Thursday, July 28, 2011

Day 50 ~ A Mother's Love Part Deux

Courtesy of Bing images
As mentioned in earlier postings, once I put a subject "in a balloon and let it go"... that's it, I am letting it go and moving on with my life in a positive way.

However, my posting last night A Mother's Love, apparently struck a nerve with my cousin Gloria.  She came to my mother's defense with both barrels loaded.

First of all, I appreciate the fact that she has had such a wonderful relationship with my mother, apparently everyone has, except for her own children.  After all my mother has helped her and the rest of her family get either citizenship or green cards here in the US, among other things.

She stated that I had a "selective memory" as to what has happened in my mother's life and that she's a 73 year old woman that has OCD, and has suffered post-partum depression and was hospitalized for it something all together different (it was 1970, and they had no clue about PPD back then).  First of all ... she is 71.  Secondly, I did touch on this subject a little in Day 11.  Finally, how dare you tell me what I remember is not right and to ask your dad... I was there, I do not have to ask anyone.

As part of my reply to my cousin I had said for her to walk a mile in my shoes... well here are a few more steps for you to walk in...

Imagine yourself being nine years old, we lived in the heart of Hollywood, and it was 1972,  It was around ten o'clock at night and my mother, brother, sister and I were out on Hollywood Boulevard... before I knew it... they were no where in sight!! She was gone, and I found myself all alone avoiding strangers... She had gone home, she didn't look for me... I had to call my father collect to come get me.

I am not trying to bash my mother, nor disrespect the memory of my father.  I am trying to heal and become a better person, so I do not repeat the mistakes my parents made.

I am writing this blog so that my children one day understand what I have been through, so that they can understand and know the truth.  My truths, my experiences, my downfalls and my successes without ever having a doubt of who I am and how much I love them.  My intent is not to hurt anyone, but as mentioned to heal.  With that said if you do not like what I write, well quite frankly, it is MY LIFE and WHAT I EXPERIENCE... It is my TRUTHS of what I have SEEN.  Furthermore, do you think I have enjoyed walking in my shoes?  

People who have lived beautiful lives and have felt the unconditional love from their parents may find this hard to believe... well I'm sorry, but not everyone has lived a "perfect life" or felt that "unconditional love".  

I mentioned last night that it saddens me that I do not share the same love for my mother that my friends or even cousins have for their mothers... This does not make me happy.  I am not passing "judgement" on my mother, so you do not have to quote scriptures to me in such an ugly way...  this hurts!    Being that I can not change any of that... I have to PUT IT IN A BALLOON & LET IT GO for my family's sake.  For my sake... I have to move forward and raise my daughter, love her as I would have wanted to experience myself.  

So shame on you Gloria, for you being so quick to pass "judgement" on me.  You weren't even born yet when any of this was happening to my family.  You came so quickly to my mother's defense... did you even really read my post?  Anyways, I'm sure that you will now follow suit like the rest of the family... for what they are known for, they stop talking to you when they do not like you or what you do and then talk behind your back.  If that's the case, and that is how you feel, it is a shame.  I thought you were smarter than that... especially since you are an "MD"!  

I myself, may not be an MD, but I certainly do not operate that way.  I talk about things, I solve them or agree to disagree.  I do not pass judgement on others, Lord knows I am not perfect.  I unfortunately am a product of my parent's actions or non-actions...  and It stops here!!  It is all up in a balloon and gone, flown away!  Now... to be the best wife to my husband, and above all be the bestest mother my children can ask for!! 
“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible — the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”  - Virginia Satir
 “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.”  Sophocles

Blessings to all!!

315 days to go.

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent. 

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