Day 511 ~ Any Man Can be a Father... (XXIV)

Day 24 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) 

You're moving toward the home stretch of your 30-day challenge! Just a reminder of what you've committed: 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband's leadership in the home as much as possible, and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure, and may make him to want to give up.

Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills.

If you don't have children—is your husband positive and encouraging around other people's children? Let him know that you have noticed. If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents, and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent—while still maintaining his authority in the home. 

Day 24 ! . . .
I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

What a great topic!  

Dean, by all means, is a fabulous father!!  And, he is even a better step-father!!! 

Since my husband has been a part of my life he has always identified with my sons.  Better yet, he has always known what to say to me in regards to them.

Even before Calley was born, Dean has shown me what a wonderful insight he has with children.

Today he continues to be a terrific dad.  He is understanding, patient and very, very loving!  

The best part of it all is that he is just as much as a [BIG] kid as they are.

I could not have asked for a better father to my children if I had not wished him up myself!! 

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 510 ~ Kindness, A Substitution for Anger (XXIII)

Day 23 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"Let your speech always be with grace." (Collosians 4:6a) 

You're moving toward the home stretch of your 30-day challenge! Just a reminder of what you've committed: 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works..."  (Titus 2:7a)

Does the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness in your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him.

Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed - but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized.

Whatever the need, you can be your husband's cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up.

Day 23 ! . . .
I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

"Kindness..." {. . .  is so tough at a time of anger that two days are needed to cover this subject!"}

Being kind with your words even if you are upset is the hardest thing to do!  Try it.  I have.

The great lesson that I have learned through this challenge has become easier and easier... or  rather yet in the neighborhood of being second nature.

Additionally I have learned that being kind through the course of a disagreement is a whole lot better than getting upset.  Your point comes across clearer.   And the end result being more pleasant.

Our home is calmer.  Peaceful.

Now. This is not to say that I have not gotten uber angry, because I have.  It is just the way I express my anger.  [which at first was very challenging]

Being angry and trying to find kind words to express yourself is an art.  To sit and sort through your feelings and then translate them to kind words is soothing in itself.  Even funny at times.  

More importantly is the way my husband is responding.  What once seemed to be the act of pulling teeth... has now become a day at the candy store.  If that makes any sense.

Heck... I just try to have a more comical, gentler way of expressing myself.  It sure is more welcomed, that's for sure!

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 509 ~ Speaking Kindness (XXII)

Day 22 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"Let your speech always be with grace." (Collosians 4:6a) 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

Focus today on how you represent your husband in your home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask: "If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I've said about him, what would they think of my husband?" Do you need to change the filter? Do you talk positively about your husband to others . . . or do you complain and criticize?

Your speech should reflect 1 Cor. 13 love. Your words should be kind, and should never "rejoice in iniquity" (v. 6). Refrain from listing your husband's faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area—be wary of sharing barbed "prayer requests." Remember, "Love will cover a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8b). Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a "good word" for your spouse.

Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Some of what you say may come back to him—and you want your words to be sweet, building him up and never tearing him down.

Don't forget: you are always criticizing—or encouraging—before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace. 

Day 22 ! . . .
I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

Kindness... 

I can't tell you how many times kindness has nipped me in the butt!  LOL!  

Seriously now... 

I think the hardest thing to do is to be kind to someone who is downright mean.

I am definitely not speaking of my husband... he is far too kind.

I really don't have to go out of my way to speak kind of him... especially when everyone else already is doing so.

My husband has done well for himself.  He is far too kind and has always been known as such.

If anything, I sometimes think "what the heck is he doing married to me?!"

Oh... let me get something straight here... I am not mean.  I just have been hurt so much that I have taken my hurt out on others.  "Scapegoating."  I can't be more honest than that.

However... I tend to go out of my way to protect myself and my family and am far more on the defense than he is.

My husband is kind, loving and very giving.  He has not seen not even 10% of the cruelty that I have seen.  He never thinks or looks at things or people as I do.  I am always very skeptical and he is so trusting.

With that said... this is was makes us so different.

He grew up in a loving, supportive family... divorce and all.

I on the other hand, saw nothing but spite, revenge and ugliness... 

BIG DIFFERENCE.

So when it comes to building my husband up... well... his actions have already taken care of that.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 508 ~ All We Need Is Love (XXI)

Day 21 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (Matthew 6:33) 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do or say is seen from an eternal perspective. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful.

Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world. If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Only two things will go into eternity . . . the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things. 

Day 21 ! . . .    

I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

Materialism.... hmmmm... what a brain teaser, if you will.

Seems when one is young and looking forward to adulthood, most of one's dreams are of what their life may be like as adults... the house... the car... the spouse.. and not to mention the 2.2 kids.

We all assume that life will be just like that...

Never do we picture life struggling ... having a marriage that fails ... an abusive spouse ... or possibly having life altering experiences happen.  

We just assume that we will live happily ever after... just like in the fairy tales.

As a child when my own parents were divorcing ... life as I knew it was falling apart... I experienced much sadness... the only thing that gave me happiness was the hope that God would step in later in my life.  At the mere age of 9 I thought that since my childhood was unhappy that God would make sure that my adulthood was happy.  I thought he did this for everyone.

Needless to say that childhood hope did not come true.

Fast forward to today ... my life is not "peachy keen" per say HOWEVER I have had to struggle for my own happiness and God is a big part of it.

Do material things really matter?  Well they don't hurt anything that's for sure and they do bring pleasure to ones life... maybe a little comfort and luxury.

Do I long for a beautiful home?  luxury car?  all the dresses and shoes to choose from?  

I long for happiness, as does my husband.  My husband is a most content man.  He always makes sure I have nice things (not because I ask for them) and takes the bottom of the barrel for himself.  He is very selfless in that way.

I am in no way saying that any of "those" things would not be grand to have... who are we kidding here?  wink, wink.  But we really don't NEED them as long as we have love and a happy home.  

Besides which, you can't take it all with you and they do not matter in eternal life anyways.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 507 ~ Forgive & Be Forgiven (XX)

Day 20 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32) 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

It's time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband—by God's grace and in His power —you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you.

Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man.

Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for an offense?  

Day 20 ! . . .    

I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

When it comes to forgiveness in my home, it must always be preempted by a cooling down period.

I have learned that when I get upset and go off the charts... it's like gravity... whatever goes up must come down.  Or as in our case, whatever temper heats up, it must cool down.

I have also learned that staying mad at your spouse, or anyone for that matter, does not help you.  All those ugly negative feelings are only good for bringing you down and darkening your heart.

When one first meets their "true" love we are so forgiving.  It all falls under the honeymoon stage.  

Have a few years go by, commit the same offense and then see how far that gets you!  Chuckle, chuckle.

Seriously, it's not that cute anymore.

However, if we keep the honeymoon going on year after year, forgiveness will come by easy.

What keeps me grounded lately is knowing that if I forgive, then I too will be forgiven by Him.

I believe that is enough to motivate me to forgive my hubby... wouldn't you agree?  wink, wink.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 506 ~ Right Place, at the Right Time (XIX)

Day 19 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

10  "My beloved us radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.  11His head is purest gold;  his hair is wavy and black as raven. 12His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. 

13His cheeks are like beds of spice y

ielding perfume.  

His lips are like lilies 

dripping with myrrh. 

14His arms are rods of gold 

 set with topaz. 

His body is like polished ivory 

 decorated with lapis lazuli. 

15His legs are pillars of marble s

et on bases of pure gold. 

His appearance is like Lebanon,

 choice as its cedars. 

1. 16His mouth is sweetness itself; 

 he is altogether lovely. 

This is my beloved, this is my friend, 

 daughters of Jerusalem." (Song of Solomon 5:10-16) 

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

Criticism leaves scars; but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your "30-Day Encouragement Challenge." Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands' bodies.

Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the standards of the world - a loving God designed them all, and they are all "beautiful" in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness.

As you look over your husband's body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is "wonderfully made," then admire your husband verbally. (Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile?)

Day 19 ! . . .    

I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

All that and then some!  That's for sure. 

Funny... have you ever wondered what it would have been like if you would have met your loved one years before you did?

Honestly... if my husband and I would have met in high school I really don't think we would have made a connection.  Or would have we?

My husband back in the day was in a band and very much a rocker.  Don't get me wrong... he wasn't a crazy rocker or anything... he just loved playing music.

And I at the time was very much into Prince, Madonna and anything else that you could dance too... including the "Madonna-look-a-like" wardrobe!  Yes!  The big hair, shoulder pads or lack there of, plenty of bracelets and let us not forget all the neon back in the 80s!!

I think we met when we were suppose to meet... wink, wink.  Any other time would have been less than perfect.

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.

Day 505 ~ Give Joy, Get Joy! (XVIII)

Day 18 of the Husband Encouragement Challenge
courtesy of ReviveOurHearts.com

"You will show me the path of life.  In your presence is fullness of joy . . . Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!'" (Psalm 16:11a; 144:15b) 

"A merry heart does good like medicine . . ." (Proverbs 17:22a)

• You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

It's hard to criticize others when we are enjoying their company. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband. Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a "little boy" that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who he is, and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times.

If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax.    

Day 18 ! . . .    

I'm going to keep this simple and not let it get too wordy.  

If someone is always nice to you, giving you joy, making you laugh, telling you how great you are... well you very well can't get mad at them ... now can you?

I'd say that it would truly make it difficult.

So give it a try.  

I have.  

If you think about it that's all I've been doing with this challenge... encouraging my husband... telling him how great he is... how much we appreciate him... how thankful we are for him and all he does for us.

There's a bonus to this challenge too... a happy home!!

[here's to you finding your... ]

Peace...

I am second..

... for a, l & c.  You are my sunshine(s).  

Images are courtesy of google or Bing images.  Some images maybe labeled property of Carla Barila Karam and of this blog, Took It... Making It... Living It... My Life .  © 2012  U.S Copyright Laws apply.