Day 301 ~ "D" is for Daughter

Depression, discipline and divorce, all came into my head at one time or another, for today's "D" word... But for some reason, I was not feeling it. Those words were just not going to do. Especially after the day I had today.  

As I was disciplining Calley today, for not obeying and not staying on task... my word finally came to me!  Daughter.  

All of a sudden memories of being a daughter myself rushed before me.  As quick as those memories came before me, memories of my divorce came before me (and how I handled it all) and the discovery that I had been dealing with depression for many years.  

I do not want any of this for my little girl!  I want to raise her to be a strong woman.  A woman that can stand on her own two feet.  A woman that can provide for herself.  A woman who is soft and gentle, sweet and pleasant to all.  A woman who has wonderful self esteem, and a confidence that will welcome people... as opposed to being unwelcoming or unapproachable.

I want all the things for my daughter that I didn't have.

The ways my parents treated me; the way my mother continues to (not) treat me.  Being lied to, played upon and manipulated... it all took my innocence away.  It all took the sparkle out of my eyes.

As I look at my baby girl... my heart saddens. Unfortunately, she gets in trouble a lot and  frequently is in time-out.  She definitely has a mind of her own.  Today, she went as far as telling me that she did not want to go into time-out, and cried as she as she stated that she can not stay out of trouble.

I do not want my daughter to spend most of her childhood in time-out (lol)... but on the other hand, she has to be disciplined.  After all, discipline starts in the home, right?  And I know that if she does not get disciplined, well... just the thought of it is unspeakable!

I became very frustrated today.  "Why doesn't she listen to me?", I continued to ask myself.  "What am I doing wrong?"  I follow through on all discipline.  Yes, I am strict with her, she needs it.  I can tell her to do something, and have trained her to repeat what I ask of her so she understands what is asked of her... she will acknowledge, then next thing I know... YUP! ... she's off to do something entirely different.  I notice, and she's back in time-out again.  Now mind you, I do talk to her.  I try to find out what going on, but to no avail... I get no where.  She doesn't know why she does what she does, and quite frankly... neither do I. 

I look at my mother in law, the daughter she was.  The wife and mother she is... she is an amazing woman!  I witnessed her put her life aside for over two years, to take care of her mother.  She did so until her mother literally took her last breath.  

I look at my sister in law... she is an absolute sweet heart.  She is a wonderful friend to her friends, a true pleasure to be around.  She's confident, funny, loving and straight to the point.

These two daughters, were loved and taken care of.  They were even respected by their parents.  They both have a loving family.

My Daughter, has a loving family.  (One down, big smile)  I really and truly want to lift my daughter up, not extinguish her light.  My daughter is my life.  I didn't give her life... she gave it to me.  

Bottom line, I am trying to give my daughter positiveness so that she learns positiveness.  I want to give her happiness so that she learns happiness.    I want to give her love so she learns love.  I want to give her a life for her to be proud of, so that one day she will be able to do the same for her children.

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on

But boys would be gone without the warmth from

A woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man

Looking out for every girl

You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will love like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers, be good to your daughters too

~ John Mayer, partial lyrics to "Daughters"

Blogging A to Z Challenge April 2012... What will "E" have for us tomorrow?

Blessings to all!!

64 days to go...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

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Day 117 ~ R...E...S...P...E...C...T...

Blinking cursor... blinking cursor... blinking cursor... for the last twenty minutes all I have been staring at is the blinking cursor while trying to find some inspiration for tonight's post.

I tell you... all I need to do is turn to facebook... and VOILA!  Presto!  WHAM-O!!  Inspiration!!

When I took a break from the blinking cursor dilemma, I decided to check out what was going on... there was something I read in regards to children, motherhood and life in general that got me thinking... hmmm...  

Why is it, [in general] a "person", whilst in the process of growing up, does not recognize the importance of their parents or the times they should have interacted with them more, until... more often than not, it's too late.  Is it a "right of passage" per say?

When the day comes that a person comes to the realization that they should have been paying more attention to life around them, their parents included... or even perhaps stopping long enough to embrace it all... is that the day that they have "grown up"... ??? 

I don't know if you want to call it a "right of passage" ... better yet, seems more like it's one of "life's cycles" to me.

Whatever you want to call it... there is something to be said for the lack of respect that today's generation shows their elders.  

What does respect have to do with this?   It has everything to do with this... If our children realized what we did for them, it seems that respect would be automatic.  They would practice it, slow down and embrace their parents and family more... with a sense of loyalty in tow as well.   Is it our fault as parents?   ... or ...  Is it the times that we are in?  

This certainly did not occur in my day, let alone in my predecessor's generation or earlier... well... come to think of it... we all used to get beat!  SO did we show our elders respect? ... or was it fear? ... the fear that we would get the "switch", "rod" or "belt"?  (wink, wink~ bringing back any memories?) 

All kidding aside... there is something to be said for having "loving-respect" for your family.  Respect is a funny "thing"... it goes both ways... just as you are selective in handing respect out, the other person can be more so.  

What would happen if you showed your children the same respect you yourself expected?   hmmmm... that would be interesting... 

Probably no greater honor can come to any man than the respect of his colleagues.   ~Cary Grant

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.    ~  Benjamin Franklin

Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.    ~  Leviticus 19:3

Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.    ~  Leviticus 19:32

 

Blessings to all!!

248 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.