Day 206 ~ In With the New * Hello 2012

Okay.  All done.  With what, you ask?  I have just prepared myself for 2012.  I have written down all I want to say good bye to of 2011... read it out loud to myself... and burned it all!  A lighter was a little more accessible than a balloon [to place the note in it and then letting it go].  See Day 7.

1. All negative thoughts of my past
2. Things I can not change or control

.

Then, I took another piece of paper... made a list of what I want for myself... and placed it on my fridge.

1. Stay positive (if a negative thought shows up, replace with two!)
2. Continue to work on being healthy
3. keep BlogGinG!!
4. Make My Life My Own
5. Work towards that book of mine...
6. Do one thing each day to better myself
7. Date night once per month
8. Family night once per week
9. Tell my family I love them each time I see them (already do this)
10. Be a better wife, mother, daughter, and above all be a better friend
11. Keep laughter in our lives each day 

In my lifetime I have made plenty of New Year's resolutions... succeeded in some... and in others... didn't do so good or the resolution sort of just faded out.  I either always wanted to loose weight, be happy or find the perfect man.  Or all of the above.  You know, the important things in life.  LOL!! (my last attempt at humor this year)  

As years went by, life just got to the point that at the end of each year I did not even think of making a resolution.  Didn't even cross my mind.  Didn't bother.

This year so much has happened.  I feel that my life has turned around.  I feel that nothing but good lies ahead.  Full steam ahead!  TooT!  TooT!  

Seriously now.  I know that everything may not be perfect now, and it may be a while before it is.  But... I have decided that being negative... crying... closing off from the world... laying in fetal position... well it has not gotten me anywhere... nor has any good come from it.

Why not give it a shot?  Why not be positive?  Why not wait for the good to come from the bad that has crossed my path?  And most certainly... Why not give a happy childhood to my daughter, along with healthy habits to make her a better person... a better woman.

So I say hello to 2012!  I welcome you with open arms.  I am excited to see what we can accomplish together... and all the good that will come from it.

A Happy New Year from my family to yours!  May all your demons be gone... and may all your dreams come true!  

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and auld lang syne (days of long ago)?

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

Robert Burns (25 January 1759 – 21 July 1796) 

Blessings to all!!

159 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are courtesy of Bing images.

Day 205 ~ Out With the Old * A Look Back At 2011

SO here we are... at the end of another year.  As I sit here and look back at the entire year, only one word comes to mind... PHEW!

Seriously now, I am going to say that this year has definitely ended on a great note!!  It may have started out as a continuation of prior years, but at about half way through I made a decision that ended up changing my life forever!  Come with me and take a look see at my "condensed" life in 2011.

As I look back my January started a little rough.  I was still working at my daughter's school and had been put in several uncomfortable situations there.  The staff at the school was awesome, a couple of wrinkles here and there, but all in all I worked with some pretty great people.  Our boss on the other hand... how do they say it in the south with that naughty southern twang... God Bless her.  That is all I will say.

Our February here in El Paso started off in a cold freeze.  Our city shut down, lost power and water due to freezing temperatures.  We were in the teens for several days.  That was a real experience.  Pipes were frozen all over the city causing mayhem at local hardware stores.  Bottle water was no where to be found.  We were lucky there... when it first was starting to dip in temperature, I ran out and bought around six or seven cases.  We were set.

March, April and May went by fast being that I was buried at school.  I was extremely busy with putting out the year book, along with other presentations I had to put together for end of year activities.  And it did not help any that my year at school ended on a sour note due to issues there.  I had made it a rule of thumb not to work for another woman in prior years, what made me think this would end any different. 

Low and behold June came around.  By the time June arrived I was at a very low point, and was looking forward to our trip to Los Angeles at the end of July.  The only thing that had kept my spirits up for the past year when I was down was popping in Julie & Julia in my dvd player. 

The movie had some sort of pull on me.  I think it was the slight connection to Julie, being that I wanted to write a book (for nearly 20 years now) and she wanted to be published.  I know that wanting to write a book and wanting to be published are not exactly alike, however I felt a similarity and a pull.  

This is where unbeknownst to me at the time, I would make a decision that would turn my life around!  I decided to blog.  Although very intimidating at first, I was soothed at the thought that I would commit to doing it for a year as Julie did in the movie.

I had issues.  Unresolved issues.  Many of them.  About forty-eight years worth to be exact.  Not only that but the lack of both my sons' presence in my life has affected me as well.  I thought that by writing my blog I could somehow show my sons (Calley, other family members, and friends too) who I was.  Tell them of our past, my past, explaining who I was so they would know me one day.  At first, as I look back, I started angry.  I was hurt.  

As time went on I started to notice that there started to be a difference in how I was feeling all the way around.  I was getting all this garbage off of my chest, being fair and honest to everyone involved, but I was getting it off my chest!  It was like going to therapy everyday.  There would be a day or two I would unload and then I would feel for elated for the next few days afterwards.

in July I challenged myself to prepare for my 30 year high school reunion by writing My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge where I "extreme" dieted for 21 days. I exercised my butt off and ate healthy for three weeks and blogged about it.  I only wish I would have started it earlier.  Why?  The last week of my diet was the first week of my vacation.  Not a great ending.  I only met half of my goal.


Returning from Los Angeles in August, left me expressing my feelings about where we live, wanting to leave the area within a year.  Yet, through blogging I have also learned to communicate with my husband better.  Don't ask me how, but yes it happen.  In doing so I discovered that my husband loves it here in El Paso.  You see he did not grow up with his father or brothers... and to live here now, a handful of miles away from them... he's happy.  It's a wonderful thing to have a great family.


Following the death of our Nana August 28th, I have grown even more closer to my mom (mother in law) and dad (father in law), let alone my brother in laws... Let's just say that we are not thinking of moving any time soon. (big smile)  I have decided to permanently shelf the idea.  Having a wonderful family can be a negative, just as much as it can be a positive.  I wish I could move and take care of us all!  

This past fall has been a whirlwind.  Our family has undertaken the responsibility of getting Nana's estate taken care of, including the sale of her house and all it's contents.  This in itself was a learning experience.  Let's just say that when it comes to shopping, I always ask myself "Want or Need?"  If it's a need, we will buy the best to be able to pass it down to our children.



Since July, I had not been feeling satisfied about not reaching my goal on My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge.  It prompted me to rethink the whole dieting thing and the fact that I was not in my 20s, let alone 30's and was almost done with my 40s.  I do not have a need for being completely skinny minny, but I do want to feel and look good.  SOOooo, on the first of December I started My LifeStyle ReDesign.  A healthier approach to dieting.  Actually, it's not a diet in itself.  I have to modify the way I live a bit, get on the right track, to be the person I want to be.  Eat and live how I want and look good too.  Body, mind, soul and spirit.  



For the first time in my life, I have gotten to know who I am... and I like myself.  I have forgiven myself for mistakes I have made in my life, as I have even forgiven others as well.  This has been an enriching and enlightening experience.  I am looking forward to see what the next six months has in store for me.

Dean and Grandma Betty ~ March 2004

*** At approximately 3:15 mountain standard time on Saturday December 31st our family's matriarch, Dean's grandmother Betty Karam, became on of Jesus' angels and was reunited with our dear grandfather, her beloved Ted Karam.  God Bless you Grandma.  We will always carry you in our hearts.



2011 is the year I took back my life and am making it my own!  

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

~  Dale Evans Rogers

Blessings to all!!

160 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... first two images are property of Bing images, third property of Sony Pictures and last four are property of Carla Barila Karam, Taking Back My Life - Making It my own, My wii Fit Plus 21 Day Challenge, My LifeStyle ReDesign.  All Copyright Laws apply.

Day 204 ~ Good Byes Are Not Forever

After spending two weeks in the land of what were you thinking and the city of Christmas bliss, today I decided to take a breather.   Today I came home to a little reality or not.  I reacquainted myself with the going ons of Landview, Pennsylvania.

Well most of you will immediately think, there is no such city in The Keystone State.  I will beg to differ, because on the long running ABC soap opera One Life to Live it very much exists.

Back in September, along with forty plus years worth of fans, I said good bye to All My Children.  It was  sad.  I started watching ABC soap operas back in the late 1970's as a teenager, never thinking that one day the majority of them would be cancelled.

Now, I am preparing to say good bye to my One Life to Live family.  Yes, family.  After all I did grow up with them, and All My Children too.  It was comfort to me.  I could count on them to make me feel better about my own life.  

So in its last days of airing, I am on the edge of my seat.  I can't wait to see how they will wrap up the show.  I just hope that the writers used the extra time they had (compared to All My Children writers,) to good use.  All I am saying is that it seemed that All My Children's writers were not given as much time, and in my opinion it showed in the story lines.  I just think that they could have been a little more creative with the endings to each story line.  Hmmm, wonder why they both did not end in January.  

The last day ABC's One Life to Live will be aired will be Friday, January 13th, 2012.  Honestly, I think I will have a harder time saying good bye this time around.  When All My Children ended I was okay with it.  More so because a new online network was to continue airing All My Children and One Life to Live.

With much disappointment, in my preparation for tonight's post I came across some bad news. Unlike to when All My Children ended, this time around watching One Life to Live will be a little more final.  It was announced November 23rd, 2011 that the production company Prospect Park was not able to get financial backing for the online network and at present time has announced that after months of negotiations, they have exhausted all means and will not move forward with airing the continuation of both soap operas.

This is a sad day.  At least back in September I had the hopes of seeing all the family on All My Children, which made it all easier.  Almost as if I was looking forward to the next season.  Well, this is not the case now.  But for now, what I do know is that as of now, we are definitely saying good bye to One Life To Live for good.

Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again!
~Author Unknown

Blessings to all!!

161 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Bing images.

Day 203 ~ A Message For Someone In Need

Did you ever see a love one falling and want to pick them up.  Or you see an accident about to happen and you cringe at the sight.  As an outsider to another person's life, we sometimes witness self harm by others and want to help... even wonder as to why someone would inflict pain upon themselves, slowly even killing themselves in the process?  What would you do?  What would you say?

This is my message...

I sit here looking back on our time together after so many, many years... so many years of turmoil... so many years of being at odds... so many years of being played against one another... and I am saddened.

Life's experiences leave a "mark" on a person.  Not only that, but you can even say that each experience changes a person just a bit each time.  Whether good or bad, life's experiences makes us who we are. and/or rather who we end up being.

However, we are given choices.  At each moment in our lives, we are free to make choices.    Down to the toilet paper we use.  You know what? Sometimes we are even given too many choices.  We, as citizens of the United States, pretty much can make decisions for ourselves.  We are very fortunate to have the choice of how we want to live as well.  Now I know other variables come into play, but let's just keep this simple.

Now... generally speaking, there are life's boundaries, parameters, rules, laws... however or whatever you want to call it... bottom line being, we need to be respective of one another, and of one self.  We can't harm one another or one self, either.  If someone was hurting someone else or even themselves, what would you do?  If I heard or saw something violent or harmful, I would call for help.

I see the sadness in your eyes...  I see the loneliness...  I see the pain...  I see life's "marks" on you.  I also see bad choices.  I see how those bad choices affect our life together, time spent together or lack of it.

When I realized that expectations were made by all for time to be spent together, and that I could not control the choices you made, I was saddened even more.  On top of that, I discovered that I became a tad angry because I really did want that time together~  quality time.

Excuses can be made and stories are changed each time they are told, but a person's actions speak loud and clear and are seen by all.  There were moments of our time together that brought a smile to my face.  A moment that I saw  a strong willed, beautiful giving person.  However the time was short lived.  It was evident that a choice was made which transformed your being and your spirit.

I pray that you find the courage to see what has been seen by all, before everything golden that has been gained, is lost.  I pray that you find the faith to believe that YOU do have the strength within yourself to do anything you set your mind to.

Choose to live.  Choose to love.  Choose to experience life as it should be, embracing life's treasures as you experience them.  Choose to have faith and hope.  Choose to give it to the Lord.

But whatever you do... foremost above all, do choose to do it for yourself, for your happy self.

With all my love and faith... 

That is what I have to say.

Excuses can be made and stories are changed each time they are told, but a person's actions speak loud and clear, and are seen by all.  ~ Carla Barila Karam

Blessings to all!!

162 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back My Life ~ Making it My Own.  Copy right laws apply.

Day 202 ~ Reaching Out To You

I can't believe it!  My blog has reached a smidgen over 9,000 views!  From coast to coast, with only a hand full of states of which my blog has not been read in, let alone all the different countries all over the world that it has... I am truly humbled.


I thank you so much.  Why?  Well you have given me motivation and incentive to write everyday.  I once received an email from a friend making sure I was okay when she had seen that I had not post to my blog yet.  I either had trouble sharing it on facebook and was so late that day... since then, I have only been late posting to facebook a few times because I had fallen asleep at my laptop before sharing ... oops.  I had been writing from bed and was extremely tired.   


Seriously, the more views I get, the happier I am.  Why? Because this increases the possibilities of being able to reach out to  "someone"  in need.   "Someone"  in need of a friend and or understanding.  A friend that not only can say that they understand what that  "someone"  has gone through, but has gone through it herself.


Well, that's me.


Asking for a lending ear is a hard step to take.  Embarrassment comes into play at the thought of sharing what one is going through... however, once that step is made then it makes it easier for the next step.   Accepting help.  


I know that if "someone" accepts help, it may in itself make "someone" feel as if they are surrendering to the hardship they are going through... but that is not true.  You are not surrendering to it.  What you are doing, is not allowing it to take over you.  By accepting help, you the, "someone" is taking control and taking away the "power" that the so called hardship has over you.


After that, the next step... just keep looking forward!  Look forward, because we can not do anything to change our past.  However, we all know that we can learn from the past.  Then take what we learned, and use it to help us make a better tomorrow for "someone."

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.  ~Mother Teresa (Agnes Gonxha Bojarhiu)

Blessings to all!!

163 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back My Life ~ Making it My Own.  Copy right laws apply.

Day 201 ~ Christmas & The Day After

Awe.   The day after Christmas, always such a let down.  After such hustle and bustle, holiday cheer in the air... it was here and now it's gone.  (big sad face)  I always used to wish we could stretch the day out, you know add a few hours here and there-  just so it didn't seem like it went by in such a flash.  

Actually, I am sighing with relief!  Finally!  The rush to get everything "Christmas" perfect for everyone, you know the right gift, the right decorations, food, etc.. it's over.  Not to mention the actual "big" moment... the moment you actually start to cook your family's Christmas meal.

I cook the green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and onions and white sauce.  My mother and father in law take over the turkey and yams.  And our beautiful cousins bring the desert!  We've been doing it this way ever since Dean, Calley and I moved here, and we have gotten it to a point that it all flows so harmoniously.  Except this year we somehow forgot all about the gravy.  YES, the G-R-A-V-Y!  How the heck do you forget the gravy?  Especially when there are two people planning the meal!  Ai-ya-yai!  However...

Once again... our dinner... was (and the choir sings out) AWESOME!!

So, now what?

Well, there were the after Christmas sales.  For the first time in a long time, I didn't rush out early to grab something up.  Calley and I showed up late morning, around eleven, very curious to see what we would find.  I think between the first moment we walked through the doors at the local Target and walked out, we set a new record!  We were in and out within a half hour.  At one point I turned to Calley and said that there wasn't anything grabbing at me.  Nothing that I HAD TO HAVE.  A lady turned to me and chuckled in agreement... and I just said that I was at a point in my life that I ask myself... "Is it a want or a need?"  She could not agree more.

Now... for New Years!  ...

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.  ~ Abraham Lincoln (American 16th US President (1861-1865))

Oh... I have to point out "D-A-Y  2-0-1"   ...   Can I get a "WHOOP, WHOOP"!

Blessings to all!!

164 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are courtesy of Bing images.

Day 200 ~ Happy Birthday Jesus

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given, 

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

~Isaiah 9:6

Here's to you, hoping that your Christmas was spent with those you love and plenty of good food.  

May Christmas be in your lives all year long.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
...   twelve drummers dancing
...   eleven plumbers piping

...   ten years of music

...   nine cousins playing

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing

...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans 

...   our little girl, we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

165 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are courtesy of Bing images.

Day 199 ~ Happy Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas to my sons.   

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Clement Clarke Moore (1779 - 1863), excerpt from his famous poem Twas the Night Before Christmas

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

...   eleven plumber piping

...   ten years of music

...   nine cousins playing

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing

...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans 

...   our little girl, we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

166 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images are property of Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.  Copyright laws apply.

Day 198 ~ Enjoying My Snow Day

What a day! ... Just finished wrapping a ton of gifts.  Do not ask me how I ended up with a ton of them, because it wasn't like I did a bunch of shopping.  Okay, and money does come into play as well- not like we had a ton of it laying around either.  

Doesn't matter how you look at it, I feel blessed that we even have some gifts under our tree.

Then there's tomorrow... I just finished my plan on what I need to get done tomorrow... and it is not pretty!  

I have the line up of all the cookies Calley and I will be making tomorrow.  Comes out to be around fourteen dozen.  Yes I said fourteen!  But, I am only making about six or so different kinds... my famous oatmeal/raisin/pecan cookies, my signature cinnamon roll cookies (I will not be sharing this recipe, just sayin'), turtle cookie bars, and fudge.  I know fudge is not a cookie, however I am making it.  A Christmas time must.  I know there's one or two more, but I do not want to get up to get my to do list.

Why am I making so many?  Well, it's the ultimate gift this time of year.  Right up my alley.  Which means, that I will enjoy baking and cooking with Calley most the day; giving treats is easy on the pocket; and it spreads love and joy.  What a great way to give and spread cheer!  

Oh, and I haven't even mentioned what I am dreading to do on my list and have tried my best all week to avoid... going to the store tomorrow!  Y-I-K-E-S!!!  I discovered that I need just a few more stocking stuffers.. just a bit shy.  Darn Christmas stockings!  (don't want the stockings to be all skinny!)  Oh and I need just a tad more butter and sugar for the baking.

AY! That's not the half of it... We woke up to snow this morning, which does not happen every year in western Texas, let alone at Christmas time.  So Lord knows what the roads will be like in the morning.  Ideally, I would love to be at Target right when the doors open, and then hit Sam's on the way back home, stopping only for dog food.

Question of the hour... What will the weather bring us tonight?  How will it affect my morning?  (I know that was two questions, not like I'm in the 9 items or less line)  Goal is to be back home by 9am... What do you think?  Whatever way it goes, I will have fun and be safe.  After all it is Christmas Eve tomorrow, which only brings more festivities in the Karam family.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.    - Burton Hillis

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,

...   ten years of music

...   nine cousins playing

...   eight years of lovin' 

...   seven days of singing

...   six months of blogging
...   five rooms plus more

...   four loving dogs

...   three cook books

...   two ceiling fans 

...   our little girl, we call Calley

Blessings to all!!

167 days to go...

PS... I love and miss you boys.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshines.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied.  All accounts herein are written by Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent or protect me from the guilty.  (just kidding...wink, wink)

Picture credits... images courtesy of Bing images.