Friday, June 17, 2011

Day 9 ~ Does Anyone Know the Answer? ... What is Self-Worth?

For the past week I've been getting these subtle messages... whether it was said by someone I know, reported on a news show or discussed by Suze Orman on "Finding Sarah: From Royalty to The Real World" on OWN ... regardless, the message was the same.
How do you get self worth?  Look for the one thing that gives you IT.  ... Do you like yourself? ... We have to like and love oneself, and be happy with oneself before we can truly be happy in life.
For as much as I want to be able to answer these questions with a big fat YES!  I need to understand them first.  

courtesy of Bing images
I know what "self" means, as well as the word "worth"- now I don't know about you, but when I put the two words together they become powerful, almost intimidating.  [So needless to say, I am still looking for IT.]  

When the question of liking oneself decides to show its ugly face, that in itself stirs up a sleuth of questions.  What I can say is, that I know I am a good person, with good morals and principles.  I know right from wrong, and help others before helping myself.  I put my children first and love them with all my heart and soul, unconditionally.  I am always there for my family.  I love and adore my husband, who always shows selflessness when it comes to his family and friends.~  He makes me want to be a better person.  Then...

Then I think of how bitter I have become.  I think of the times I have reacted before thinking or even said things I didn't mean.  Or take things out on people that don't deserve being the "scapegoat" of my hurt and/or simply what I had experienced earlier that day.  When I pass by a mirror, low and behold- there's a scowl on my face!  I never used to be like this!  I used to be a happy person [regardless of what I may had already experienced in my life]... yet that happiness seems from another time, another place, another life so long ago.  

Now, when I apologize to you tomorrow for saying or doing something that left you scratching your head because you do not know where that came from... please know that I have thought about what I did and realized that I was a "jerk" and more importantly I hope you do not hold it against me.  And yes, I have apologized (plenty of times) to my family and friends when I have realized I was wrong... there are a few of you out there that can attest to this too!  ;)

I know that I can not change what had happened yesterday... but what I can do is, with each day that is given to me, do the best possible to do something great that day... then maybe, just maybe I will find the answer to these questions.

Blessings to all.

356 days to go

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

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