I would like to start off by saying that by no means, by my sharing my "story", my feelings, thoughts and experiences, am I doing so to have people feel sorry for me. I am not insinuating that anyone has either. wink, wink.
My feelings and what I go through is due to things that were set in motion many years ago, by choices I made. This is why we should not take having children lightly... meaning think things through... plan them out before you carry your decisions out.
I am not saying that I regret any of my decisions... I am saying I would have handle things a little bit different. Bite the bullet so to speak.
I've shared with you before, and it is also on my "About my Blog" page, I share all of me for when the day comes that my sons or daughter, family or friends, want to know me a little more or are trying to understand why I tick the way I do... well here's my handbook! Hahaha!
Yeah! I'm so complicated that I need a handbook! Hysterical! I never thought about it that way. Hahaha still can't stop laughing...
No... but seriously... I just wanted to leave my kids "my side of the story"... for whenever they were ready to learn about me.
Also... If I can help someone feel less alone... if my experiences help them in any way... or if they need a friend... well I sincerely hope I can help. I felt so alone going through a lot of my life, especially with my parents not really being around.
I won't lie to you... I am still picking myself up from my "down time" hahaha - that's a new way of looking at it. and it is not easy... but I am doing it.
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I am not claiming that I am some super hero, although I have been told most of my life that I looked like Wonder Woman ~ Linda Carter. Not saying that I did or anything, but there was a resemblance- I too am a brunette with blue eyes, so I'm sure that's part of it... you decide.
I know it's not the best picture of me to compare it with Linda Carter/Wonder Woman... but you get the idea ;) wink, wink. (This is a picture of me in beauty school circa 1982- I can't believe that its been thirty years!)
As I was saying, it's not that I am a Wonder Woman (hee, hee)... I know that I have dealt with depression most, if not all of my life (I can remember dealing with sadness as early as six and seven years old anyways), I have gone to therapy and been on anti-depressants...
However I personally feel that I would like to handle this naturally, and have chosen to deal with my issues and get over them. Ha! If only it was as easy as I made it sound.
Oh and by the way... I am not saying that everyone, anyone, you or anyone you know should handle grief, sadness or issues the way I am. Not a psychiatrist, therapist or anything.
I read, watch Oprah (hahaha sounds silly but I have learned a lot from her), read some more, talk to my besties and my family, use logic and my faith in God. Oh and how can I forget, I blog too.
All these things are my tools for healing and living a meaningful life. A life I will be proud of. A woman my husband, children, family and friends would be proud of.
I want to leave my children knowledge, compassion, honesty, integrity, tenderness and love.
I want to help someone not have to ever feel even one tenth of the pain I have felt in my life.
I want to help put a smile on someone's heart.
This is why I share my life.
A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.
~Denis Waitley
(here's to you finding your...)
Peace,
21 days to go... {I can't believe it, really I can't}
... for a, l & c. You are my sunshine(s).
Images are courtesy of google or Bing images. Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own. U.S Copyright laws apply. © 2012
10 comments:
Leaving a legacy through our children and the generations to come is one sure way to make a lasting imprint on the world. This is one reason my hubby and I are so committed to healthy living. We want to extend our period of influence as long as possible!
For the record, I wouldn't come back if I you sounded like you wanted someone to feel sorry for you. I can tell you are working through your pain and I just want to support your. You DO look Linday Howard and if you are an Oprah fan (which I am) watching and listening to her isn't silly. By the way my son is standing behind he is said, "Why are you looking at Wonder Woman stuff?" Let me get this little boy off to school.
Carla you are a wonderful woman to share your heart with us each and every day! I love to come on your blog, You are a true blessing to me since I have been on VoiceBoks!! Be Blessed
Sometimes it helps just to get it all on the table. Let others take it or leave it. Your blog helps you do that. I think it is awesome that you have opened your self up like this.
There is definitely a difference in your writing from someone who is just looking for "pitty" You can tell...well...at least it's apparent for me that this is not your motive! For many just knowing that someone else is going through a hard time and can relate, or have been there is what they need to get through their day! I think your articles will one day if they haven't already be a great source for someone else who is looking for a ray of sunshine.
Reading your post put a smile in my heart :) For the record, you do look like Linda Carter- totally see the resemblance. I think we all have a little Wonder Woman in us, dealing with your issues head on is very heroic.
Wishing you all the best in your journey!
I have to admit that picture does look like wonder woman. ;) It's always nice to leave something for our children. Knowledge, compassion, honesty, integrity, tenderness and love are GREAT things to leave for them, better then tangible stuff. :)
Everybody handles the pain & sadness in their life in different ways. I think journaling everyday is a healthy way to deal, and by sharing it on your blog, you never know when your words might be just what someone needed to hear.
Stopping by from VoiceBoks!
(I'm guessing since you are on Day 344 and it's only May, you must have started mid-year.)
I can see a little wonderwoman in you--its funny I played vollyball in highschool -my nickname was "WONDERWOMAN" =)
Thanks for sharing your story.
I agree, I do see the resemblance to Linda Carter too! Your blog is a wonderful way to express yourself, an such a great way for your family to learn more about you and learn from you. Keep up the great work!
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