Day 76 ~ Just In Case I Don't Get A Chance to Tell You...

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Once again, I find myself wondering how to put what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking and above all, the love I feel for not only my children, but my Dino, family and friends ... to words.

There was something that caught my eye on t.v today...  next thing I knew someone was saying with such depth and love, "... we never know when we are going to go... any one of us ... at any time... if we'll ever see each other again..."

With that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity...

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Since the moment I laid eyes on all my children... I am honored to say that I was the first to ever kiss you... and from that moment on... well let's just say that "you had me at Hello..."  Funny... it won't be until they themselves are parents before they really understand how much I love them!  I have no problem waiting.  (big smile)

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As far as my family is concerned... each and every one of them have impacted my life in one way or another.  A bond has grown, without our choosing.  It's been said that "... we can't choose our family."  and then they also say... "...life is like a roller coaster... there's a certain high you're always on... that you don't want to get off." 

I guess you could say that, I would not be who I am without them.

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Then there are my friends... my "Dream Team."  Where do I begin?  ... What I can say, is that... I don't know where I would be without you, let alone, who I would be...  I cherish all our times together and keep them tucked away in my heart.  Each and every one of you have a place in my heart.  I don;t know if you know this... but...you have helped me, with your own strengths, how to grow within myself and as a result I have become stronger as each day goes by.

Above all I thank you for giving me the best gift of all... by believing in me you have helped me believe in myself!  Thank you so much for having "my back"!

I  just wanted to take this time to tell you how much you mean to me... and when the day comes ... when my number is finally called... please... please laugh! YES!! LAUGH!!!  (and have a drink for me  -  BIG smile!!)  I want you to tell stories, go ahead I give you permission to embarrass me!  LOL!!  Finally, please, let my children know of the wonderful times we had together... and while I watch them from above I somehow know that I can count on you to help me with them down here.   

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... as far as Dino... well ... he is such a wonderful person and deserves nothing but happiness... especially for putting up with me all these years!  LOL!!  (big smile)  However.. it would be nice if he missed me "just" a little.  (wink, wink)  - my attempt to being funny, again!

(big BIG heartfelt smile!) 

((((( big BIG HUG )))))

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.  ~Mother Teresa

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière

 Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.    ~  Grandma Moses

Blessings to all!!

289 days to go

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 75 ~ The Stranger in My Son's Lives... Me

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Back is still out...  (big sad/going stir crazy face)...  basically on bed rest... can't start my new exercise program... and with that the mind starts to go too!! Then I find myself chanting, "positive thoughts, positive thoughts.."  Then thoughts linger and wonder... Then the chants start again, "positive thoughts, positive thoughts..".  And then there's my little girl ... have to make sure she's happy and does not have needs and has a great childhood to remember.

Then, there's my car saga!   Come the 11th of September, it will be a year since we bought both of our cars...  Dean's has been parked at his dad's for several months, and my car... well it is now week no. 22 since my mechanic (the people who sold us both cars) has had my car...  this does not include all the other times he had my car in for repairs two to four weeks at a time... - they have had my car longer than I have!!

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Okay, between you and I ...I am trying to stay positive here.   Being thankful for everything in my life, reading scripture and positive affirmations every day... making each day better than the one before... keeping our goal in sight... and taking one step closer to our goal each day.


I'm also thankful that my sons are [very] slowly coming back into my life.  Although, it continues to be very difficult to mend our relationship(s)... I will not stop until I have my sons back!


I keep in mind that they are men now, twenty-four and twenty respectively.  They are both not only trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives, but they are also starting to make decisions that will pave their paths into their futures.

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What do I want from my sons?  Well that is simple...  I want to be a mother to my sons without obstacles, barriers or psychological poison (head games)... I want to be treated with respect, love... unconditionally... as I want to treat them.   


What I don't want?...  I don't want to be a stranger in their lives anymore.  I am tired of feeling insecure with them.  I feel as if I was walking on eggshells when I speak to them.  Why?  Well, first... don't want to make them mad... and I do not want to go such an extended amount of time without talking to them again.  (two years is a long time not to talk to your children.)


Please, understand one thing... I dug my heels in with my son- it was a matter of principle. ~~The pit of [long distance] parenthood ~~ 



Bottom line...  I am thankful for the time that I have to share a little of me with you!

For what I have received may the Lord make me truly thankful. And more truly for what I have not received.   ~  Storm Jameson

When you come upon a path that brings benefit and happiness to all, follow this course as the moon journeys through the stars. -  Buddha  

 Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive.   ~  Lucy MacDonald

Blessings to all!!

290 days to go

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 74 ~ Ouch! I Can't Stand Up!

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Threw my back out sleeping last night!  Yes sleeping!... How is that possible? you ask...  All I can say is that it is possible and I don't know how it happened... but it did!

So with that said... I am having a very difficult time writing.  I tried it sitting at the table... no, that didn't do it... lasted only five minutes.  And then after what seemed an entire production just to get my laptop set up so that I can write in bed... well I've managed to be able to last a little longer than the five minutes... but that's not to say that I am not in pain - because I am.

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Well, with all that said... Tonight's post will a short one, being continued in the morning (God willing.)  I am also going to go to bed thinking positive thoughts, so that when I get up tomorrow... I will be as good as new.  

I believe... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.  ~ author unknown

Nothing is impossible... the word itself says "I'M POSSIBLE"!  ~ Audrey Hepburn

 You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.  - author unknown.

Blessings to all!!

291 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.