Day 141 ~ Believing In Myself

Seems to me that I may be onto something here... today I found myself once again surprising myself.  

"I have to forgive my sons' father. not for him... but for me.  I have allowed what he has done to me to affect me and my life for far too long.  I actually let all of it happen to me by not believing in myself and not standing up to him .  As far as my boys... well although they are young men now and are old enough to do as they please... this is now their choice.  They are allowing their father to continue to "brainwash" and lay controlling head games with them.  I love them and always will.  They are my sons and I do forgive them... but if they insist on not talking to me, it isn't for something I did.  As an afterthought, they may be upset at me because of my blog... I stand by what I write and believe in everything I say,  I have done nothing wrong, and write of the truth.  I would do this all over again."

As much as my heart aches for my boys, I believe in what I am doing just as much.  I realize that they have not been under the best tutelage, however they should remember what we went through together, and their father's continued suggestions to not contact me.  

Regardless, now... it is all in the past, can't change it.  All I can do is be the best I can be for myself, and my family.  And as far as the time we continue to spend apart... well, I will continue my blog for them [because I know that one day they will thank me for it,] and I will make them proud of me.

Today I came across the following quote, "I bless the past with love, take a deep breath, and move gently into the new." by Louise L. Hay.  For some reason Louise continues to pop into my life just at the right time, with just the right words.  She could not be anymore accurate.  I'm sure you would agree with me that Louise L. Hay is definitely on my "Dream Team."  

I have to admit that after having read these quotes, I realized that I am actually believing in myself, really liking what I am about and where I am heading.  I can't believe I just wrote that, because I actually am feeling it! 

Every day it gets easier to look into my own eyes in the mirror and say, "I love you just the way you are."  ~ Louise L. Hay

Received word that Shelly is doing well in her recovery process, however is in a lot of pain.  Please continue to pray for my friend's pain to subside and for a quick, healthy recovery.




 Blessings to all!!

224 days to go...


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