Day 78 ~ The Truth Always Prevails

Wm. Shakespearecourtesy of Bing images

Shakespeare wrote in The Merchant of Venice "The truth will come to light", which was based on proverbs dating from at least the eleventh century.  "Truth will out" appears in this form by 1439. **

As centuries go by, nine to be exact, the quote has transformed itself to, "The truth always comes out in the end."

Even all those centuries ago, where to most of us consider it simply history and others find it to be surreal or almost dream like to have lived such a long time ago... regardless, Shakespeare was very wise on was on to something. 

Personally, I find it very deep and right on the money.  Doesn't matter how much time goes by, eventually, the truth always comes out.  More so after the deceiver has left us for greener pastures (at least they hope they went to greener pastures anyways.)

cbk

So, if you think that you have gotten away with untruths, think again... it WILL eventually come out, and then what?!

Whether your scared, afraid or just a habitual liar, please know that you ARE hurting others with your stories... however in the end, the person you are truly hurting is yourself!  

I'm sure there are situations, that out of true safety for yourself or your family you may tell a "white" lie... this is different.  I am talking about ridiculous untruths that are meant to hurt others.   

courtesy of Bing images

I have always told my sons, and now I am teaching my daughter the same...  "a lie can hurt forever... telling the truth only for the moment"... as I continue to explain it now to Calley... "when you lie, people will eventually not believe anything you say... when you are honest, you are trusted and hardly questioned."  I also would tell my boys... "a man could have all the money in the world, but without his word, he is the poorest man.  And a man without money, however with integrity and honesty behind him, can be the richest in the world."

So, when you have asked me a question or my opinion and you did not like my answer, at least you know that I was being truthful.  And please don't ask me if your butt looks big!

the worst thing about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth   ~ author unknown

Never forget what people say to you when they're angry--that's when the truth comes out.  ~ author unknown

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.   - Benjamin Disraeli

I'd rather be hated for who I am, rather than loved for who I am not.  - Kurt Cobain 

Blessings to all!!

287 days to go

**  http://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/appendix-faux-truth-come-light-out

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 39 ~ What is a Friend?

Courtesy of Bing images

Mirriam-Webster defines a friend as one attached to another by affection or esteem.  I can go on further by stating that a friend is someone who is there through the "good", the "bad" and the "ugly", without question. A friend can agree to disagree without a second thought.  A friend remains a friend through adversity.  A friend can pick up right from where you left off without reason.  A friend takes the time to listen despite a lack of interest.  A  friend  remains loyal and true to the core.

I have had so call "friends" come and go, and maybe that's good.  Why?  Well, it has helped me focus on those who I matter to, and those who matter to me.  In other words, maybe they weren't my "friends" to begin with.

Don't get me wrong, doesn't mean it didn't sting.  I have had people call themselves my "friend" and then have had them judge me for who I am, what I do or even where I live!  Or some that just do not have the same values and principles as me, meaning they didn't have any, and then stick their nose up in the air to me.

I met someone this past year and we CLICKED!  And, most of you know that "clicking" with someone does not easily happen.  It had been such a long time since that feeling, that I was literally walking on cloud nine!  We had so much in common too!  We had been friends for seven months when I had invited her to my home... I made her a birthday lunch.  We had what I thought was a nice time. 


However, as weeks went on I noticed she was not calling me like she used to. She wasn't texting me as she used to, etc.  Calley had started getting sick (again), so my focus was elsewhere.  I only noticed this change when others came up to me and in conversation, share the good times they were having together.

I didn't want to jump to any conclusions, but as even more time went on, I observed.  I saw that she was calling others, going out to lunch with others, etc. Those others, well the ladies drove a better car, lived in a nicer home, and their husbands were all professionals, doctors and so forth.  

Or how about the person that calls themselves your friend, yet at the sight of adversity all of a sudden does not respond to your emails or comments!  Not much of a friend I would have to say!  I would never do that to you.

Well, I have two things to say to you... first, is that I hope you never get a "friend" such as yourself! and final thing... ALL OF THIS...  IN A BALLOON... and GONE! 

Courtesy of Bing images

I do not need to prove myself, let alone explain why my family and I are in the position we are in now.  They can either take me and my family or leave us.... as far as I am concerned I do not need friends like that.  But it does not mean that it did not hurt!

Does this mean I should be more careful as to who I befriend?  Should I have to?  My mother would always tell me not to trust anyone that calls themselves my friend.  I never could, and never will be like that... if that was the case then I would be alone without camaraderie.  What a lonely life that would be.  And I am not implying that this is the case for my other either.

Well, maybe I should not wear my heart on my sleeve and put a wall up!

NO!! I will not!!


Happy place.

Courtesy of Bing images

What I will do though, is continue being the happy person that I am becoming, putting all of that behind me. Continue to be the friend that I am. [Show and teach my daughter to be the same.]  I am a great person. Sure I have had my ups and downs.. more downs than anything... and I will no longer let that affect who I am. (if you were my friend you would understand what I have gone through and not turn your back away on me.)
BUT NO MORE I TELL YOU, NO MORE!!!


THIS IS MY LIFE AND I'M TAKING IT BACK!!

I am a great person, with wonderful values, virtues, and principles.  I love laughing, and crying.  I am a passionate person.  I love with my entire being!  And can get angry with just as much.  I am sometimes too honest to a fault.  Regardless, I am very trustworthy!  I am devoted, compassionate, dependable, thoughtful and supportive.  I will fight for my friends and make time for them.  More importantly, I am a loyal friend  and will always stand by you, MY FRIEND!

So if you do not like my car, my house or what I am wearing.... WELL POO ON YOU!!  I can care less what you think, because obviously you are not my friend to begin with... and quite frankly I can do better.  I have better!  

Courtesy of Bing images

The friends I do have all know this about me, and love me unconditionally.  I know this.  Why, well.. after all I have been through, they are still my friends.

I love you all so much for always being there for me, for forgiving my attitude at times, and for understanding me.  You will be my friend until we are old and gray!!

My friends are ALL on my "Dream Team"!

The next time someone deletes you as a “friend”, ask yourself, were they really a friend?

I will not put myself on the "clearance rack" for anyone!

 You can always tell a real friend:  when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.  ~Laurence J. Peter

 Friends are kisses blown to us by angels.  ~Author Unknown

 Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.  ~Robert Brault

Blessings to all!

326 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 37 ~ I Only "Shop" the Clearance Racks!

As I approached my computer tonight, I was wondering what I was going to write about.  So... I checked into Facebook to see what was going on, and this is the first thing I read...

If you're NOT being treated with love & respect, check your "price tag". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's you who tell people what you're worth BY WHAT YOU ACCEPT AND EXPECT! Get off the "clearance rack" and get behind the glass where they keep all the "valuables." The bottom line is....."value" yourself more.  Re-post if you like...You might help someone get off the "clearance rack".

Ok.  Who's been tapping into my brain?  As I read this, the first thing that came to mind was... Where was Facebook when I was growing up? One thing is for sure, their founders weren't even born yet!!  OUCH!  How's that for a stinger!  LOL!


Ah, you know... I think what matters in the here and now is that I now know that I am worth more than I ever possibly thought.  And I will never allow anyone to treat me badly again, not even my boys.

February 1994, Seattle, Wa

I know I mentioned that my boys, (who are men now) and I have been estranged for the last two years.  Well is what happened... my eldest and I got into an argument because I had been talking to who was then the newest of the ex'es in his father's life, the woman that helped "his" father take his brother and he away from me.  He did not like it.  He reminded me of all the things she did to his brother and he, as well as to me.  And of course, all I could hear was "his" father trying to control me through him.


He proceeded to tell me that his father was the "one" that had always been by his side.  I quickly reminded him that "his" father did not communicate many things to me, lied to me, kept them from me, and he himself had been witness etc... and that I did not appreciate what he was saying.  I also remember asking him why it was okay for "his" father to make friends with a man that I used to see that was way more abusive, not only mentally but physically, but it was not okay for me.


Somehow my words were not heard, and what was "heard" was that I had disowned both of my sons.  


Now two years later I feel used, trampled on and very hurt.  Not only by my children, but by the woman who so deeply apologized for her part in taking my children from me.  I did forgive her then, but now... "she" has backed away from our friendship because I had told my son that "she" had been filling me in on things about them to help me out.  Did she expect me to lie to my boys?  I don't keep anything from my boys... "homie don't play that game!"  Well, I definitely do not need friends like that.  Once again she hurt me.  And that was the last time.


It is not that I chose to be friends with her, than to honor my son's request... It was a matter of principle.  I was not going to allow my son to follow in his father's footsteps.  I could hear "his" father talk right through him.  Would I do it again knowing that both my sons would stop talking to me for what now has been two years?  Probably.  Why?  Because I value myself more than that.  Besides what would I be teaching my sons?  It's okay to control women? It's okay to treat people the way their father does?  No, I can't do that.


What would you do?

Courtesy of Bing images

I know that I have missed out in both of their lives, let alone Calley, their little sister has not seen them since she two.  Now, the fact that they do not show me any respect, only drives me more to teach them what is right... even if it means not seeing and talking to them.  I would never forgive myself if I had not tried and then they end up treating others like this, let alone their wives.  


One day they will see how bad all of this was, how much time we wasted apart, and I hope and pray they understand why I did it.  I can not tell you enough how much I love my sons, I would do anything for them... but what I will not do is live on the "clearance rack"!!

My Worth as a Human Being is Unconditional

Blessings to all!

328 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 18 ~ Let Go, Let God!

This has just been one of those days.  I am feeling really conflicted right now, and am having trouble getting thoughts down- and this heat isn't helping anything either!  Just to give you an idea, it just took me a half an hour to get just these three sentences down.

I just thought to check what today's verse was...

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.    Phillipians 4:6

by CBK

It never fails.  When  I am in conflict or stressed and worried, and I reach for my Bible (or in this case, I went online,) I always receive a message.  Makes me think, quite frankly.  Makes me feel as if God is really tuned into me. 

So instead of going to bed feeling this way and mulling over everything that is going on, and what I need to do to fix things... I will pray for all my loved ones and be thankful for what I have, and I WILL LEAVE THE REST TO GOD!

On that note, I wish you all a peaceful good nitght's sleep.

Blessings to all.

347 days to go!

PS... Food for thought...  Everytime I have whole heartedly left all my worries to God, not only has a beautiful peaceful feeling overtaken me, but everthing eventually worked out for the best.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied without written permission from Carla B Karam- please just ask.  All views and feelings are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 13 ~ YES!!! I Had to Go There!!

The last couple of days have been a blur!  I have been totally consumed with getting my phone back.  Especially since I figured out who it was that found my phone... and she refuses to give it back!   Really?   I mean.. REALLY??!!!

I took a chance this morning and sent a text to my new found friend to see if she had any luck convincing her friend to return my phone.  

(If you are reading my blog for the first time or you didn't tune in yesterday... I suggest you read Day 12 first so you know what the heck is going on.)

Bottom line I told Jane, who by the way has a heart of gold and should not be judged by her friend's actions, that the offer was still on the table.  I just wanted my phone back; its of no use to this girl, especially since its been reported stolen.  But to no avail her friend wants to keep my phone!!

Honestly, I even tried pulling at their heart strings.  Telling them that Calley's medical history and all her doctor's information is on that phone.  I also even told her about all of my family pictures on it.  Which is all true.  Nothing!  If you want to see a full transcript of the texts, click here.

Needless to say, I shared this with my friends on Facebook.  I needed ideas.  I wanted to teach this girl a lesson.  I needed help, and I needed to vent to my friends.  

Well my friends, between posting on Facebook [and receiving wonderful support and ideas from my friends,] and texting Jane the right questions, I took a chance and I found out who the girl was that took my phone.  Name, picture, city she lives in, and a list of over a hundred friends, and I found it all out on Facebook!! 

However... the more I was being told that my phone was NOT going to be returned... the more I became Blackberry obsessive... the more the wheels were turning.  Then I called to make an insurance claim to replace my phone, and I find out that the deductible to replace my bb was $100!!   

OK... THAT'S IT!!!  I had been nice long enough!  I told my Jane to let her friend know that she had just under three hours to return my phone to the "scene of the crime" or I was going to go VIRAL myself!  Well not in those exact words, but you get the picture.  :)

SOOOooo... 1:00pm came... and...

First, I filled out a police report online.  I really doubt they will do anything, even with a name and confession.  But I did it anyway, and will receive a police report number within seventy-two hours.  We'll see...

Then, I wrote a message, a plea if you will.  Check it out here.  I sent it to all of her friends on Facebook, well at least the ones that didn't look like "trouble" ~ if you get my drift. ;) 

I did get one response from a cousin.  She told me that they didn't talk, and with that, she also said that her cousin would not return the phone.  Then added that she needs to take responsibility for her actions, and that she was sorry.

Finally, I called the local news channel.  I know, I know!  AS IF!  lol!!  No, but really I did.  

You know it's not so much the phone, what am I saying, it is too!!  BUT more so, IT'S THE PRINCIPLE!!  This young lady who is the same age as my eldest son, 23, and who is a STRIPPER, (AND YES I HAD TO GO THERE!!!) needs to learn a lesson in human decency! among other things!!!  She must not really like herself to be so mean, and really needs a little faith in her life.

courtesy of Bing images

So to my wonderful friend who always knows exactly what I need to hear... is this pillory enough?   [Not to insult anyone because I had to look the word up myself - how's that for honesty?]   Definition of PILLORY. 1: a device formerly used for publicly punishing offenders consisting of a wooden frame with holes in which the head and hands can be locked.

Now the other side of the coin...

In my gut I have this feeling that I should just leave this to God, and maybe I should.  However, is stealing or not being honest alright with God?  I know the answer to that... it was just a rhetorical question...

Nonetheless, NoNE of this is okay!!  Not the $100 deduction, not my phone NOT being returned... the fact that out of nearly one hundred people that I have contacted because of this girl ONLY TWO PEOPLE have replied to me and have come across with having some respect, values and integrity.

Can I NOW say that she has STOLEN my phone?  What do they say about a woman scorned?  (Another rhetorical question- haha, attempt at humor)  FORGET THAT!!   How about a woman that has had her Blackberry stolen!!!

Blessings to all!!

352 Days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 12 ~ Did I Make It? or Did I Mess My Goal Up?

Oh my gosh the last twenty-four hours have been weighing very heavy on me... I think I was handling Father's Day pretty good and then I discovered my blackberry missing.

After getting home from a long day of celebrating all the great dads that are in our family, I discovered that I couldn't find my phone.  I exhausted all avenues, looked high and low, dumped out my purse, called the grocery store and the pizza place... did it three times and then I had Dean look... we had nothing!  No one had seen or had turned in my phone.

Both Dean and I were calling my phone and nothing.  Then I decided to go online and check out if there had been any activity on my account... and viola!!  Two numbers I did not recognize on my account, phone calls and messages sent during the time I had been celebrating Father's Day and could not have used my phone.  I felt so violated!

I called my mobile carrier to confirm my findings, and to find out about the insurance on my phone... and I was right!  I'll have to wait to do something about the insurance on the phone, but for now I did shut it off, and reported it stolen!

Nonetheless all the unexpected CSI work took up time... next thing I knew I only had two hours to get in my Father's Day post on my blog before the day was over.  Without a second thought I immediately began on my blog... however, as I was writing I had a brilliant idea to text and call the numbers that were contacted.

Imagine this... time winding down to midnight and I received a response back from a young lady that knows who took my phone.  She began to tell me that the girl who had my phone was in her twenties and asked for her to lie to me. Let's call her Jane... Jane then told me that she was talking to me because I was being polite and she felt bad for me.

Talk about multi-tasking, I was trying to finish editing my blog and tug at Jane's heart all at the same time.  I was hoping to befriend Jane so she would get my phone back for me.  Only time will tell if it worked.

courtesy of Bing images

First thing this morning I even offered to buy Jane and her friend lunch if they would return my phone "back to the scene of the crime," the pizza place.  Well the day is now more than half over and I have not given up hope.

Now as to my blog last night... not only was it a heavy subject matter, [Father's Day], and at the same time dealing with getting my phone back, but then when I finally hit PUBLISH POST the time had changed to midnight.  So did I make my post in time??? It officially posted Monday at 0:00 ...

My goal is to blog everyday for 365 days, did I totally mess it up last night by not getting it in by 11:59pm?  Well for as much as I feel as I may have failed... the perfectionist in me...  I am not going to give up that easy! ... the fighter in me!!

Blessings to all.

353 days to go!


All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.