Day 319 ~ Taking Back My Life, Making It My Own!

I feel so blessed to have some healthy and long-life genes, I'm sure it will come in handy as I get older.  You see I have the honor to have had two great-great aunts who both lived to be well over 100 years old, and their niece, my maternal grandmother is two years shy of her own centennial... and each one of them healthy! .. to the very end.  No senility what-so-ever.  I should be that blessed.  

To be very honest with you, I doubt very seriously that I will live that long myself.  Lol!!  Honestly... I just partied too hard in my youth and did not treat my body as a temple as my predecendants did.  They barely had one or two glasses of wine a year (yes, YEAR) and took care of their ailments via the natural way, no chemical, prescriptions and such.  Holistic all the way.  That's how it was done.

On a positive note... they do say that 40 is the new 20, 50 the new 30, and so on... there is still hope.  lol.  So... I will make healthy, educated decisions for my family and me, and live my life to its fullest.

I have to share with you that in the last two weeks I have been conquering so many issues.  I really have been diving into my healing process (in regards to the loss I have suffered in my life and "life" in general) and can't really decide what "it" is I am going through.  

All I know is that I do not want Calley (my little girl) to grow up with a sad mommy or a grouchy one at that, and one who no less is starting a new phase in her life (Perimenopause).  Oy my poor little girl, lol.

Some may say that I am going through some kind of a mid-life crisis... however I disagree with that terminology being that I do not know how long I will live, and I may have very well passed that "mid" point or have yet to reach it. Big smile. 

What I do know is that I definitely suffered many years of a post traumatic depression, including blocking out negative memories which to day I have no recollection of.  

Lets review... (lol)  ... 

You know what... I was just about to do a brief recap of all the bull shit (sorry for the language, but I have to call it what it is) I have gone through, but have decided not to.  Enough is enough! 

I will however tell you that... I have been listening to a lot of Oprah's Lifeclass (yet another plug for Oprah, including the likes of Tony Robbins, Bishop TD Jakes, Ram Dass and Oprah herself (to mention a few) and what I have learned from them in my "aha" moments is...

I accept all the bull shit I have seen and been through to be in my past...  

I accept the fact that my past is my past and I can not do anything about it...   

I have no hope for my past to be different, it is what it is... 

I have learned from it...  

I have grown from it...  

I will no longer be defined by the sad, trial and tribulations, the stories of my life...

~ Carla Barilá Karam

A rebirth of sorts.  A cleansing.  A post traumatic rejuvenation.  A greet and meet really, a getting to know myself  Taking Back My Life and Making It My Own, and it's all been documented in this blog in one way or another.

Funny... I was just thinking, how long does it take a person to go through something like this?  Do I put a time limit on healing?  or... As they say, do I take it 'one day at a time"?  Am I completely healed?  NO WAY!  Maybe I just answered my own question? 

Another "aha moment" I have had is that by blogging of my goals in itself has been a motivating tool for me.  It is like I have to not only complete my goal, my challenge for myself, but for my blog and its readers and followers as well.

With that said, I have a new goal/ challenge to announce but will do so soon.  

You know what?  I heard Tony Robbins say that we should not say "should" or "will"... you are to say that you "are" and "am"... and WITH THAT SAID... I will announce my new challenge, my new goal in next Sunday's post.

Blogging A to Z Challenge April 2012... What will "T" have for us tomorrow?

46 days to go...  

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

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Day 132 ~ Striving To Be The Best

Watching (on tv) four people making life changing decisions for more or less forty people is what I am talking about.  However, let me make something perfectly clear... It has nothing to do with power on my end... it is about changing people's lives for the better!   


At the risk of coming across as being redundant, if I have said it once... this will certainly not be the last time I say it... I would love to be there for someone... for someone who feels alone and has been or is going through life drowning experiences as I have.


I understand that sometimes at a down time you want to be alone, you look away from happy people almost as if feeling you weren't worthy of even witnessing happiness in someone's else life.


I know all this because I too have once felt this way.  Even ignoring a friend's phone call because I didn't even want to hear happiness or be cheered up for that matter... after all.. what do they know about what I am going through?  Did they experience loosing a child, let alone two?  


Believe me... as an after thought, I am so grateful for my friends that have stuck it out with me... But better yet...


I am more grateful for the same friends that have been seeing me through my redesigning, revamping, or remodeling if you will... better yet... the rebirth that I am experiencing now.


After having had a trying day with Calley yesterday... today, I vowed from the moment I went to sleep last night, that it would be a better day.


I once again was lit up by Julia Child... my first experience being one of the reasons that  motivated to start my blog... as in the movie "Julie and Julia," as I briefly mentioned in my Day 1 post.


Yes... I was inspired to write my blog as Julie did, only difference is that I am blogging about my  life in 365 days, as opposed to cooking my way through Julia's cookbook.

With all that said... Calley and I took on Julia Child's Boeuf Bourguignon (Beef Burgandy)... Oh my... not only did this recipe literally keep us busy for six hours, but we had a lot of  fun too- especially while we were gathering our ingredients in the store... we kept on talking like Julia Child.  We kept on saying "Boeuf Bourguignon" as Julia would, even in her voice! ... Calley had it down good!


After a lot of prep and the use of a few of pans... WE DID IT!!  We made Julia Child's Boeuf Bourguignon!  Oh my goodness the "bouef" melted in our mouths!

I may not be Julie or Julia, let alone Oprah with her magnificent giveaways and all that she has done to make a difference in tons of people's lives... but I sure am striving for that!!    




Even though the following quote is included in the writings on the Unknown Author, I sincerely wish the following words upon your heart... 

This is my wish for you:

Comfort on difficult days;  Smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, Laughter to kiss your lips.  Sunsets to warm your heart, Hugs when spirits sag.  Beauty for your eyes to see.  Friendships to brighten your being, Faith so that you can believe.  Confidence for when you doubt, Courage to know yourself.  Patience to accent the truth, Love to complete your life.

Blessings to all!!

233 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.