Day 540 ~ Friendships & Integrity

This can be a subject that can take you through thick or thin . . .  better or worse . . .  in sickness or in health . . . 'bad hair' days . . . 'best news in the world' days . . . 'best day in my life' days . . . 'heart ache' days . . . 'break-up' days . . . 'love at first sight' days . . .  as well as all the 'you can count on me' days . . . and 'I need a friend' days.

Almost sounds like 'vows,' doesn't it?
Friendships can be like marriages . . . just as complicated and just as rewarding.

more on this tomorrow . . .   

Yesterday's post ended just like that.

Some people feel that 'good' friendships just happen . . .  without effort . . . picking up where you always leave off.  I have a couple of friends where months can go by, even years at times, and when we speak next. . .  well . . . needless to say it was as if we had not skipped a beat!  Love my girls!

Then there are friendships that. . . well . . . you wonder . . . what the . . . where did . . . huh?!

I met a gal a handful of years ago, in passing.  Next thing I knew she was around every corner.  She would claim things about me where I would say "what the . . . where did . . . huh?! . . . "  I guess you could say that she made herself my best friend.

Weeks and months went by, with apprehension and hesitation on my part, well . . . I did not turn my back on her, I was there for her.  I figured she needed a friend.  After all she was in a bad place in her life.

After a bit more time went by I felt her dominance, even putting words in my mouth that were no where near the words that needed to come out of my mouth.  She would say one thing, and then leave me hanging with her actions . . . time and time again.  She would say how important I was to her, yet would think of me last or leave me out all together.

Well to make a long story short this person that called herself "my {Christian} sister for life" did a very ugly thing.  She even came across thinking that she was better than me, talking down to me.  {and} . . . 

For the first time in my life I did not let this person know what I really thought.  Funny.  Yes I am chuckling.  Because most of my life when push came to shove I have never held back from letting anyone know what I really thought.  SO, yeah, it's funny.

Bottom line . . . I did not allow myself to go down to her level.

But, an even more BOTTOM LINE than that . . . she truly hurt my feelings.  Everything she had ever told me . . . [bottom line] were all lies.

Regardless of how a person may initially feel about another person . . . how they treat you when they are friends with you and when they are [I guess] angry with you . . .  well it all leaves an impression, a mark.  Which can hurt.

What hurts even worse is that I had given this person my word that I would help her . . . that I would look out for her . . . even including her in my 'master plan' whole heartedly.  I was going to watch out for her and her needs.

I said that "friendships are like marriages". . . "just as complicated ... and rewarding."

When a friendship has found its "end" . . .  it hurts.  You have shared with this person. . . opened up to this person and shared personal thoughts . . . and regardless of initial feelings you called this person a friend and grew to count on her.  No different than sharing with a spouse and counting on them to always be there.

Marriages and friendships alike can be very rewarding . . . painful . . . fun . . . humbling . . . loving . . . eventful . . . and so much more.

Above all, the most important thing to remember in a relationship is to treat others how you would want to be treated.  If we always can remember this golden rule . . . we should always feel loved and be happy. . . regardless of its journey or destination.

It all comes down to integrity.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.  ~Luke 6:31

I am thankful for my wonderful friends!!

What's coming up?   Hmmm.... 

I think I see another challenge off in the near distance. . . 

December 9th - 15th

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 539 ~ Friendships & Marriages

As I am sure that you have gathered by now. . .  I haven't been feeling too hot this week.  Gosh darn allergies!!  I guess I should be grateful that up until we moved to this part of the country I never knew what allergies were like.  

One word . . . YUCK!

Yes . . . my butt was handed to me on a platter this week and was not even able to handle day light let alone sitting in front of my lap top. . .  it took all of my energy to post what I did end up posting!  lol!  Call me wimp if you want. . . I don't care . . . I felt like crap and was barely able to  keep my eyes open, let alone take my Calley-girl to school each morning.

Ok . . .  enough venting and whining.  Big smile.

Needless to say that when I wasn't sleeping or blowing my nose, my thoughts were getting the best of me.  Maybe not getting the best of me. . . let's just say that the subject matter was very thought provoking.

I thought about "friendships" . . . 

This can be a subject that can take you through thick or thin . . .  better or worse . . .  in sickness or in health . . . 'bad hair' days . . . 'best news in the world' days . . . 'best day in my life' days . . . 'heart ache' days . . . 'break-up' days . . . 'love at first sight' days . . .  as well as all the 'you can count on me' days . . . and 'I need a friend' days.

Almost sounds like 'vows,' doesn't it?

Friendships can be like marriages . . . just as complicated and just as rewarding.

more on this tomorrow . . .   

I am thankful for the handful of good friends in my life!!

What's coming up?   Hmmm.... 

I think I see another challenge off in the near distance. . . 

December 9th - 15th

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 425 ~ #17 of My 30 Days of Truth

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 17:  Name a book you've read that changed your views on something...

4 words...

"The Five Love Languages"- How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate... by Gary Chapman

I can not speak highly enough about this book.

I strongly feel that ALL couples BEFORE they get married MUST read this book - TOGETHER!!

This book really has opened my eyes to a new way of understanding humans, love and relationships.  

Unbeknownst to me, not everyone speaks the same love language and this book helped me .. first, know that... secondly, understand it... and finally, interpret it.

I would not want to spoil it for you... 

I can not tell you enough how much it has changed my life!!

I KNOW it will do the same for you.

My love language, acts of service and receiving gifts.  My husband's, quality time and physical touch... he loves back rubs.  :)

What's yours?

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  ~ 1 Corinthians 13:5-8

Where I've been and where I'm going next...  

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.

Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 : Write a letter to a hero that has let you down.

Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.

Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 417 ~ #10 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.


I didn't need much time to think about this topic today.


Quite frankly, everyone in my life is who I want in my life.  All others have been weeded out through natural  process.


Funny that just sounds so scientific.  LOL!  But seriously...  there have been plenty of times that I have been sad because I don't hear from one person or another...


Then I read this quote... 

If someone wants to be a part of your life they'll make an effort to be in it, {so don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay.} ~ author unknown (looked and looked for the author :( but to no avail was never found)

This quote really clicked inside me.  It put so much into perspective.  A real "AHA" moment if you will.


No sadness here... none whatsoever... the people who want to be in my life... well they are a big part of it... and those that don't.. well they don't matter and it's no sweat off my nose  wink, wink.  Quite frankly it's their loss.  


Amen.

“What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.”  ~ Eleanor Powell

what's next? ..

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.

Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 416 ~ #9 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but drifted away.


I have two answers... 


... sure there are many friends, childhood friends, that I wish time would have stood still for... or better yet we remained as close as we used to be...


However...


Once again... after much thought and consideration... as mentioned... I have two answers...


My first answer is my parents... there was a day and time that I felt secure in their love, life was so innocent.  But starting with their separation and then their divorce... well... our family fell apart... grew apart... and was never the same again.  We definitely drifted away.


My second answer is my sons... with my sons... well there was a day and time that we were like peas and carrots... never apart... then came my separation from their father and then the divorce... well... our family fell apart... grew apart... and was never the same again.


The only difference from my parents and my sons, is unlike my parents and I... my sons and I still have a chance.  {and} I will do whatever it takes to one day have my boys back.


My parents and I... well my father passed March 31, 2006... and my mother... well she left me long ago or rather because of her OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and whatever other ailments, as well as her obsession with my sister, her bipolar behavior, her antics and ailments of her own... well let's just say that there isn't any room in her life for me, let alone my family.  So sad.


So sad indeed.  But the way I look at it is that she is the one missing out on some really good quality people- my children.


Although I am really doing my best to forgive both my parents {a constant work in progress}, my focus is and will always be my children... my sons and my daughter.


SO all the while my boys and I may be experiencing a little distance between us at the time... this is only temporary....


This too shall pass.

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. ~Psalm 127:3

what's next? ..

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to 30 Days of Truth!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 414 ~ #7 of My 30 Days of Truth...

My 30 Days of Truth challenge   I will admit that I changed one question and changed a few curse words... other than that the challenge is intact. 

Day 7: Someone who has made your life living for.

Having given this much thought... I would have to say my children. 


For many years my sons gave me strength... they were and still are my reasons to live.


However I have to add that in more recent years, five and a half to be exact... I have to say that my daughter Calley has been my saving grace.


Seems that my relationship with my sons has, for a lack of a better description- has seen its better days.  I constantly have to work at it and not give up on them.  I do want to say that my eldest and I are working on reconstruct... no not reconstruct, but rebuilding our relationship.


So as I was saying, Calley has been my saving grace... because without her I don't know how I would have managed my lack of a relationship with my sons.


Finally, with my husband at my side... well let's say anyone {else} in their right mind would have left me years ago!  LOL!  In all honesty Dean has had to see me go through a lot of pain... and I thank God everyday for him.


I thank God everyday for my husband and my children.

what's next? ...

Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 : Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 : Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 : Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 : Something you hope you never have to do. 

Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 : Someone who made your life hell, or treated you horribly.
Day 09 : Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 : Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 : Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 : What do you think of religion?  Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 : Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 : (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 : Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 : Name a decision you made that caused a chain of events that would not have happened if it wasn't for that decision.
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hey if you want to join along... well let me know in a comment and I'll visit your challenge each day.  We could even link up our blogs.  wink, wink.  No.. seriously we could.

Here's to my 30 Days of Truth challenge!

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 405 ~ Do You Have Life's Tools?

All I can say is ... WHAT A DAY!!

Funny how life happens... you can have your day planned.. you can even have your week planned... but then right when you think things are flowing... Life happens.

All it takes is for one phone call or a text and WHAM-O!  TA DAAA!!  

Hello... this is life... and just in case you thought everything was fine... well ... here I am!

Can you guess this is what happened to me?  Yup.  It did.  The last couple of days.

All that needs to happen is for me to get is a phone call, text, a cry for help... and I drop everything for my loved one.

Doesn't matter if you are a friend or blood relation... I will move heaven and earth to help you.

My heart literally aches, at knowing that one of my loved ones is in trouble.  I always have to refrain myself from giving advice and focus on the situation at hand.  However no matter what... my goal is to help my loved one out,  get them out of harm's way and into happy bliss.

NOW... to those people that love to harm others.. who actually go out of their way to hurt people... who feel that they need to act on their thoughts or frustrations... who behave like complete idiots...  well... WHAT THE H3LL is wrong with you?

I know that misery loves company... but this is ridiculous!!

I just don't get it.  Why do people hurt other people... people who they claimed to have loved (for crying out loud... you actually told these people YOU loved them!)... people who you broke bread with... people who were supposedly such good friends that you considered them your family... Why?

It is said that there is a fine line between love and hate.  Really?  It is also said that it has to do with intensity, emotion and passion... no different that there being a fine line between pleasure and pain.

I don't know.  Maybe it's all part of human nature?

I am not saying that I am a perfect specimen of a human being... YEAH RIGHT!  LOL!  After all Lord knows that I too have loved someone so much that when there has been a disagreement, fight or falling out... well... I too have thought or rather have felt that anger.  BUT... I have never acted on it.. at least not on purpose.  

I'll be the first to admit that I have said ugly things (derived from you hurt me, now I am going to hurt you...) but after the dust settled... I have felt horrible about what was said.

All I would like to say is that if you have loved someone at one point in your life and they have disappointed or hurt you... it is not necessary to HURT them back.  Just let it go.  If they insist on being ugly... well that's on them... don't lower yourself to their level of non-intelligence.  Let it go.

OH I KNOW... it is easier said than done.  

However... do remember this... we all have been born, raised and have experienced different things in our lives... even within your own family.  

Not only that, but we all have different types of family support... some are caring... and some that could care less... some are encouraging and supportive... others, abusive, demeaning and full of hatred...

{and} When we co-mingle, date or even get married... we are joining our pasts and upbringing together.  It can be healthy... and then... well... we ... should have ... ran the other way!  ;)

Those of you who have been raised in a loving environment,... understand that you have been given better tools than those of us (yes I am included in this bunch) that were raised in the opposing environment.  

With that said... fortunately or unfortunately... depending on how you look at it...  those of you that were blessed with the proper tools have to decide on whether or not you will extend those tools, or rather,  the "love" to those who need it... or regress into the dark side.

Personally... I have been blessed with a husband that was blessed to have been raised in a loving environment.  {and} I feel sooo blessed that my husband loves me enough to share his tools with me.  [He is patient with me and walks away when I have had {for lack of a better description} a temper tantrum.]

I feel so blessed that my husband understands where I came from... he is patient and understanding... he also knows that I want what he wants... a healthy upbringing for our daughter- the most important person in our lives together.

One day Calley will join with her loved one and create a family of her own... We need to do our best so that one day she will be her best.

I am second.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.