Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Day 146 ~ I Do

Does anyone in Hollywood believe in the institution of marriage anymore?  Or did they ever?

I never understood why the rest of the country would always make their comments on how liberal (in a non political sense) California, let alone Los Angeles is, until I moved away.

Seems like everything needs to be politically correct, as well as "for appearance" purposes.  So when it is being reported that Kim Kardashian's husband was casted, let alone that he was not the first choice for her reality show (really?!)... well, what next?  It's no wonder her marriage only lasted 72 days.

I'm sure you're probably saying, "Carla, you've been married more than once!"  Yes, I have.  However, I know that I gave my first marriage all I could.  I even remember thinking that as long as I can look in the mirror and say that I gave it 100%... well let's just say that I did, and then some.  I know I promised you honesty, and honesty you will get..my second marriage... well it did not even make it to a year, and honestly, I married him for all the wrong reasons... and discovered that love was not one of them.  As a side note, quite frankly I forgot about number two until I was writing this and said, "Oh yeah... that's right!  Oops I totally forgot!"

I do want to let you know that I was not the one that filed for divorce in either marriage.  Regardless, I do not wish either experience on anyone.

I am not here to judge Kim... Lord knows I have made my share of stupid choices and dumb moves in my life.  But the fact that people in general, or maybe in this case, the State of California has made it too easy to dissolve a marriage, and the fact that it is a "community property" state has not stopped anyone.

Personally, I feel that there should be mandatory pre-marriage counseling, as well as mandatory pre-divorce counseling.  What will this solve?  Well, in pre-marriage counseling the weak will get weeded out, and in pre-divorce counseling the strong will remain married.  In my opinion, in both cases, the institution of marriage will get the respect it deserves.

Dean & I  ~  Our Wedding
One last note on the matter... marriage takes work.  It isn't about falling in love and living happily ever after.  You have to work at it.  You have to be able to recognize when to battle and when to keep quiet.  Yes, keep quiet.  Just because someone is upset and being ridiculous, does not mean that you should sink with them.  Let him or her yell it out and give them room or rather time to cool down.  The dust always settles, and then you or your spouse will apologize for any unreasonable actions.  We (always) do.

The important thing is, to fight fair.  Name calling is never acceptable, and neither is foul language.  It only shows a lack of ability to communicate and vocalize your feelings.  You and your spouse should establish "fighting rules" early in your relationship, and stick to them.  Talk it out.  Talk about how you feel, and not about what the other person may or may not be doing wrong.  Be caring and understanding.  Remember, you love this person.

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  ~  Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.  ~Doug Larson

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.  ~  Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)

I am thankful for my husband.

Blessings to all!!

219 days to go...

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

1 comment:

Suzy said...

Carla, that's a really nice wedding pic. You look lovely.