Saturday, November 5, 2011

Day 150 ~ Cease and Desist

The other day (Day 144) I briefly mentioned the "D" word.

Yes, drugs.  Let me make this perfectly clear.  I do not want my use of drugs in my past define who I am.  Nor will I make any excuses for it.  I think it was a waste of time and money, and more importantly drugs are bad for you and your body.

I think people refer to it as recreational usage.  I just thought of it as a "happy place" away from the realities of my life.  I was young.  My late teenage years, through my early twenties.  

Once again, I feel very grateful to the fact that I was able to recognize what was going on, and I cease and desist (halt all activity.)

I am not claiming to be a "sober" person.  I do like my wine and my martinis and other spirits of such, however I do not dabble on the dark side for quite some time!  I did at one point feel that I was hanging out at clubs too much in my mid thirties (after the horrendous court battle with my boys' father) which prompted me to move back to Los Angeles and put my life back together.

One thing is certain, once you sober up you have to face all the problems you were once running away from.  And with that... I grabbed all my baggage and took it to a therapist.

I loved therapy.  However, it is very important to have the right therapist.  This makes a HUGE difference.  I feel that therapy and honesty, when used together, makes for a successful journey.  I had to be 100% honest with myself in order to understand everything, accept responsibility for my work and stop blaming myself for what was not my doing.  

Taking all that I have experienced, what I have learned from it, good and bad, I am really happy with who I am.  I accept what I have done and what I have experienced... the good, the bad and the ugly...  for it has made me the me I am today.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

~  Winston Churchill

I am thankful for the person I have grown into being.

Blessings to all!!

215 days to go...

PS... I just could not resist with the Winston Churchill quote.  I love it!  ;)  (wink, wink)

All contents herein are protected under Copyright laws and can not be used, altered or copied. All accounts herein are written by Cali-Gal/Carla B Karam and are true accounts of her life. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Hi Carla! I'm stopping by from BloggyMoms! I enjoyed reading this post. I spent a lot of time in clubs before I met my husband, who effectively "tamed" me with his down-to-earth personality and sweet heart. But there was always my wild side that wanted to get free. Every so often I will indulge that side and go out dancing with the girls again, but these days, as soon as I get to the clubs, I'm reminded of the wonderful family I have at home. And I can't wait to get back.

I think it's wonderful that you can fully accept the journey that has brought you to where you are today. It's difficult to look back on previous "mistakes" and not feel terrible about them or yourself. I'm happy for you that you are able to accept all of it as part of your amazing journey. Blessings to you!

Smiles, Jenn @Misadventures in Motherhood