A little over two weeks ago I shared with you how "passionate" I am... lol!! Okay... my anger issues. (click here to catch up)
Okay... let me set something straight here... I am not a mean person. I have always been very very kind... unless someone hurts me or my own... then that's a different story.
But what I have noticed in the last couple of years, thanks to Perimenopause, is that once in a while my evil twin comes out of nowhere, reacts and takes over. What's more is that there are times that I remind myself of my father, his response(s) towards me... his ugliness.
I am not ugly as he was, but it is a little eerie. Sometimes I hear his words coming out of my mouth... and I come to a screeching stop.
I blame my temper on all the bad things that have happened to me, the bullies, my father, and my sons' father. I am not trying to make excuses or point fingers... however through my "passionate" class (anger management class) I am learning about my "triggers"... and those triggers are situations that present themselves that bring up old issues or unresolved feelings.
Now... I stand by my belief that what is in the past is in the past and I can not do anything to change it... today is today and I will not allow my past to rob the happiness of my today or tomorrow.
I can't dwell on past issues... BUT I can learn from those experiences to make my today and tomorrow HAPPY!
In class, we are using Gary Chapman's book Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way. [Gary is the same author that also wrote the Five Love Languages. (Love that book!)]
Gary does use scripture for the foundation of how to handle anger. At first I was a bit skeptical being that I have spent years on therapy couches (LOL- got to laugh about this today wink, wink) However, what did I have to loose... after all it was scripture.
One thing that I have learned, which is also common sense, is not to act on anger... sit on it a bit and try to find out more information as to why something upset you. If someone did something, more information is needed... and when speaking to a person, always do so in a loving way.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands,that they may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. ~Ephesians 4:25-32
[here's to you finding your... ]
Peace...
I am second..
... for a, l & c. You are my sunshine(s).
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2 comments:
It's not easy to manage ones anger. I too am learning how to do so.
God sure leads the way. I'm trying to listen and follow what he has in store for me.
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