Sunday, December 9, 2012

Day 550 ~ #IASundeserved

Sixteen days until Christmas!  Oh my!!
I think I am going to do something different on my blog for December all together.
  1. Last year I did the 12 days of Christmas, which I will do again starting the 14th- which I am sure doesn't make any sense starting on the 14th that is, but if you count the 14th, then the 25th is the twelth day.
  2. This year I was invited by Doug Bender to write four posts about his book Live Second: 365 Ways to Make Jesus First  from December 9th through the 12th . .
  3. Soooo. . .  I have decided that throught the 8th I would share the top Seven things I love about December . . . 
  4. And for the last six days of the year, a look back at 2012. 
Okay so here I start the first of four posts on Live Second: 365 Ways to Make Jesus First, see number two above.
My instructions are to:  1.) You select 4 readings within Session 2 (pg 37-66) of the book to write about  and 2.) During Launch Week, December 9-15, you write four (4) blog entries telling the story of your spiritual journey as you read and interact with the Live Second book and the four readings you choose.
My first post is from (quoted from the bookweek 6, Day 7: Undeserved

Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
—Psalm 103:1–6

Confession is the act of acknowledging God’s right to judge but trusting in his habit  to forgive. Nothing we do or say can obligate God to forgive. We cannot be good enough to earn forgiveness or perfect enough to not need it. But if we humbly ask for it, he gives it every time.
Talk with God
“. . . forgives all your sins . . .”
God, forgive me for . . .
I choose this particular day because it is perfect! . . .  just wait, you'll understand.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard, thought or been told "you need to forgive yourself."

In the interest of time, the only thing I need to "let go" or "forgive myself for" is for not fighting for my boys longer.  Funny thing is . . .  I did all I could do with the resources I had available to me; I always kept my son's best interest in mind; I did it all alone . . . and still I feel I should have faught longer.  I should not have settled.  I felt/feel that I gave in.  I felt cornered.  I felt alone.  So on and so on . . .  and so on . . . 
Dear Heavenly Father . . . 
You know all I went through with my boys.  You know that what I wrote above does not even begin to scratch the surface as to what my sons and I went through.  I also know that You know that I didn't lean on you then as much as I should have.  
I know now that I should have let you take over.  
I should say . . .  What I mean is . . .  
As I learn to walk with you and what it is to be your child, each day my faith grows more and more.  I know today that if I would have leaned on you more then. . .  allowed you to take the steerwheel in my life . . .  surrendered to you . . . that You, my Heavenly Father would have seen me through my fight for my children.
I know that I did all that I could do; I used all the resources available to me at the time; and  that I did not stand a chance against all the foul play that was going on . . .   
I also know that I can hold my head up high for always being honest and doing the right thing. 
God forgive me for being so hard on myself . . . for beating myself up for things I could not control . . . for allowing this to affect me to this day and for not forgiving myself (.) 
God forgive me and help me heal so that I can finally move on.
Finally, forgive me for not letting you drive. 
I surrender to you, my Lord. 
As I learn the importance of surrendering, I understand more and more about "faith" and the reality of being second.  

To truly put Him first and wholely surrender to him is what being second is about.

Part of my lesson here is that I really need to let it all go.  Let it go in a balloon.  Give it all to God.  I  understand that by surrendering to Him, I will finally be able to let go and heal.

Tweet using #IASundeserved to share your prayers.
Available in stores week of December 9th, 2012

[here's to you finding your... ]


I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

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