Showing posts with label re-connecting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label re-connecting. Show all posts

Monday, August 22, 2011

Day 75 ~ The Stranger in My Son's Lives... Me

courtesy of Bing images
Back is still out...  (big sad/going stir crazy face)...  basically on bed rest... can't start my new exercise program... and with that the mind starts to go too!! Then I find myself chanting, "positive thoughts, positive thoughts.."  Then thoughts linger and wonder... Then the chants start again, "positive thoughts, positive thoughts..".  And then there's my little girl ... have to make sure she's happy and does not have needs and has a great childhood to remember.

Then, there's my car saga!   Come the 11th of September, it will be a year since we bought both of our cars...  Dean's has been parked at his dad's for several months, and my car... well it is now week no. 22 since my mechanic (the people who sold us both cars) has had my car...  this does not include all the other times he had my car in for repairs two to four weeks at a time... - they have had my car longer than I have!!



courtesy of Bing images
Okay, between you and I ...I am trying to stay positive here.   Being thankful for everything in my life, reading scripture and positive affirmations every day... making each day better than the one before... keeping our goal in sight... and taking one step closer to our goal each day.


I'm also thankful that my sons are [very] slowly coming back into my life.  Although, it continues to be very difficult to mend our relationship(s)... I will not stop until I have my sons back!


I keep in mind that they are men now, twenty-four and twenty respectively.  They are both not only trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives, but they are also starting to make decisions that will pave their paths into their futures.


courtesy of Bing images
What do I want from my sons?  Well that is simple...  I want to be a mother to my sons without obstacles, barriers or psychological poison (head games)... I want to be treated with respect, love... unconditionally... as I want to treat them.   


What I don't want?...  I don't want to be a stranger in their lives anymore.  I am tired of feeling insecure with them.  I feel as if I was walking on eggshells when I speak to them.  Why?  Well, first... don't want to make them mad... and I do not want to go such an extended amount of time without talking to them again.  (two years is a long time not to talk to your children.)


Please, understand one thing... I dug my heels in with my son- it was a matter of principle. ~~The pit of [long distance] parenthood ~~ 



Bottom line...  I am thankful for the time that I have to share a little of me with you!




For what I have received may the Lord make me truly thankful. And more truly for what I have not received.   ~  Storm Jameson
When you come upon a path that brings benefit and happiness to all, follow this course as the moon journeys through the stars. -  Buddha  
 Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive.   ~  Lucy MacDonald




Blessings to all!!


290 days to go



All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Day 52 ~ 48... the New 38!!

My 30th high school reunion was tonight... one word... FUN!  

What a great night!

I had been keeping myself busy up until I had to get ready, just so I wouldn't get anxious and cancel out.  Yes, in the past I have worked myself up so much that I actually would not go to functions due to anxiety of "what ifs". But, that is behind me now!

I was sporting a great new hair cut (and color), thanks to the future famous Chëlseá, I lost a total of 9 pounds (thanks to My Wii Fit 21-Day Challenge), and I was in a great place!

After battling the Southern California traffic on the 101... I finally arrived at the Sheraton Universal... Dean and Calley, well they were having and daddy/daughter day long date. Just as I arrived I saw a good ol' (not using the word in reference to our ages by any means!!) friend from school... she looked fabulous!!  Way to go Melinda! ... We were so happy to see each other,  not only because we were friends... but I think more so because we were "flying solo" and did not want to walk in alone.  NO! It's not like going to the bathroom with your girlfriend!  It's just easier walking into a function with a friend in hand, as opposed to making "an entrance"... and I am sooo not about that! 

Then... it happened!  I saw my SISSY!! and the shrieks all started!!!

I strongly feel that if it wasn't for Facebook, and the fact that I have re-connected with so many friends, as well as re-connected with acquaintances, who now have become dear friends... (let's just say I could not picture my life without them ever again!!) ... I more than likely would not have gone to the reunion.

So the Carlas spotted one another!! Thing one and thing two, as another friend calls us... and then there were so many other wonderful people. Carla has become such an important part of my life...a most definite "Angel" and part of my "Dream Team."   I feel blessed to have become friends with her later in life.  I strongly believe once again, that God works in mysterious ways and places people in your life when you need them most.  

Let me remind you all, and mention to others, that back in high school the only thing or person that mattered to me, was "Eddie"...  and because he wasn't part of this click or the other... and was loved by all, he did his things his way... He was the air I breathed... even the teachers knew!  LOL!  Anyways, it was too much for my parents to handle, so my mother sent me to Perú.  I had been told that I was going for a two week vacation, then once I got there my return ticket hidden from me, and finally found it in time for the senior prom, a year and a half later.  (There are more details to this chapter in my life, I just have to get the courage to share it with you.)

The point is that, the great thing about my night was that I really didn't feel out of place.  I felt as if I belonged.

You see, I was always the new kid in school.  After my parents divorced, we moved around so much... that by the time I was in high school, I had gone to thirteen different schools.  Not only that, but we even moved during junior high, still in the valley, but... well, just to clue you in, only 5 kids from my junior high went to my high school.  So, once again, the last school I go to, again, I come in and have to meet and make new friends, trying to fit in... and then most of the kids, well some had gone to school together since first grade, others maybe later, but anyway you sliced it, I always felt like the "odd man out.

Last night was amazing!!  I re-connected with such amazing friends from the past, and discovered that we all look fabulous for being 38!!  After all 48 IS THE NEW 38!!  Or at least this is what my generation is telling ourselves!  LOL!!!  

Seriously, we came to the consensus last night that our parents were much OLDER at our age... They weren't as involved in our lives, as we are in our own children's lives.  Most of us were allowed to leave the house in the morning, and personally, my brother, sister and I, always listened for my dad's whistle for when it was time to come home... by then it was already dinner time.


Today, well we drive our kids to school... we're scuba diving, boxing, working out, going on 5k runs... etc.  I wonder how our children, will be with their's... and what they will think of us.  Especially since most of them from eighteen to twenty-four already think we are ancient!  Can't wait to see what they think when they themselves are thirty!!
There are some givens in life that no amount of positive thinking can change. Aging is a fact of life. The wisest approach is to accept and enjoy the ride.  author unknown

Blessings to all!!


313 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.