Day 259 ~ The Night Before Becoming a Mommy

Today I spent most of my day enjoying my children.  I would absolutely love to tell you that I had them all together with me... but regretfully so, that wasn't the case.

Although I did not have my children with me physically today... mentally and spiritually my children are always with me.

I did not want to, nor did I allow myself to think about the fact that my sons are not with me...

Instead, I thought about the first time I saw each one of them for the very first time... making sure that all their fingers and toes were accounted for, and then being the first one to kiss each one of them.  What a blessing.

Tonight I sit here, lovingly thinking about the night before each of my babies were born.  Each time, being just as nervous, no different than the time before, with the exception of  my first one of course... Please bare in mind that all my babies were "c" section babies and I knew when they were going to be born.  With my first baby I had no clue what to expect, and it was very exciting.. but with my other two babies it was a little more nerve racking because I knew what to expect.

The night before my babies were born, I remember there being so much hope and so many promises in the air.  So many uncertainties, so much to look forward too.

Twenty-one years ago tonight, I was scared.  I was a little confused.  Wondering how a mother has enough love for all her children, let along how she loves her children equally.  Wondering where a mother finds so much love?  Will I love my Logan, as much as his brother? 

Once I laid eyes on my baby boy, once I held my baby boy and felt him next to me... I felt at ease.  Uncertainties... no more!  I felt so much love for my baby boy and felt that I could handle anything with him and his brother at my side.  

His big brother?  Well, when he walked into my hospital room to meet his baby brother for the first time... it was as if my baby boy grew over night!  And there I sat with both my boys!

One thing I was not counting on as my role as a mother was the fact that my heart would now be wondering around outside of my body, and that the slightest little threat on my children would make me turn into a crazy woman!  Let alone the unlimited love that I would feel for my three children.  

The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.  ~ 1 Timothy 1:5 (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7  (NIV)

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.  1 John 3:18 (NIV)

 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.  ~ Proverbs 23:22 (NIV)

being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience  ~  Colossians 1;11 (NIV)

Blessings to all!!

106 days to go...

PS... for a, l and c.  You are my sunshine(s).

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