Thursday, January 26, 2012

Day 232 ~ Choosing Your Battles

Back on the lighter side of life... well lighter that yesterday's subject anyway... marriage.

Yes I said  m-a-r-r-i-a-g-e.  I know and realize that for some, this may not be a lighter subject.  Could be a sore subject at that.  I know there was a day that I used to feel this way... many, many, many moons ago (first marriage).  Almost seems like a lifetime ago... geez, it was a lifetime ago!   

My first marriage was so... so militant.  Strict, could be another word.  Quite uneasy at times, and always under the gun.  Each day at about quarter to five in the evening, I would stop what I was doing and would rush to pick up the house.  Otherwise, hell was sure to break loose.

Don't get me wrong, I loved having a clean house.  My house was clean, believe me is was.  But no matter what, something would always stand out and not meet "his" standards.  

I have always been of the thought "there's a place for everything and everything has its place".  However, "he" took it took a whole new level.  

Venice, California
Fast forward to today.  

Today, I am married to my best friend.  I have never felt so at ease with anyone in my life.  Never at a loss for words.  No need to sensor myself.  There isn't a moment in the day that I do not feel that I can not be myself around Dean.

You guessed it!  Dean is the complete polar opposite of "him".  Dino, as I lovingly call him, is so laid back.  If anything, I find myself being too orderly around him.  Needless to say, that with the years together, I have toned it down quite a bit.  Even so, I still love a clean house. 

With all that said, there are days that I wonder why my wonderful husband can't put the bread back, or actually make the hamper once in a while.  My life is not as orderly as it used to be, but having lived and seen the "dark side" ... I would not have it any other way.

March 22, 2003  ~  Malibu, California
After eleven years, of which we have been married for nearly nine years, I have almost mastered the art of "choosing my battles".  Instead of getting upset each and every time something is not put away, I may make a crack about it on the tenth time or so.  

In recent years, I have taken a page out of my mother-in-law's life... just take care of it.  After all she is living with three, YES THREE men... my father-in-law and my two brother-in-laws... and she wholeheartedly takes care of all three of them without a complaint.  That's three men she is picking up after and taking care of.  I once commented to her that both my brother-in-laws were old enough to make their own beds, sorry guys.  Mom explained to me that the boys do so much for her and dad, that that's the least she could do.  Enough said.  Understood.

After some thought, you can say that I have it easy.  Especially since Calley, our five year little girl, loves taking care of her daddy too.  She really is starting to be a BIG help around the house.

My husband comes home to Calley and me every night, he is honest and caring, a hard worker with integrity and a sense of humor that doesn't stop.  He is my best friend and the love of my life.  He has always brought out the best in me.  I wouldn't trade him for the world!

So, when I see the mayonnaise left out or Dino forgot to take the trash out... I snicker and put the mayo in the fridge and I take the trash out myself.  I pick my battles.

You see there are worse things to fight about.  

A happy wife, is a happy life.  ~ many attributions for this quote
A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.  ~ author unknown 
We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck.  But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.  ~ Ellen Goodman

Blessings to all!!

133 days to go...

PS... Sons, I love and miss you.  To the moon and stars above and back.  You are my sunshine(s).

Images belong to Carla Barila Karam and Taking Back My Life ~ Making It My Own, and are protected by US Copyright Laws.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Ahh sweet. :) I am married to my best friend as well, and it's so refreshing. I can be myself, and he can he himself. I never dreamed marriage would be so sweet. :) It's been almost 7 years, and it just keeps getting better. :)