Day 502 ~ Support EachOther (XV)

Day 15 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ...." (2Peter 3:18a) 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

Sometimes we live so close to our spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband's faults. But take a step back. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to appreciate. How can you encourage his growth in a fresh, new way? Remember—your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder that growth.

Can you identify an area of spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly? Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can identify a specific area, praise him for that. If not, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of spiritual growth in the future.  

Day 15 ! . . .    

I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

One thing I must say about my spiritual growth...

My husband has been by my side the entire way!!

I feel so blessed to have a husband that is so supportive.
He cheers for me from the sidelines the enire way.

He has supported my continued involvement in our Church...
He supports my every decision when it comes to the betterment of my psyche...
He even supports me with my decision to start a not for profit corporation to help others.

My husband may not be as involved as I am in my ventures...
However, that does not mean that he is not by my side...
Furthermore, as time goes on and The Blessed Spoon grows and other projects come about...
I am positive that my husband will be by my side,
and more and more involved.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 261 ~ Thank You For Lighting My Candle

I must admit that I have had a couple of tough days... the kind that not only drain you physically, but emotionally as well.

If you were to have told me a year ago, that not only would I be blogging on a daily basis, and that it would have such a positive impact on me, my family and life... I would have looked at you and thought you were absolutely nuts!

Let me tell you!... I have not only learned so much about myself in the last eight months+, but I have also worked through "issues", grown some, accepted the past, learned to like myself, found some esteem, and so much more.  I have grown to love who I am, faults and all... as well as learned to forgive myself and others.

I want to take the time out to share my "high and lows" from this experience thus far... just so you know, I like saving the best for last... 

my lows... well, I would have to say that my lows have been, recognizing, facing, as well as accepting mistakes I have made in my life.  As painful as facing some truths about myself have been (which is the "low")... The experience also turns out being a positive as well.~ a bonus.

my highs... no question about it!... it has been all the wonderful people I have met along the way, as well as their support and prayers.  Through my blogging, I have had the privileged of crossing paths with wonderful people from all over the world... and I have gained some insight from the experience too.  

All I can say is that this experience has been a sincere blessing in my life... I am so grateful.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.  Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.  ~ Albert Schweitzer

Blessings to all!!

104 days to go...

PS... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s). 

Some images courtesy of google images.  Others are marked accordingly, and are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back Life ~ Making It My Own, this blog.   All U.S Copyright laws apply.   ©

Day 101 ~ Found the Dimmer Switch

At first I wanted to, not apologize, but say how disappointed I am in myself for ranting, feeling sorry for myself, and for being so negative.

Then, I started to rethink things... my life experiences and the manner in which my family (the family I was born into) opted to pass on to me all of their... let's just call them "quirks".

Well, I can almost bet my life on the fact that I am not the only person on this earth that has undergone similar situations.  And If I, in some small way can help someone else, sympathize with them, even empathize with them... just so they do not feel so alone and possibly understood.  Then I really think that this will help me heal as well.

One last sad note on the subject... not one of my maternal* family members (that I was born to) ... shows concern, and from what I am beginning to understand, really doesn't care about what I have to say.  Oh except one of my cousins -who from what she had to say, indicated that she not only knew better than I because she is an "MD" [oh brother], and also thought she knew what I, myself experienced, better than myself because her father, my uncle, told her that my mother shared it with him... 


Now bare in mind that I am at least fifteen years her senior- and we did not grow up together, not even in the same continent, and no disrespect to my mother or uncle... but my mother embellishes the truth quite a bit... oh and not only that but the perspective of an adult is going to be completely different than a child's... 


Let me ask you this Gloria... did your father ever tell you that my mother, your adoring, wonderful, loving aunt, would not allow us to touch or kiss her unless we all bathed.... or that we had to wash everything we purchased from the grocery store prior to putting it away... or how about witnessing your father having (in the act) an affair with the maid?  Just curious?  Or how about the fact that your wonderful, adoring grandfather dangled my brother from his feet out of a second story window?  just because he was saying hello to a neighbor?  (Oh and I have more stories too!  But I am so over it now!!  I am a survivor and will not allow any of this to define me!


I was there all those times and witnessed it all!  Argue that one!  Actually there is no argument... because I LIVED IT!


So as far as I am concerned, you have absolutely no clue as to what happened to me, and being as smart as you claim to be, I am really surprised that you do not follow through better on information you hear.  You should always check your resources!


I have just filled a balloon... double tied it... and it's has floated into the atmosphere!!  Never to be seen or heard of again!  

I can not tell you how blessed I am!  Many of my friends reached out to me yesterday...  and many times I did not answer my  phone- couldn't stop crying and feeling sorry for myself ... and at others, just the mere fact of texting helped me a lot.  What did slap me in the face was ... that family does not mean that you have similar DNA... they are there for you through thick and thin, and once again my Dream Team proved it!  

SO... there are two things I can do...

1. Continue to be angry, bitter, feel sorry for myself, knowing that I do not have any camaraderie or support from my family.   ~ OR   ~
2. Do something about it!  After thinking about what I want from my life, what I need to do, and the healthy daughter I want to raise... I CAN DO IT! 

I found the light switch... it's on dim, but at least it is on.  And I will be turning the light on brighter and brighter.

I am starting to find and understand a "drive" within me... however, it isn't so much that I want to be successful (ok... you got me, I do!), but most importantly I do not want to let anyone down that I may able to help.

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."   ~ Euripides

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway."  ~ Jerome Cummings

 "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."  ~  Walter Winchell

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."  ~ Helen Keller

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."   ~ Mark Twain 

Blessings to all!!

264 days to go...

*Funny how the negative always stands out in our minds...  I I How we often focus on the negative things that happen to us... When we should be grateful for what we have. 

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.   

Day 98 ~ Logan... A True Blessing

Mommy & Addison 1989

It was 1990 and my life was somewhat complicated.  I was twenty-seven years old, and had been taking part in a one sided marriage for over four years... (meaning I was the one married- and he was still... playing the field)... the blessing of it all... was that I had a beautiful two and a half year old little boy, I called Addison.

My marriage was going through troubles; I came home one day to find my home had been emptied and forced into a separation that lasted for six months. (What a p.o.s.- he moved out while I was at work!)  I had always told myself that until I could honestly look at myself in the mirror and honestly say I gave it my all, that I would stick it out..


A couple of months later, I had arranged a birthday party for Addison's third birthday at Chuck E Cheese, and it was there that my aunt and uncle had put a bug in my ear... they mentioned that I had a glow about me and that I looked pregnant.


Shortly after my aunt and uncle's suspicion was confirmed... I found out I was pregnant with my second baby... a complete surprise... a blessing in my eyes!!  So this told me to give our marriage another change. 

Becoming overwhelmed with joy with wanting to share the beautiful news with the man I loved, the man thought I would spend the rest of my life with, the father of my children... his response..."WHAT! Are you trying to trap me? You planned this!?" on and on... after a while I was numb to what he was saying.  RED FLAG NUMBER ONE!!

What! was he stupid or something!?  We had already been married nearly five years and already had a beautiful little boy... Trapped? What an idiot!!


Oh my... I can not even begin to tell you all the thoughts that were going through my mind... my mind was going a mile a minute with overwhelming thoughts.  Let's just say that this conversation did not end pretty... and if anything it should have taken notice to RED FLAG NUMBER TWO!!


Compared to my being pregnant with Addison... this pregnancy was the most horrible experience I went through!  with the exception of having Addison by my side.


Bret was so much a part of my first pregnancy; talking to the baby; playing with my belly; going to all my doctor appointments, etc..


When it came to my pregnancy with Logan... All I can say it that I thank God for Addison!!  If it wasn't for my sweet little boy, I would have gone through it alone!, Bret called me fat, made excuses for not going to doctor appointments, never touched my belly or talked to it... however I later found out that he had plenty of time for extra curricular activities! and his attention was going elsewhere.

As time went on... Addison, well let's just say he was my bestest friend ever!  It wasn't about me having another baby, it was about Addison becoming a big brother!  He went to all my Obstetrical/Gynecological (OBGYN) appointments with me- when appropriate of course.  :)  He was there for the first time we saw our new family baby, first heartbeat and even when we found out he was to have a "little brother"!

When I was about five months pregnant, Addison and I had been looking at baby names in one of those books with well over 20,000 names..!!  for his little brother, and we came across "Logan" .... strangest thing then happened, Bret came home moments later he was telling us that he had seen the coolest name at the gym... "Logan"....  Guess what LOGAN it is!!!  


As a side note, Bret tried changing Logan's name several time, and Addison and I said NO!  Our baby is Logan!

Literally, the next day, I had been doing laundry... came across an infamous "little black book"... and as all good wives would do, I read it... RED FLAG NUMBER THREE!!

After a few hours of getting my thoughts straight, I found myself having having a very enlightening and lengthy conversation with this lovely lady... I came to find out that Bret had told her that Bret and I had been separated for months, about to divorce, and that I would not allow him to see our son except for every other weekend,- I even went as far as sharing with her that we were expecting child number two!  RED FLAG NUMBER FOUR!!


When I called him out on it when he got home from work...Can you believe it, eventually, in his defense, somehow in his crazy mind, he said it was my fault that he had his "little black book"

ONE WORD---->  WOW!!!

After all, at this point, I was five months pregnant with Logan, and we were making plans to move into a bigger home in Valencia.

Addison 5 and Logan 1-1/2

This was not the first incident like this... once we moved to Valencia and Logan had just turned one, I found out that Bret had been having six month relationship (which I later found out he continued it for another year, including having dinner with her parents, fixing their cars..etc) with another woman, who by the way could care less that he was married and had two children... RED FLAG NUMBER FIVE!!

Three months later, I ignorantly made the decision that we should go ahead and move to Seattle....  S T U P I D --->   S T U P I D ---->  S T U P I D !!! It only continued there!  Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!

By the time Logan was two, we had filed for divorce... even with the experience of my own parent's divorce, seeing things I swore I would not do....  

Addison 19, Logan 15, Calley in belly
Mother's Day 2006

Bret on the other hand did not allow anything to stop him... all he cared about was destroying me, my relationship with my boys... parent alienation, perjury, getting his neighbors to lie, friends to lie, sabotaging my car, getting me fired from a job, lying to my children, brainwashing my children.... and so much more...

Why do I bring this up tonight.... well, I have not been able to speak to my son.  He does not answer my calls or texts.  Does not return calls.  Does not call when he says he is going to.

Something is wrong,  A mother knows.  I feel it.  I feel it in my heart. 

Dear Lord;  I am giving you my son, Logan.  I ask that you watch over him.  Be his conscious, help him do right and turn his back to all wrongdoing that comes in his path.  Please soften his heart and place good Christian, positive people in his path and his heart.  

Logan, without you in my life, a big part of my heart, soul and life is missing.  Without you in my life, I am not complete. 

A Prayer for my Son

 Almighty God,

Watch over my child.

In an age of violence, teach him peace.
Fill his soul with harmony rather than discord.
Protect him from injury, harm and sudden death at the hands of others.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
In an age of materialism, selfishness, and greed,
Let him see beyond the things of this world so that he may see a glimpse of things spiritual.
Let him value others above himself.
Let him seek wisdom above wealth.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
In an age of lust, let him know love.
In an age of gratification, let him know restraint.
Keep him sexually chaste and self controlled.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
As he grows, guide him.
As he stumbles, hold him.
In his times of anger, love him.
In his times of fear, touch him.
In his times of foolishness, teach him.
When he strays from your path, retrieve your lost sheep.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
Do not grant all the desires of his heart,
But grant all the needs of his soul.
Let him know sacrifice and discipline
So that he may know strength and faith.
As gold is placed in fire to be refined,
Give my child pain and suffering
So that he may lose those things in his heart and mind that are harmful to his soul.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
Give him love for the beauty of the world you have made.
Give him love for the family and friends.
Give him love for the stranger in his midst.
And above all, give him love for you,
That he may know you,
Serve you,
And glorify you.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
Forgive his parents when they have failed in the nurture of this child,
And quiet their worries and fears.
May they, trusting in your love for their child,
find rest and peace in the knowledge that you are with him.

Amen.

Blessings to all!!


267 days / 38 weeks to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.  

Day 42 ~ ♪♫• Ch...ch...changes... ♪♫• (turn and face the strain) ♪♫•

Just finished up my sixth week of writing... and so prepared for whatever my seventh week has in store for me!

Courtesy of Bing images

Today, I got up and realized that if I wanted to be happy, I needed to do something about it!  I immediately called for Dean, and shared my discovery...  "What have I done?!  I can not go back to where I was teaching.  I was miserable there most of the year... and became more grouchier as the year advanced."...not only that... "We can't place Calley in public school because she is too young and "they" won't test her for another year"...

The decision was made... I will be home schooling Calley this year...  We can't put her in a pre-k class- she will climb the walls and be so bored (she knows all the material)... and we can no longer afford to the school she was going to...  We will all be much happier this way!

Courtesy of Bing images

I dropped the bomb on everyone today... and then got busy with housework... sorry ...

What will I do?  ...   Will I follow my dreams? ...  

Well one thing is for sure... I want to be happy... and I want to have positive people in my life... and quite frankly, I have to respect not only what I do- but who I work for.  

My life is a joy filled with love, fun and friendship all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open.

When I believe in myself, so do others

 I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.

Blessings to all!

323 days /  46 weeks to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent. 

Day 40 ~ ♪♫•Feeling Good! ♪♫• Just the Way That I Should!! ♪♫• So Good!♪♫•

Even though I have been at a standstill on my "weight loss challenge" the past three days... I am not going to let that, or anything else discourage me from doing what I am absolutely LOVING!!

Courtesy of Bing images

I was a little disappointed when for the third day in a row, I had not lost any weight!  ...great thing about that was, that I did gain any either!!  


Luckily I kept pretty busy today with an unexpected appointment, which thankfully kept my mind off of the "stand still" I have found myself in.


My day ended on a great note after seeing my father-in-law!!... he asked me in such an excited tone as to how many pounds I had lost... "so what are the numbers?"  I hesitated and responded with a little frown on my face... "I haven't lost any in the past three days, haven't gain anything either though." 



My father-in-law was like an "instant cheerleader!"  He told me not to worry about it and to continue with my work outs, not to get discourage, etc... and that I CAN DO IT!! 

Goes back to what I was telling you about how blessed I am in regards to my family!!  My father-in-law is so awesome!!  This man sets such a wonderful example of a Christian man, father and husband for all his children, myself and Calley included of course!  


He advises me, does not judge me, and when I have stuck my foot in my mouth, has looked the other way sort-of-speak!  I call him "Dad"... because that is what he is to me!!  And he respects me as well, even when it comes to Calley.     

Today was a great day!  I felt great about myself all day long!  

Faith isn't something I must have before I move in the direction of my dreams.  Instead, it's something that develops after I start moving.           author unknown

Blessings to all!

325 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 38 ~ Calley, My Gift From God

This morning while I was working out Calley was busy.  I could see that she was drawing, but I continued to focus to my workout.  Next thing I know my little girl came up to me to show me what she had drawn, and I asked her to wait three minutes so I could finish doing my "set".  Waiting for her is like an eternity too!! Finally when I finished and saw what she had drawn, I couldn't help feeling bad for making her wait.  

"Mommy Exercising" by Calley

"Here mommy this is for you so you can put it on your blog," she said ever so sweetly in her little Minnie Mouse voice (yes, she has a little Minnie Mouse voice!)  

She drew me exercising!

I love this little girl!! so much.  She does have her moments like any other four and a half year old, however on top of that, she is the absolute most curious little girl ever!!!  She asks more questions, than both her brothers together did!  Always touching what she's not suppose to, constantly getting into my things, but I am not complaining!

Just to clarify Calley was planned... yes call me crazy!!  I do.  I waited for her for such a long time.  After having been taken away the position, role, honor, of being a mother to both my boys, I prayed for the right man to come into my life (Dean) and that he would want a child.  It took sometime for both, but finally my blessings came one at a time!!

There is a fifteen year age difference between Calley and my youngest son, and Lord knows I FEEL it once in a while... However it doesn't matter how you slice it, Calley is my greatest gift (in more ways than one).  She brought me back to life again and motivates me to be the best example for her.

She's quite unique.  Calley came into my life at a point that I appreciated her more than anything in the world!  It took a little convincing, but finally on Valentine's Day, before our third anniversary, we found out we were pregnant~!

By one and a half she knew her alphabet, and in ASL (American Sign Language) as well- I taught her how to sign with Signing Time on PBS channel.  She learned well over 300 hundred signs by the time she was two.  She knew her colors and shapes, and started pre-k short of her fourth birthday (always being a year younger than all her classmates, yet at the top of the class in reading).

Today, instead of playing after breakfast while I work out... she gets on her own "work out" clothes- basically shorts and a t-shirt like mom, gets her wii controller, a water bottle and gets in front of me and mimics all my moves!!

This is so awesome... I have always cooked really healthy for her.  I nursed her until one, made her fresh baby food, all her juices are cut with water 50/50, no sugar! (her Halloween candy lasts all year- she gets a piece once in a while- no doubt Dean and I eat more of it that she does!)  To this day... NO SODA! and drinks Almond, Coconut Milk, sometimes soy milk.  

Such a girly-girl!!

And now, she joins me working out.  Runs with me with the running exercises, and gets on the floor and does sit ups too!  She's such a great caregiver.  Always asks me if I'm doing okay, I don't know what would give her the impression that I wasn't okay... maybe it's all the water I am sweating or even how I just down the bottle of water in no time.  Today I thought Oprah had taken over the both of us... by the way we were yelling.. "let's go girls.. keep up.. right, left, right.." while doing advance step on my wii Fit Plus workout, all in that Oprah way of cheering with that voice of hers! and Calley?  Well she was yelling the same way... HYSTERICAL!!

When it comes to my blogging, this little girl is the most supportive person ever!! Usually she does not see me blog, because I do it after she goes to bed. However, she does discuss it with me.  She asks what I am writing about, and of course I tell her of all the positive things I am writing about... and somehow knows that it is not only important to me, but that it is helping me.  Well, I have been walking with a spring in my step lately.

Daughter are angles sent from above to fill our heart with unending love.
-- J. Lee

Blessings to all!

327 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

Day 34 ~ Blogging... Good for the Mind, Body & Soul!

Tomorrow will be five weeks since I have been writing.  At the risk of sounding redundant, I never knew I would be feeling like this. 

Today was a good day.  I have not touched the subject of another blog... well guess what... for those of you that do not know... I have started another blog!

Crazy? No.  My second blog~ "My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge",  is a short term blog, hence the title.  I will be writing it for only 23 days.  I am challenging myself to loose 15 pounds in 21 days, and it also includes health and cooking tips. The first day was an introduction and the 23rd day will be a conclusion statement.  

Before you shake your head, read it!  Then if you want, you can shake your head. ;)

My first blog... is good for my soul,  and my second one is good for my body.  Both of my blogs together, are great for my mind!

As a result... well let's just say that I am starting to feel pretty good... not just physically, but emotionally too!  So much so... that I am feeling proud of myself for the first time in my life!  

Courtesy of Bing images

With all that said... today I was told by mom Gene (my mother-in-law,) that she was proud of me.  Needless to say, she too is on my "Dream Team".  Earlier in the day, a very dear friend of mine, Diane, who is also on my "Dream Team" wrote to me and said "thanks for opening up and sharing so much of yourself to the world. You are an inspiration!"  I cried then (happy, proud tears) and once again I am crying now.  She's even going to get her wii out of the garage!   YES!!

It's not that I need recognition, after all I am doing this for myself and my family, but let me tell you it sure was awesome hearing!!  

Therefore, between both blogs... I am really standing tall today!  

Courtesy of Bing images

Thank you Jesus for the strength and knowledge you give me each day!!

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.   Colossians 3:17

Blessings to all!

331 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.