". . . This is my beloved, and this is my friend . . ." (Song of Solomon 5:16b)
Friends can be completely honest with each other, but friendships are strained when truth is not spoken in love. How are you speaking to your beloved? Are you so "used" to him that you don't appreciate the wonder of his friendship? That is your challenge today. Is your sweetheart your best friend? Does he know this? Have you told him, or do you assume he "just knows"?
Friendship is something that is cultivated through the good times and the bad. Friends can share their hearts, but they don't step on each other's hearts. The way to have and be a good friend is to cultivate and celebrate the relationship. As you end this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," celebrate your friendship with your husband. Get alone and reflect on your beloved friend. Write him a letter, listing the qualities you admire and appreciate about him. If you are creative with words, write and frame a poem about him.
. . . prepare a special meal, just for the two of you . . .
Encouragement, as you have seen these past 30 days, is a synonym for love in action. How has this challenge changed your heart and life, dear friend? Did God encourage you as you planned ways to encourage your husband? Were there difficult days where you simply needed to trust that God was working? Days when it was hard to leave the results to God?
. . .
What kinds of victories have you experienced in your home since you started the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge"? Would you take a moment to share these victories with us?.
The biggest and best part of the challenge...
HOLD IT!!!! Let me stop right there. First off this was called a "challenge." Right? Some would think and wonder 'how can "encouraging" your husband be challenging?'
Well let me tell you... I was to do this for 30 days straight regardless of mood, temperment, emotion, right, wrong, bad or good moods... for 30 days straight I was to "encourage" my husband. All positive. Regardless if I was mad at him or not I was to "encourage" my husband in a "positive" way each day. I was not to say anything bad to him or about him to anyone.I will be honest, I did have a couple of rocky days... I really did! On "those" rocky days, It took all of me to bite my tongue and keep my thoughts to myself and follow with my encouragement.
I know ... some of you may think "are you kidding me!? I would have let him have it!!" ... at the mere mention of not speaking your mind someone close to me said, "well, then I will never marry! I have to speak my mind!!" ...
I can completely, 100% understand what you mean! I am all about being heard and "talking" about "feelings", being honest with one another.
But after experiencing this challenge, I have learned a couple of things.... 1) it's not about being right or wrong... it's about being happy!!...choose your battles and 2) that there are nice ways of getting one's opinion across without being "rude" or "heard" in a negative way..
It is about learning how to communicate "outside the box" without supressing your own feelings without conflict.
All in all it has been a positive experience which has left positive changes in my marriage.
You know part of misunderstanding is one's marriage is because we "expect" things from our spouse. I only "expect" things... as an example... this one instance with taking out the trash. If you are walking by a pile of boxes that are evidently going out to the trash and you are leaving, can't you take the initiative to grab the trash on your way out? Does everything need to be said?! Can't it be left to good logic? "If I am on my way out the door and I walk by a pile of items that are headed for the trash. . . gee I think I'll help and take them out. 'honeyyyyyyyy?!" ....-calling out to ask if the pile is heading out...
I have stopped "expect"-ing and that in itself has brought peace to my home.
After all. . . isn't it about being happy? Is the "trash" really worth getting in a fight over? I don't think so.
Listen, for me it can be the "trash" or "laundry"... for you it could be "getting off the couch", "yard work" or even "helping with the kids" . . .
Bottom line. . . because of this 30 day encouragement challenge my husband's love tank is full. He is happy. He is even helping more. {and} I am asking for things to be done in sweet creative ways, along with my continued "encouragement"...[ that's right, I have not stopped encouraging my husband because the challenge is over ] our home is a happy home full of laughter, joy and happiness.
I am blessed.I am thankful for my best friend, my husband!
[here's to you finding your... ]
Peace...
I am second..
... for a, l & c. You are my sunshine(s).
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2 comments:
I almost always behave right, but your posts make me think nicer. :)
Husbands really should be appreciated. It's a good challenge!
I still have not started the challenge. Seems every time I think, "I'll start on Monday" or something, he'll end up having one of his irrational pouty mean fits, and God help me it's all I can do not to go on attack mode, let alone think of any thing nice to say to him. Yet, I haven't given up on doing it. Just biding my time and waiting for the strength to do it.
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