted for, and then being the first one to kiss each one of them.  What a blessing.

Tonight I sit here, lovingly thinking about the night before each of my babies were born.  Each time, being just as nervous, no different than the time before, with the exception of  my first one of course... Please bare in mind that all my babies were "c" section babies and I knew when they were going to be born.  With my first baby I had no clue what to expect, and it was very exciting.. but with my other two babies it was a little more nerve racking because I knew what to expect.

The night before my babies were born, I remember there being so much hope and so many promises in the air.  So many uncertainties, so much to look forward too.

Twenty-one years ago tonight, I was scared.  I was a little confused.  Wondering how a mother has enough love for all her children, let along how she loves her children equally.  Wondering where a mother finds so much love?  Will I love my Logan, as much as his brother? 

Once I laid eyes on my baby boy, once I held my baby boy and felt him next to me... I felt at ease.  Uncertainties... no more!  I felt so much love for my baby boy and felt that I could handle anything with him and his brother at my side.  

His big brother?  Well, when he walked into my hospital room to meet his baby brother for the first time... it was as if my baby boy grew over night!  And there I sat with both my boys!

One thing I was not counting on as my role as a mother was the fact that my heart would now be wondering around outside of my body, and that the slightest little threat on my children would make me turn into a crazy woman!  Let alone the unlimited love that I would feel for my three children.  

The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.  ~ 1 Timothy 1:5 (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7  (NIV)

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.  1 John 3:18 (NIV)

 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.  ~ Proverbs 23:22 (NIV)

being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience  ~  Colossians 1;11 (NIV)

Blessings to all!!

106 days to go...

PS... for a, l and c.  You are my sunshine(s).

Some images courtesy of google images.  Others are marked accordingly, and are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back Life ~ Making It My Own, this blog.   All U.S Copyright laws apply.   ©

Day 258 ~ Finding "Good" in the Past

Today I spent most of my day on an emotional roller coaster... some brief moments of sadness and other moments filled with gratitude.  I mean very brief moments of sadness... the moment something would come to mind, you would find me shaking it off the next.

My youngest son has been on my mind lately, more so than just being in my daily prayers... in two days, Thursday, the 23rd of February, will be his twenty-first birthday.  

Needless to say, "my life" of twenty-one years ago was on my mind today.

In his twenty- one years, my son has been through an emotional roller coaster himself.  All the unnecessary trials and tribulations that his father's divorce from me was putting our family through, were not ones that a child needs to witness.  Which is not what I wanted his childhood to be about.  

What certainly does not help how I feel is that for the past nine months, and nearly two years before that... my son and my relationship has not been what it should be...  I will not give up on how I want my life to be... which includes all my children in it... never.

So... the moment a memory would come to mind, a sad thought, I would think of a positive counter-thought... and that would be the end of that.

I needed to remind myself that was the past.  And what about the "past'?!  We can not do anything about it.  It is in the past!  Rather than turning my back on the past and completely putting it out of mind, I find the good in it, learn from it, and realize that those experiences have made me... and made me stronger.

Though twenty-one years ago I was going through some trials and tribulations myself, (marriage was already very unsteady and rocky) God literally blessed me with my son... and for that I will climb the highest mountains... go through trials and tribulations... I would do it all over again!

I love you son... to the moon and stars above!

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.  ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Blessings to all!!

107 days to go...

PS... for a, l and c.  You are my sunshine(s).

Some images courtesy of google images.  Others are marked accordingly, and are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back Life ~ Making It My Own, this blog.   All U.S Copyright laws apply.   ©

Day 137 ~ Praying For Shelly

Praying for Shelly
Tues.  Oct 24th

Just as there is happiness in life, there is sorrow too.  


A friend of mine will be going into surgery on Tuesday.  The surgeons will be removing a "benign" tumor that is resting on an auditory nerve.  As would be expected, there are a few risks, one of which she may end up with permanent hearing loss in the one ear... and another being that there may be partial face paralysis [on the same side.]  


I do not know that she would like to be mentioned in my blog, so I will only mention a first name... 


I am asking for your prayers for Shelly on Tuesday.  Her surgery will be anywhere from 6 to 8 hours, it could even go longer.  Her sister and I will be fasting on Tuesday, the same day in her honor.


On a happier note... Today was a day for spending time with family and friends... I especially love it when "the day" comes around [each year] that we get to celebrate the day one of us was blessed upon our family.   Today we celebrated the birthdays of Calley, her 5th, Dominic (my cousin,) his 18th  and Dean's 46th !

Funny... I was just thinking... [no funny comments now...] (wink wink)... each one of them are entering what seems to be such different stages of life, however as different as they are~ they are alike.  Meaning, that each of them are about to experience very special times in their lives.  How exciting for each one of them!  

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.    ~ Matthew 7:7-8

 Blessings to all!!

228 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 135 ~ Happy Birthday Dean!

Well today is the day that I give thanks to Sally for not only having given birth, but to have raised such a wonderful man... 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

A special birthday cake for my loving husband! Happy Birthday honey...    we are truly blessed to have each other!! ♥ ♥ ♥

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

A thank you to my father and mother in law for having raised such a wonderful man..

I don't know...  but to say, that Dean makes me want to be a better person...

which says something about the man himself!

Thank you Jesus!!

 Blessings to all!!

230 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 118 ~ Leave Your Mark, Not A Sale!

Today has been a great day all around!  I know someone was smiling down on me today.

This morning I woke up snuggling with Calley... and since Dean had already told her last night that it was Grandma Sally's birthday today, I witnessed a lovely serenade of Happy Birthday from her as well.  It was beautiful and very heart felt.  So cute! and sung pretty well if I don't say so myself!

As our day continued, it was a good productive day... I finished about nearly half the pricing on items for an estate/garage sale I am holding this weekend.  Tomorrow the goal is to finish the rest and be done with it until the sale itself.  

So sad to see a person's life be reduced to a sale... I tell you... I give you my word... I am not buying anymore stuff for the house, especially my kitchen, unless really necessary... and if it is necessary to do so... I am buying quality so that eventually Calley will use it.  For example, Calley will eventually get my Calphalon pans and KitchenAid Stand Mixer... just to mention a couple of things.

I guess I have committed myself now!  LOL!  No, really they will be Calley's one day.  And YES!!  She already loves to cook  :)

I'd like to end my post tonight on an angelic note ;)  Happy Birthday to a special angel looking down on us all, from above... Happy Birthday Sally.  

I would like to say is that Sally was a very awesome person!! (I know that may not be proper grammar... however it applies to Sally!) She's Dean's mother (1942~ 2005)... and she was a beautiful person who was very smart when it came to the English language (it came very easy to her, she loved it), a sense of humor that kept you laughing, not to mention a worldly knowledge that left everyone, especially me, awestrickened.  She was an awesome friend, and an even better parent.  A terrific mother-in-law and great garage sale-er (I often pick something up that I acquired with her garage sale-ing and smile!!.)  A true lady.  Very missed.

If the essence of my being has caused a smile to have appeared upon your face or a touch of joy within your heart, then in living I have made my mark.   ~  Thomas L. Odem Jr.

Blessings to all!!

247 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.