Day 456 ~ Supporting Our Teachers

{and} so it starts...

I don't know why school starts the week before Labor Day... 

it's like the kids go to school for a week... and for five straight days they get rule after rule, procedure after procedure drilled into their little heads...

in our case, my little Calley listened to the rules yet had a very rough time adhering to them... only to end on a good note on Friday...

Then they're off for three days and then back on Tuesday they need to be nudged a little to back on track for the next four days.

this week was a much easier week - compared to last week where the teacher requested a meeting with my husband and I before the week was out.

Do not get the wrong impression... Calley is disciplined... we follow through with her on everything... we discovered that spanking has no affect on her... taking tv away stings a bit... and getting other privileges taken away stings even more...

She'll be ever so so sorry... apologize up and down so sincerely.

But the thing is ... give it a day or two and she's at it again.  sad face.

We ask her "Calley why did you peel the paint off the wall..??" and all we get is an "I'm sorry" and "I don't know..." ... with it we get shrugged shoulders, a big sad face, an "I don't know..." 

I just don't understand.  

Calley has always and will always get a lot of attention...  yes, it is true, she is primarily around adults...  she is very, very loving and given the opportunity she will hug you non-stop.  

When she does remember to ask for permission and does not get the response she wanted, she immediately comes up with a compelling argument.  An attorney in the making?

My girly-girl, loving, head strong, animal lover, independent, really enjoys helping in the kitchen- an expert in the making, with an eye for good fashion.  wink, wink.

Just because I may be scratching my head with this one, it does not mean I will ever stop trying new things... new angles...  

At this point all I can do is keep moving forward, support Calley's teacher with her recommendations and back her up whenever needed.  

After all teachers are molding our children for the future... and to one day run the future.

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance,  ~ Proverbs 1:5

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.  ~Albert Einstein

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 301 ~ "D" is for Daughter

Depression, discipline and divorce, all came into my head at one time or another, for today's "D" word... But for some reason, I was not feeling it. Those words were just not going to do. Especially after the day I had today.  

As I was disciplining Calley today, for not obeying and not staying on task... my word finally came to me!  Daughter.  

All of a sudden memories of being a daughter myself rushed before me.  As quick as those memories came before me, memories of my divorce came before me (and how I handled it all) and the discovery that I had been dealing with depression for many years.  

I do not want any of this for my little girl!  I want to raise her to be a strong woman.  A woman that can stand on her own two feet.  A woman that can provide for herself.  A woman who is soft and gentle, sweet and pleasant to all.  A woman who has wonderful self esteem, and a confidence that will welcome people... as opposed to being unwelcoming or unapproachable.

I want all the things for my daughter that I didn't have.

The ways my parents treated me; the way my mother continues to (not) treat me.  Being lied to, played upon and manipulated... it all took my innocence away.  It all took the sparkle out of my eyes.

As I look at my baby girl... my heart saddens. Unfortunately, she gets in trouble a lot and  frequently is in time-out.  She definitely has a mind of her own.  Today, she went as far as telling me that she did not want to go into time-out, and cried as she as she stated that she can not stay out of trouble.

I do not want my daughter to spend most of her childhood in time-out (lol)... but on the other hand, she has to be disciplined.  After all, discipline starts in the home, right?  And I know that if she does not get disciplined, well... just the thought of it is unspeakable!

I became very frustrated today.  "Why doesn't she listen to me?", I continued to ask myself.  "What am I doing wrong?"  I follow through on all discipline.  Yes, I am strict with her, she needs it.  I can tell her to do something, and have trained her to repeat what I ask of her so she understands what is asked of her... she will acknowledge, then next thing I know... YUP! ... she's off to do something entirely different.  I notice, and she's back in time-out again.  Now mind you, I do talk to her.  I try to find out what going on, but to no avail... I get no where.  She doesn't know why she does what she does, and quite frankly... neither do I. 

I look at my mother in law, the daughter she was.  The wife and mother she is... she is an amazing woman!  I witnessed her put her life aside for over two years, to take care of her mother.  She did so until her mother literally took her last breath.  

I look at my sister in law... she is an absolute sweet heart.  She is a wonderful friend to her friends, a true pleasure to be around.  She's confident, funny, loving and straight to the point.

These two daughters, were loved and taken care of.  They were even respected by their parents.  They both have a loving family.

My Daughter, has a loving family.  (One down, big smile)  I really and truly want to lift my daughter up, not extinguish her light.  My daughter is my life.  I didn't give her life... she gave it to me.  

Bottom line, I am trying to give my daughter positiveness so that she learns positiveness.  I want to give her happiness so that she learns happiness.    I want to give her love so she learns love.  I want to give her a life for her to be proud of, so that one day she will be able to do the same for her children.

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on

But boys would be gone without the warmth from

A woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man

Looking out for every girl

You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will love like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers, be good to your daughters too

~ John Mayer, partial lyrics to "Daughters"

Blogging A to Z Challenge April 2012... What will "E" have for us tomorrow?

Blessings to all!!

64 days to go...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.  U.S Copyright laws apply.  ©

Day 179 ~ The Naughty or Nice List

I never once thought that being a mom to a little girl would be so "crazy" compared to being a mom to two boys.  I am sure that you would tell me to take into consideration that there are fifteen years between Calley and Logan, and nineteen between her and Addison.

Oh I know I am older... believe me I know.  Then to put the icing on the cake, I am starting to show signs of perimenopause.  Let me tell you, between the hot flashes, mood swings and then Calley being such a curious and active little girl... AAAHHH CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!  

Earlier today, Calley was being naughty and I really snapped at her (deservingly so) ... after giving it some thought i thought to myself "I can be a bitch!"  Even if Calley is constantly touching things and disobeying, it doesn't make it okay for me to raise my voice to her constantly.  Or is it?

I really do not want her to remember me, the same as I remember my father... constantly raising his voice and just being plain mean (just to mention a couple of things.)

I guess one thing I do differently than what my father did...  I take a few minutes to cool down, I talk to Calley and try to reason with her, and then I do something with her.  I try to keep it low key, after all I do not want to reward the behavior that got her into trouble in the first place.

courtesy of bing images

Today, I said something to her that i had never said before... I told her that she was on the "naughty" list.  OH MY GOODNESS IT WAS AS IF THE EARTH ERUPTED!!  I might as well have had crushed her teddy bear!  I never saw her react this way!  EVER!  And I all I could think of was ... BINGO!! Finally! Something that gets her attention!

So I wonder how long I will be able to use the naughty or nice list for?

As I kiss her good night this evening, she asked me ..."Mommy am I still on the naughty list."  "No, Calley you are not."  I continued, "however, Calley if you do not do as you are told you are automatically put back on the "naughty" list.  "Yes, mommy.  I love you.  Sweet Dreams." Calley said ever so sweetly.

As I left her room, I ecstatically mouthed the word "YES!" as I clenched my fist to my chest and then immediately looked around in hopes that I did not jinx the use of the naughty or and nice list. 

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!  ~Author Unknown

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace, The gladness of Christmas give you hope, The warmth of Christmas grant you love.    ~Author Unknown

Blessings to all!!

186 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.