Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Day 329 ~ What!? No Tone? Just Ask.

Have you ever said something and had it taken the wrong way?  Better yet, can you tell if someone misunderstands you when you are speaking face to face to them?  Usually you can tell by their response or that whacked out look on their face... (slight sarcasm) and it can be remedied  with a mere explanation, right?  Right.

Now... have you ever written something with the intention of meaning one thing (white) and have it taken completely wrong (black)?  Not that THAT has happened to me, but close enough.  

I have found that when I am face to face with someone and (of course) I am tuned in to their responses, body language and tone in their voice, and I can pretty much respond immediately to any misunderstanding.  [Okay, so there have been a few times I miss the cue and don't get it until that night... BUT...] I immediately back track, and explain myself.  I will even draw pictures if I have too.  (sarcasm, trying to be

That is face to face.  Simple enough, right?  Right.  With writing... IT'S ANOTHER STORY!!  

As a writer (because I do write my blog, therefore I am a writer- I say this because one of my fellow bloggers was told she wasn't a writer... WHAT!!!  SERIOUSLY!!??  That's exactly what I thought!) my main goal is to get a message across to my reader. That includes s-a-r-c-a-s-m, humor, coloring words, emphasizing where needed and being sympathetic when called for.

However, sometimes that is not enough.  HELLOOO! (sarcasm). As shown, I have started implementing descriptions within parenthesis to avoid misunderstandings.  Not only for the reader, but myself as well.

When I am writing, it's as if I dictate to myself... I talk in my head, and I type what I hear.  {I think it's funny}... If you ask me, it sounds crazy.  Whatever I hear, I write, tone and all.    {It's as if I have little voices in my head! oooooo ooooo (trying to be funny, with a little sarcasm)}  After I'm done, I usually re-read what I have written and emphasize tone and meaning and adjust accordingly.  Then I hope to God I didn't miss anything and I get my message across AS INTENDED.

I don't know about you, but I can be silly, sarcastic, goofy and love life to be fun.  
SO with that said... I certainly hope I have gotten my message across.  Sure, I know that I have my opinions, as do you.  Right?  Right.  {I thought you'd agree with me.}  (attempt at a little humor,with a chuckle)

Honestly, I just want to be understood.  I mean no harm.  No harm to anyone.  If anything I want to help! (big smile)

SOOOOOO... if by chance there is a day that I may have forgotten a parenthesis or two, or didn't color my words... PLEASE do not jump to conclusions (not even in real life please) ... PLEASE ask.  Email me, ask me... "Carla, what were you thinking?  Did you mean...?"

Real life is no different... if you don't get it OR if you think.... "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!"  (little humor) PLEASE... please ask.  Not just if it's me... if it's someone you know... ASK.  Sometimes you may think that you understood one thing, and after asking ... you find out how off you were.  More importantly, you avoided a HUGE misunderstanding.  

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.  ~Albert Einstein

Understanding is a two-way street.                                                                  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

It isn't until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are - not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within - that you can begin to take control.  ~Oprah Winfrey

Blessings to all,

36 days to go...  

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own.  U.S Copyright laws apply.  © 2012


Ashleigh said...

Unfortunately, it is so easy to lose tone in text, and sarcasm can easily come across so cold. As a member of generation Text Message, I have to come up with creative ways to convey my tone without the overuse of smilies and exclamations.

For what it's worth, I find you very easy to read. Maybe it's because I've been reading your blog for so long now, but I think you are quite clear. :)

Carla Karam said...

Ashleigh... thank you!! I too try to be creative.. a person can only handle so many winks (LOL) Blessings to you honey... BTW I really enjoy reading your blog too!!

ReviewsSheROTE Pamela R said...

It is so heard to understand tone when reading ALL CAPS CAN mean YELLING...or REALLLLLLLLY EXCITED!!!! But asking is aways a grat way to avoid any misunderstandings-- One of my Moms quotes was always -Its NOT what you say -IT HOW you say it! In this day an age THAT is NEVER MORE true!

Kenya G. Johnson said...

I definitely had to grow into being tactful. I can be very sarcastic too. Lacking tact and sarcasm is not a good combination. Sometimes I wonder how something comes off in a post like today (thanks for your comment). All of them were positive but I was wondering if someone was going to blast me. It seems as though I pulled off "meaning no harm" (quite a few times). It's so funny how people who I don't know seem to understand my tone or "get it" just fine. My dad will be the one to call me and make me worry about the post.

Jenn said...

This is exactly why I dislike texting/email so much! I'm a huge fan of talking to someone, and I'm so saddened by the ability to "text to talk" (am I showing my age here or what?!). I always try to re-read what I've written when I comment/text and 'listen' through the other persons ears... It's hard!

Heather said...

Wow, so well said--again. You have a wonderful way with words. And what a lesson! I don't know how many times I've seen a written or spoken misunderstanding turn into weeks, months, and sometimes even years of strain and discomfort and avoidance. I admit that I am stubborn as a mule and tend to look back at what I say (sometimes cringe) and then say if someone has a problem it's their problem not mine. I am learning every day not to let misunderstandings fester and this is a wonderful reminder!

Courtney said...

You are just too cute Carla. I freaking love your posts. :) And --- side note --- the nerve of that person to call your friend less than a writer. GRR!